How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

 I have not started an actual fire in quite a while.  I used to have one of those grills that you would start the charcoal in a chimney with newspaper.  Always had paper on hand since I had parrots to line the cage but it would throw off the burgers if I used it.

And yes, I was not terribly effective in getting that chimney going.  Propane is so much easier.





 A loud pounding on the door awakened a man and his wife at 3 AM

The man got up and found a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push.

“Not a chance,” said the husband. “It’s 3:00 in the morning!” He slammed the door and went back to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife.

“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he replied.

“Did you help him?” she asked.

“No, it’s 3 AM and pouring rain!” he grumbled.

“Well, you have a short memory,” said his wife. “Don’t you remember a few months ago when our car broke down and two strangers helped us? You should be ashamed. God loves drunk people too, you know!”

Feeling guilty, the man got dressed and went back out into the rain.

He called into the darkness, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yes,” came the reply.

“Do you still need a push?” asked the husband.

“Yes, please!” replied the voice.

“Where are you?” asked the man.

“I’m over here… on the swing!”