My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry.. so I threw a coconut at his face.

Yesterday I had an appointment.  Everything in Florida is in "Strip Malls" or what we tended to call a "Shopping Center" Up North.  There is rarely one sort of business in one of those places, Dollar Store next to a Shoe Store next to a Supermarket.  That kind of mixed up thing.

I went into a discount clothing store after the appointment and noticed a very similar situation.  I merely smiled at the security guard and nodded my head yes, then went on.

I never did find that cycling jersey.  Oh well!





 Lost my job on the first day

Started my new job at a hardware store today. Lasted less than a day.

About two hours in, this fat, ugly woman covered in tattoos and piercings storms in with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them the whole way through the entrance. She was loud enough to rattle the shelves.

Trying to be polite, I said: “Good morning, welcome! Nice kids you’ve got there. Are they twins?”

She snaps back: “Hell no! One’s 9 and the other’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind or just stupid?”

I smiled and said: “Neither, ma’am. I just couldn’t believe someone shagged you twice.”

My supervisor suggested retail may not be the career for me.