Can You Catch A Dog In A Spiderweb?

I spotted it from the bedroom, shimmering in the morning sunlight.

It was humid with the sun was fighting through the early Marine layer.

It was a large spiderweb inhabited by a large crab spider.

Giving it some room, I circled to the back to see what I could see.  Trying to catch the sun in the water droplets, I had a trick of perspective.

It looked like my backyard had been attacked by an arachnid of nuclear proportions.  A huge web that threatened to take my shed with it, was threatening my dog, Rack.

No, Rack!  Don't go there!  The Spider will get you!  You'll be Crab Food!

Seemingly unconcerned about the tricks that my eye were playing, he glanced over at the pool.

The Spider didn't care.  I was close and it wasn't moving from its place on the opposite side of the web.  Its eight eyes were apparently not watching me so much as what was going on at the back of the property with the dog.   I sprayed some water onto the web to highlight what nature had started.  The water that landed there shimmered green, then white, refracting the sunrise that had been coming into view. 

Next time, Mr Spider, Next time.  I shall leave you to your lair, but you will not molest the dog with your giant web of doom.

Come Rack!  Inside!  Lets go!

Martin Luther King on Nonviolent Change

For this day, I wanted to see if I could find something that explained something that happened years ago that I had missed.

I am engaging in a little historical fact checking in my own head, a little self-reeducation of things that I had forgotten.

I had heard that Dr. Martin Luther King had been a strong believer in the process of nonviolent change.  Through the dust and fog of the intervening years, and through the current disturbances through the world, it was a strong contrast to how things have happened in this century.

"Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, Stockholm, Sweden, December 11, 1964)

This is one of the videos that I have found that speaks to the subject.  It is Dr Martin Luther King being interviewed at some point in the 1950s after the desegregation of the Little Rock, Arkansas schools where he gives his own views on the subject as well as his own theories on how to effect change in society.

If you ignore the interviewer, who was not terribly effective, you hear MLK's own words on this subject.

"Noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good"  MLK

A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it..

Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?
Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?

Man: Will you just try the soup.
Waiter: Is it too hot?

Man: Will you just try the soup
Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?

Man: Will you just try the damned soup son
Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...

Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!
Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.

Man: Exactly.

When Beethoven Passed Away

When Beethoven passed away he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too.

Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

When Someone Brags About MPG Just a Little Too Much

I was told this story years ago.
I have heard it retold many times.
Each time, the details change slightly, as all good stories do.

It was told to me about back in the days of the Air Cooled Volkswagen Beetle, but it could just as easily be told today about a Toyota Prius.

I'm sure it has been.  I'll just stick to the original.  I was walking down Wilton Drive last night with Rack and Kevin and Kevin was beginning to tell it back to me.  When he mangled it, I of course jumped in with both boots and retold it as I remembered it.  I'll try to put pen to paper here, maybe you'll enjoy the story too.


The story goes that there was a guy who bought a new VW Beetle and was astounded about how good the car was on gas. This was in the days of the big slow turning V8s that got single digit gas mileage.

Yeah, its the US and we still use Miles.  Deal with it.

The guy came to work one too many times, told the story how he was getting better than twice what the big Chevys, Chryslers, and Fords got.  Working in an office where people saw each other each day, maybe met after work for a few at the corner bar or pub, well this was a group that stuck together.

But they heard the story one time too many and decided something had to be done.

Knowing that Beetle Guy was in an inside office all day, the Ringleader hatched a plan to mess with his head.

What Ringleader was going to do was go out each day and add a little gas to the car.  After all, you're not ruining the car, you are just giving Beetle Guy a little extra gas.  Free!

About a week later, the stories started coming back louder and stronger!

"Guys! You won't believe it!  The car's breaking in and I'm getting better and better mileage!  I swear I could drive a month on this tank!".

Cue the snickering behind their hands.  "Yeah, we all heard it before".  They feigned indifference.

Ringleader said "Oh yeah?  You must be getting three times what I get in my old Ford.".
Beetle said "Yeah! I think I could drive all the way to the city, down to the shore, up to the mountains, and all on one tank!"

At this point it had been going on for a while and the stories got longer and shriller.  Beetle was thinking about taking the car cross country "Since I'm getting this amazing mileage!".

It was time to change tactics.  The ringleader waited until Beetle guy went into his office and he told the crew what was next.

Ringleader said "Ok, guys!  Instead of adding a gallon a day, now I'm going to take it back!  I'm going to siphon a gallon a day out of the tank.".

The office roared in laughter.  Ringleader went out on the first coffee break and siphoned out a gallon.  Poured it back into his car.  After all, he's just reclaiming what's his, right?

This siphoning went on all week.

It didn't take long.  The bragging from Beetle Guy stopped almost immediately.  People started asking questions.  "What happened with your car? We're not hearing about it any more.".

Beetle guy said "I don't know what happened!  I was going along with the car getting 50 MPG!  I could go anywhere!  It never emptied, that gas gauge never moved, then all the sudden it went nuts!  I have an appointment for the first service this week so I'll ask there!".

Ringleader egged him on "Why, buddy?  Doesn't that car get amazing mileage anymore?".

Beetle Guy said "I'm not sure, I'm so disappointed with it now.  I'm even thinking about trading it in!".

It was this point where Ringleader "fessed up".

"It was us.  You were bragging so much with the car, and going on and on about how many MPG you got and holding it over our heads we had to do something!".

Beetle guy was wondering and not sure what to expect.

"Last month we added a gallon a day to the VW.  This month, we took a gallon a day back!"

So you see, sometimes when you brag, a little too much, someone comes by and siphons your gas tank!

That Karma thing works even in a Car.

Rack The McNab Superdog Romps in Wilton Manors

He's a working dog.
Why are you keeping him in a house?
Doesn't he get out of control?  Tear things up?  Bark like crazy?

Yes, he's a working dog.  He's also amazing.  He's amazing in the house and out of the house.

We have all heard stories about dogs that bark like mad for no reason.  They sometimes go out into The Yard and bark at the skies.  They may bark at a passing airplane.

That's a sure fire clue that the people in that house do not need a dog, and that the dog is bored.

I'd be willing to bet that the people would also benefit getting out and walking a good solid mile or more, no matter what the breed of dog, no matter what psychological problems the dog has, and no matter where they live.

Otherwise, I stand by my original assessment, they probably should not have a dog.

But.

It is definitely possible to keep an intelligent and active breed dog in a house.  There are people who do it in small Manhattan apartments.

You have to give them a job.  Every breed benefits from having a job, that's what dogs do, active or not.

That is what I am doing here.  Rack's job is to burn off energy and act silly.

We call it Doggy Pong.  One of us is one or more houses away on a quiet street from the other.  Then we send Rack back and forth.   It usually takes about three cycles or so of back and forth to get him to tire.

If you think he's not enjoying this, take a look on his face when he comes back the second time.  The mouth is smiling so broadly that he looks like his head will split open.

The run back and forth is just a flurry of legs going every which direction, feet pounding on pavement, and fur flying in the breezes.  I swear it looks like an old Looney Tunes cartoon where Wile E Coyote is running after that Roadrunner.

Painted railroad bridge and falling boulders omitted.

It's an all ages video, and in full HD.  If you want to see it outside of this page, hit this link to youtube.

Otherwise, enjoy.  We do this all the time!  Even the neighbors get into the act.  When Rack pauses, mid video, and looks over his shoulders, a potential buyer for the property is laughing at the romp and joins in on the fun.

Doggy Pong!  A Game The Whole Family Can Play!

Windows 7 - You Have Five Years Left

Start the drum beating.

Microsoft reminded us that yesterday, January 13, 2015, that they stop all support for Windows 7 on January 14, 2020.

Now for most people they will yawn and move on.  After all they will wear out the cheap $250 laptop they are using now and move onto another cheap $250 laptop by then, sliding it under the bed or into the closet and forgetting about it until cleaning day.

"Hey!  I need to do something about that old computer!".

For large businesses who haven't even migrated onto Windows 8, they will look at the notices and hopefully begin to plan.  It is five years in the future, and while you still can get Windows 7 today, the machines they buy today will still be in use in three years, and possibly five.

Most people just shrug and accept the operating system that comes with the computer anyway.  It's easier and you don't have to worry about it until it gets too many viruses and you start looking for an answer.  At $200 per "In Store" virus removal at a big box store's "Squad", it is probably cheaper to just "move on" and get new at the low end.

It's not one of those doom and gloom things, after all.  You have five years.  The machine you are using to read this blather will most likely be "recycled" but it is something to consider.

If you are one of those poor folks who has soldiered on with Windows Vista, you have until April 11, 2017 - a mere two years and a bit.  Then the most hated operating system since Windows 8.0 will be completely unsupported, just like the dearly departed Windows XP.

To be fair, once you get all the Service Packs, Bug Fixes, and Additional Changes installed in Windows Vista, it works fairly well.  It's just bloated, slow, and you'll be better off on Windows 8.1 as well.

But for Windows 7, this means that you will still get patches, just no new features.  Virus updates, bug fixes, and any other patches will get sent along as usual, but nothing really new.

Oh, and about that old computer?  If it runs Windows 7, it probably can run Windows 8.  If it runs Windows 7, I am certain it can run some variation of Linux, and if you really are nervous about support, some of those server versions of Linux are supported for another 15 years while others get another 5 with easy upgrade paths.

After all, that is what this blog is written on - Linux on a hand me down computer.  But Linux isn't for everyone, even if I did train a 69 year old lady and her 35 year old son how to use it. 

Great story for an interview, though!

Microsoft Discontinuing Their Advanced Notification Service for Patches

Not the best news to come out of Redmond in a while. 

For Mom and Pop, they'll get the news the way they always had, their machine will restart on a Tuesday or Wednesday, they'll ask someone what is going on, and they'll hear "Patch Tuesday" out of their grand kids or their children, shrug and go on.  It's all automatic, isn't it?

For Businesses and IT support people, this Advanced Notification Service is more important. 

What happened was that it gave someone in the know the advanced notice that Microsoft was going to push a patch to their computers at some level on Patch Tuesday, typically the Second Tuesday of the Month.  It would tell them what the patch would do, and let them know some more background info on the patch.

Great.  It would also warn these people that if your computer is broken when it forces a restart, you may have to back out the patch and restore to an earlier time.  It may allow them a cushion of time to test their servers, create extra backups, revisit whether their computer security policies are up to date.

That Good Computer Hygene is a part of Information Technology.  They're made by people, people sometimes have an oops.  Best to let them know what's up and give advanced warning.

The reason you need this information is that it's entirely possible your entire business sits on "That Computer In The Corner".  They may not know what it does, but they do know it's an important box.  They may call it The Server in hushed tones, and give it offerings of tapes from time to time.

They hopefully have backed the machine up, made sure that they could gracefully reverse changes and so forth.

For my own sanity, I turned off automatic updates years ago, and keep turning it off every time I get a new machine or upgrade one.  I then make it a point to manually go to Windows Update and get "up to date" a couple days later.

The reasoning I have behind that is that while Microsoft is diligent in making sure that things work, their tests don't involve the machine that is in my lap in this exact moment.  That patch may be great on the box sitting three timezones away, but it may break when it gets to me, specifically. 

I tend to be on the trailing edge with Windows Update for that reason.

The blog posting that Microsoft made did say that the service will be available for a fee so their largest customers can manage their server farms with the information that isn't getting out so widely.

Information leaks, it's like carrying water in a leaky bucket.  Information will get all over your shoes and water the grass on the way in from the well.

But it does make things a bit less secure since Information is best used when it is widely spread.  It also puts the onus back on the individual or the person in the business who is charged with maintaining them.

Hopefully everyone has their Backups and their Restore Points set, right?

Oops. Caught myself there. It has been a week or three since I have done a proper backup.  Happens to the best of us and the rest of us.

While Manually updating Windows Update is what I personally do, it is a bit annoying and it is something you have to remember to do.  On the other hand, Automatic Updates is a bit like flying in an airplane without a seatbelt.  It is safer to fly than drive, but once in a long time something happens and you hit some turbulence.

It's all up to you and that is what I think Microsoft is telling us - Security through updates are up to you, after all it is your data and your computer.  Just be aware best practices and of what is going on around you.

The Winter Griller Gets Confused

I had a long standing tradition.

If I did it here in Florida, this far South, it would require a scene worthy of a disaster movie, so it's something best done up North.

I would wait.  Bide my time.  Eventually it would happen.

I knew it was coming, I can't remember a year that it didn't.

Snow.

When it came I was ready.  I had to go out back and grill.

Back then it was a flying saucer shaped Weber grill, a chimney to start the charcoal without that nasty starting fluid, matches and newspaper.

Come on, nobody really likes the taste of that starter fluid stuff on their steaks!

The charcoal starter was a nice, safe way to work through any lingering pyrotechnic/pyromaniac frustration you had leftover from when you were a wee brat.  Just crumble newspaper, set a steel cylinder on top of it, fill with charcoal and light the paper.  It would burn, catch the charcoal, and in about 10 minutes you could cook.

That was the plan.  Any breeze coming up the driveway and you had to get more paper since it would fan the flame and burn it all up too quickly.

I'd do that every time the first snow happened.  I would usually do it on any notable snowstorm during winter.   In and out the back door with steaks prepared to my liking along with burgers for the nay sayers and some corn to grill.

I was That Guy.  In the side yard.  Laughing at the weather.

All that went through my head as I pulled Lisa's Pepper Steak from the freezer.  Lisa passed back in summer, and when Bill moved off he dropped off two steaks at the house.  One was an amazing Delmonico steak that was tender like butter.

This second one was labeled "Pepper Steak" and "Product of Australia".  I promised to cook it upside down to make sure it wasn't confused.

A full pound of upside-down Frozen Pepper Steak was in my hands.

Slapping this freezer-aged steak on the counter, I went about my business dreaming of snowy afternoons and grilling food for friends, all the while looking at my swimming pool and the palm trees of the backyard.

When the time came, I laid out some plastic wrap to pound the steak with a big metal mallet.   Opening the package I realized I was confused.  The meat had been sliced down to thin ribbons.   Pepper steak?  This was sliced for someone to prepare a savory Asian Inspired delicacy, not for some confused Jersey Boy to pound to a pulp and grill in the backyard by the pool.

Cue the laughing.

Cue my grumbling as I went Australian in the kitchen.  Upside down under the oven.  That's where we have the Wok.  Actually, much to our chagrin, I have two.  You can never have too many Woks.

Never mind that, I enjoy Asian Inspired Cuisine (TM) and make it well.  Actually I make it well For Me.  You make it well For You.  It's like a burger.  The best burger in the world is one you make to your own specifications - for me it is Meat, Heat, and Eat.

I'll (TM) that one later.

I dutifully put it all on the heat, added a tablespoon or five of olive oil and another tablespoon of Anise Seeds.  When that all started to bubble and pop, I tossed in Lisa's Steak.  Add in some Hoisin Sauce for flavoring, about an ounce or two, to give it a sweet and savory sauce.

The house smelled like a restaurant, so I was on my way.

When the steak was cooked through, which took about 4 minutes, I dumped a two pound bag of pre-cut Asian Inspired Vegetables.

Hey, that's what they called it on the bag.  "Asian Inspired".

Politically Correct Water Chestnuts, Chopped Broccoli, and Red Bell Pepper chunks that I actually didn't pick out to nibble on as it cooked.

Still frozen, I had to wait for the wok to warm up again.

The noises and smells of the feast drew my faithful sidekick, Rack the SuperDog (TM). 

"Dad, can I have a taste too?" his brown eyes said as he caught me nibbling a choice chunk of Pepper Steak now cooked perfectly.

I flicked a piece to the side and handed it to him.

Doggy heaven.

Human Heaven too.  I forgot how much I enjoyed home made Politically Correctly Named Asian Inspired Pepper Steak.

Like a good old friend, even if it wasn't made in the backyard swatting Mosquitoes away.

Did you hear the one about Dave?

So Dave is looking for a new job and he gets an interview at a big corporation with the CEO.

During the interview the normal questions are asked like what qualifications he has, his flaws, etc...

Then the CEO asks Dave, "Give me one solid reason why I should hire you."
Dave replies, "I literally know everybody."

The CEO looking confused says, "What do you mean literally everybody?"
Dave explains to the CEO that he literally knows everybody and encourages the CEO to name any one person and he promises he knows them.

"I bet you don't know Tom Cruise", says the CEO
"Tom!? Oh hell yeah! We took a few acting classes together back in college, great guy."
"Bull!" the CEO replies, "I'm getting us flight right know and we are going to go visit him."

So Dave and the CEO get on a plane and head out west to find Tom Cruise's home.

After some searching they find it and go to knock on the door.

To the CEO's surprise Tom answers the door and the first thing out of his mouth is, "DAVE! Oh man, I haven't seen you in ages, come on in and share a drink with me!"

After a few hours of shooting the breeze and pounding some brews the CEO and Dave decide its time to leave.

On the way to the airport the CEO tells Dave, "Ok, so I'm still not convinced, I mean, small world right?

You couldn't possibly know Tom Cruise AND the president!" Dave smirks and says, "Would you like to go find out?"

The CEO immediately buys plane tickets to go to D.C. to see if Dave is full of it or not.

The two manage to get on a tour of the White House when out of no where the CEO hears somebody yelling, "Dave! Hey! Dave! So good to see you! Ive got a lot of meetings today but lets get a cup of coffee real quick!"

The CEO turns around to find that the president is the one yelling at Dave. Stunned and almost convinced that Dave literally knows everybody, the CEO says, "Ok, mister, Tom Cruise and the president, that's impressive, but I highly doubt you know the Pope!"

Dave then recalls stories of his parents growing up in a small town with the Pope.

The CEO ready to finally call Dave out fronts the bill for tickets to the Vatican to try and meet the Pope.

As they stand in the crowd of thousands and thousands of people waiting to be blessed by the Pope, Dave tells the CEO, "I'm going to try to get us a better view."

Dave makes his way past a few guards and up some stairs and the next thing you know he's walking out next to the Pope.

Dave returns to find the CEO is having a heart attack. Dave asks what happened and the CEO replies,
"I was blown away by the fact you knew the Pope but what really got me was the guy behind me who said, 'Hey! Who is that jerk with Dave?'"