Wednesday, July 17, 2019

New Black Ice Trail at Pompano Airpark

They have been working on this since April.  Planning stage was of course, before that.

But, it's finally at a point where it's interesting.  It being the trail at Pompano Airpark.

The entire trail is 4.5 miles plus another mile or so on the south side of the park that parallels the main trail. 

For a Biker, that's a bit of a short run.  I used to get in 50 miles in a workout which just was a logistic nightmare, imagine going 11 times around this little loop for a weekend excursion.

I'm surprised when I see joggers running the entire trail in the heat we get here, but then again I used to run 10K at Valley Forge National Park in Pennsylvania so I shouldn't second guess someone else's workouts.

Walkers do segments of this trail as well.  Some even the entire trail. 

I have even seen a few, very few, skateboards but this isn't really their thing.

Well good for you folks, it's a good workout.

Why is this exciting enough for me to ramble on about it? 
Why is this just so totally Droolworthy?

Think about skating in a rink.  If you're on the old school quads, it's on a rink.  Polished floors of either wood or concrete.  Flat as a plank, smooth as a pancake.

Or the other way around.

Point is that it is a very specific sort of a place.

Inline skating is done outdoors.  Usually on some truly horrendous surfaces.  Sometimes on city streets.

You really can't skate on streets in South Florida.  The cars will hunt you down for sport.  Trust me, it has happened more than once to me.

There is a scene of skating at the beach.  Personally, I can't see that, but admittedly I have a different goal when I am out.  Way too crowded, the surface is either textured concrete or bricks.  Can't get any speed out of that.

Now, consider Endurance or Distance Skating.  I used to skate 33 miles, three times a week, all at 15mph average for my workouts.  Can't really do that here. 

However with this trail, I can do some distance.  That 4.5 mile loop I was talking about.



The City of Pompano Beach decided it was time to resurface the trail.  I've skated on worse but I won't argue it could easily have been justified.  I certainly won't miss the divots caused by subsidence at the Four Mile Mark or those repaired strips under the pavement in the second mile.

They're all gone.

It's currently 2.5 miles all in one trail, plus an extra "bonus" mile on the other side of the south side of the park.

But it is smooth.  I mean SMOOTH!  As smooth as some rinks I have skated.  Polished.

Oh sure, it's flat as a pancake just like the rest of South Florida up to Titusville.  I've forgotten what it is like to skate on a hill since I moved here.  But this is like stepping onto an interstate highway after driving off road for so many years.

Must have been.  Every time I checked my heart rate while I skated it last, I was up above 180 BPM because I was skating so fast on it without thinking.



So if you do come to South Florida looking for a safer place to skate than at the beach, bring a lot of water.  They do need to get the water stops sorted out.  A part of the improvements is to add restrooms at the beginning of the trail at NE 10th and Federal Highway.

Besides, that sun is almost directly overhead and in our humidity and heat it gets difficult to make that run between the too few water stops.

But you will enjoy it.  How often do you get to skate black ice for 2.5 miles uninterrupted.

Now when they do the other two miles of the trails, it will be rather nice until the sun eats that asphalt away.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

What kind of wine comes in a Box? Cardbordeaux

Yesterday was animals, and so is today.  Dogs and Penguins!

Oh and it's a two-fer since they're both modestly sized.



A man visits the house of a new acquaintance.

In the gate to the yard there is a "Beware of Dog" sign and he starts hearing barks.
He gets in and locks the gate behind him while he hears the barks getting louder.
Looking all around him he can't see a dog so he goes to the door while the barks seem to get closer.

At the last second he sees a tiny dog where he was just about to step.
Getting in the house he asks his friend "why do you have a "Beware of Dog" sign if the dog is so small"
"Do you know how many people stepped on him before I got the sign?"





So a guy stops at a stop sign and he sees a car full of penguins next to him.

He asks 'What's up with all the penguins?'

The other guy answers, 'I don't know. I stopped at a light and then all these penguins jumped in my car. I don't know what to do with them.'

'Maybe you should take them to the zoo.'

The other guy says 'That's a great idea!' and drives off.

A week later the same guy pulled up to the same light and sees the guy from last week with his car full of penguins again.

'I thought your were going to take the penguins to the zoo?'

'I did, and we had a great time! This week were going to the beach!'

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Why do you never see Elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it.



So walking through the neighborhood every day, I see a lot of dog walkers.  Some are incredibly trained - badly.  Including the Wanna-Be Dog Trainer at the end of the block whose dogs have a nasty habit of leaping the fence and coming after us.

On the other hand, I have met some incredibly well trained dogs.  Rack has a way to go, he's over eager to meet people but does not have a mean bone in his body.

I had a neighbor with a 160 pound Rottweiler that was named "D. O. G."  Yes, It's said that "Dio-Gee".  He's gone now but as a result I have good memories of the breed. 

I bet these folks have the same thing to say about Rotties.





A robber crawls through the window of an empty house.

He begins stuffing jewelry into a pillow case, but is interrupted by a voice saying "Jesus is watching you."

He is freaked out, of course, but decides that checking it out with a flashlight would attract people. He makes a vow that this will be his last job, and continues emptying the box.

"Jesus is watching you." The voice came again, even louder this time.

The robber decides he's has enough, and turns on his flashlight before sweeping it around the room. It eventually came across a beautiful parrot.

"Oi, were you the one talking?" The robber asks angrily.

"Yes. My name is Moses." The parrot replies.

The robber begins to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. "What kind of people name their parrot Moses?"

"The same kind who name their rottweiler Jesus."

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Banana Leaves With A Side of Sparkle

6 months of Desert, 6 months of torrential rain.

That's our climate.  I did see a map once that said that Fort Lauderdale and coastal Broward County are considered a Rainforest Climate according to the Koppen criteria.

It never freezes here, but it gets damn close.

The rains just finally opened up this week.  They got so strong and so commonplace, even though they're late, that my dog is going through Panic Attacks going out at night.

I will say that it's probably due to the combination of Rain, Thunder, and Fireworks that happen this week.  If I had a place way out away from everyone, we would be there.

The nice thing is that when you get up in the morning, the world is washed clean.  You have the streets scoured of anything that was killed on them over the last few months, the dust runs off to the soil, and the air smells cleaner than usual.

Where I am, 2 1/2 miles or about 4 K from the ocean, there isn't much pollution coming from the east.  What we do get are dust clouds from the Sahara Desert.

Seriously. 

As in every time I take the Jeep out I have to hose it down.

As in I just spent an hour dusting the room divider of that stuff.

Going out into the morning makes you see why things are green and lush.  My plants are loving this weather.  I'm liking going out after a rain storm and seeing temperatures edging down towards what passes for cool here.

The plants are dusted clean, and usually there's a mist covering their leaves.

That is what caught my eye.  I was walking around my yard picking up things.  In the corner of my eye, my Banana Tree sparkled this morning.  Like one of those cartoons when you see things cleaned and you hear "ping ping PING!".

The leaves were misted with tiny jewels of water droplets.  Each droplet catching the light like a band of that reflective paint.  Some bending the light and giving me a show.

I've said it before, if you look, you can even find beauty in your own back yard and in your own pots.

In this case, I caught it, even if it did have to be enhanced by the sun in the golden hour after sunrise.

Sunday, July 7, 2019

How do you confuse an idiot? Purple!


A Sunday School Story for Sunday?  Yes, sometimes I actually hit the right day for these things.  I will say I consider myself fortunate to never have experienced that particular form of Indoctrination personally.


But it is a cute story nonetheless.




A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday. He seemed a little depressed, so his mother asked him if something happened in Sunday school class that he would like to talk about.

He told his mother “Well, we were singing songs and the teacher made us sing about a poor bear named Gladly that needed glasses and I can’t stop thinking about him.
She said he was cross-eyed and I feel bad for him.

The mother couldn’t understand why the teacher would teach such a song in Sunday school, so she decided to call her.

To the woman’s amazement, the teacher said she only taught hymns that morning.
Then the teacher began laughing out loud and said to the mother, “I know what Jeffrey’s’ talking about! We learned the hymn ‘Gladly The Cross I’d Bear'”.

Saturday, July 6, 2019

When chemists die they Barium.

While this is a "Wife" joke, and there are far too many of them, I have always appreciated what I associate with Jewish Humor.  There's a certain cadence and rhythm to the joke and a certain understated playfulness in this one.

Or not.  Maybe I'm wrong.  Couldn't hurt to tell a joke, right?    Like the line about Chicken Soup for a cold:  Doesn't help, couldn't hurt.





































































An elderly couple had traveled to Jerusalem.

During their travel to Jerusalem, the wife had suddenly died of heart attack.

The doctor told the husband, "It will cost roughly $100,000 for you to bring your wife back to your own country and hold a funeral there or $100 dollars to hold a funeral here in Jerusalem. Which one do you chose?"

The husband, after hours of thinking, replied to the doctor.

"I will bring her back to my county and bury her there."

The doctor who is surprised at such choice despite the cost, asked the husband why.

The husband replied, "Some long haired dude died here long time ago and came back to life in 3 days, and I'm afraid of, that."


Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Welcome to Florida, we have overly friendly wildlife.

The first time wildlife encountered me was in my very own backyard.

I've been fascinated by the various lizards that roam around the place here.  Standing in the yard I spotted a rather common lizard.  Something scared it.

Might have been me, I have that effect on some people, and some wildlife.

Might not have been.

The lizard ran onto my shoe, then right up my leg.

And up the pant leg.

I've heard of ants in my pants but never a lizard on my lizard.

I've had posionous toads hop onto my foot while I was picking up after my dog.

I've had more Iguanas turn up in the Bougainvillias and Hibiscus in the yard than I care to count.

Nasty creatures, Iguanas.  No reason for them to be here at all.

Seventeen Ducks making more ducks on my front porch.

This was a much more gentle encounter.

A normal five in the evening Dog Walk.  It's been really quite intensely hot.  90 to 95 in brilliant sun.

Walking around the block and heading toward home, a "something" fluttered around my head and landed on my friend's arm.

A rather beautiful Butterfly.  Mostly black winged, some iridescent blue spots.

Basic Black.  Everyone looks better in basic black.

Being a butterfly, it was completely harmless, and it paid a rather long visit walking around my friends T-shirt, up one arm, down the other and hanging out.

As soon as it started it was over when the little creature went on its way.

I guess it wanted a bit of a rest.

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Why do the shoes always lose?! Because of defeat!

Sunday Morning.  Banging my head against Spanish tests on line.  It gets frustrating if the "construct" isn't explained easily enough that you can grasp it.


You know.  It's not Why Can't Johnny Learn, but more like Why Can't The Teacher Make Themselves Understood.

So that may be a bit harsh, but I needed a break.  Screaming at the computer does not help...

But laughing at it does.  








A priest, pastor, and clergyman are sitting in a boat, fishing.

Around 7p.m. , it starts to get dark and the three have to get to shore.
Unfortunately , they hit a rock while rowing back and the boat springs a leak.
The 3 begin sinking.

The clergyman and priest begin freaking out, but then the pastor says, "guys, relax! We have faith in Jesus, remember?
If we pray to Jesus with true faith that Jesus will protect us, we can walk on water!"

The pastor prays, and then gets out of the boat.
The priest and clergyman watch in awe as he walks across the water and safely reaches the shore.

The priest says, "If God protected him, He will protect me, too!".
He prays, and proceeds to exit the boat and walk safely across the water to join the pastor on the shore.

The clergyman says, "Well, if they can do it, I can do it too!".
So he prays, and gets out of the boat, only to begin sinking.

As the priest and pastor watch the clergyman's head become surrounded by water, they look at each other and the pastor asks a single question.

"Do you think we should have told him where the rocks were?"


Saturday, June 29, 2019

A family member told me that my sausage puns are dreadful but I've told wurst.

See here's the thing.  That phrase You Are What You Eat is becoming more and more proven as we go on.  Food here in the US is generally free of strange accidental things like bugs and dirt, but unfortunately is chock full of sugar and artificial chemicals. 



So either make your own from safe ingredients, or suffer the consequences.

Just like this person here.








My friend has intestinal problems.

However, he's found that eating certain kinds of food helps. Normally, he keeps them all to himself, but the other day he got really sick and had nothing to eat, so I offered to pick him up some groceries.

"Sure thing... Could you get some apples, beans, and alphabet soup?"

Now, apples and beans I'd heard help with his particular set of problems, but the soup was news to me. I didn't comment on it at time, though, since I figured he probably just wanted something quick to eat that wouldn't hurt his intestines.

So I go to the store, pick up these groceries, and drive them straight to his house. I go in to set them down, and he immediately asks for some of the soup. I figure the poor guy must be starving, so I go ahead and heat some up and bring it to him.

Soon as I do, be chugs it down and immediately runs off to the bathroom. When he comes back, he tells me he's feeling much better.

"Great news, but how did that work?"

"Ah, turns out I just needed a good vowel movement."

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

The Square Pot, Or How Eric's Planter is Becoming A Herb Farm

A while back, a local friend, Eric, gave me a bunch of planters.

He was moving from his apartment only a few blocks away to another one a little further out.  That old place had a patio area where he could have his planters, and raised an interesting collection of flowers and milkweed. 

I also got most of his milkweed and it's out in my backyard under various cover so that some gets eaten to sticks by hungry Monarch Butterflies, but not all of it.

He did have this one nicer planter.  It is a square on top, almost a cube.  He wanted it back once he landed and since I have the room, I was going to hang onto it for him when he came calling for it.

I did wait a while, but he never asked for it back after settling in.

Typical to my own quirky behavior, if I have a spare planter, it will get used.

I moved it out to my front porch and clipped a few cuttings off my Ruellia.  I have rather a lot of Ruellia, and it does spread somewhat, so there's a small background noise of me cutting plants and debating Throw Or Cut.

This was one of those days.  Smiling I said "Lets make a planter for Eric". 

Ruellia Cuttings will mope and look dead or dying for a month but almost always snap back alive with generous watering.  Just snip the cutting below a knuckle where the leaves come out and you're golden.  The Ruellia was only planted on one half of the planter and I was going to put something else in there.

Basil.  I have a lot of the stuff, and as a result I also have a lot of seeds.  Two weeks later the Basil has started to sprout.

Mind you, I wandered out there looking over the pot a morning later and was having breakfast.  Some Canteloupe with seeds fell out of the bowl and landed in a corner.  Weirdly, the Canteloupe sprouted.

I really have no idea if I will manage to get anything out of the Canteloupe but this weird little garden will be in that spot for a while.   If the vines do grow up and out of the pot, I can let them grow into my garden in front of it.

This all comes from the theory of when something nice happens, even for a small while, do something nice in return.

The other day I contacted Eric and told him this story and he generously told me to keep it as he doesn't have space.

It's taken root here I guess, purple flowers blooming every single day and the Basil that was meant to go into someone else's tomato sauce will go into mine. 

Who doesn't like Fresh Basil!?

So Thanks, Eric, I'm out to put more cuttings in that pot.