Wednesday, March 29, 2017

McNab Dogs Are Just Too Polite

I don't really have a dog.  I have a shadow.

Rack is my rescue.  Actually his full name is Rack The McNab SuperDog (TM).  He told me to put that TM there.  I'm on the fence about that.

Thing is that I'll be in a room doing my thing and I notice he's watching.  The bedroom door is across from the bathroom.  His mat sits there so he can watch both.

I'll get up off my chair doing whatever it is that I do in the course of the day and wander into either room.  Do my thing, and turn around and there's a mostly black with white accents dog looking back under all seeing brown eyes.


If I happen to go into that bathroom in this little house and close the door, and I do close the door if there are other humans here as a polite man is wont to do, Rack will make his presence known.

He's worried that I may Fall In.  I hear paws on the tiles. Walking.  Pacing.  Back and forth.  Too long sequestered, I have heard some gentle little whining at the door.


This particular day was a very active one.  My normal routine was a bit upset.  You see my elbow got hurt.  If you have a foam mattress you may find yourself in the same position.  In my case, I was in a bowl.  Sleeping on that foam mattress, I found myself sinking down into it slowly until when I wake.  My elbow was hyper-extended by sinking so I will try to re-position.  Back to sleep.  Elbow wakes me up in pain again.  It got to the point where my elbows were both in pain all day.

I went to get a new mattress.  It was not an option, but a requirement.

I put this new one on the bed and flattened it out.

Mind you I am a very creative person.  I realized that inside the old mattress was one inch of memory foam and another five or so inches of upholstery foam.  I started carving it into shapes for future pillows and so forth filling the master bedroom with oblongs and rectangular shapes, odd specks of foam hitting the floor and bouncing over the distance to land near Rack's nose.

Yes, he came in and was busy watching me make a mess of things.

I realized it.  He was doing his job.

He also has a bed.  That bed needs to be replaced a good six or seven times over.  Sure, he has mats that I can toss in the washer on Hot Wash Day to kill whatever is inside, but he prefers this slightly bowl shaped contraption that is a hand-me-down from a long since moved away neighbor who insisted that Rack would like it.

I got the bright idea to take some of the smaller scraps and filled the dog bed with it.  Eventually he will learn to like it as he melts over the side in a position that only a Bendy McNab Dog would enjoy.  Never complaining, melting over the side like a Salvador Dali painting of an impossible clock, he would find a new position.

All the while I was breaking the one cardinal rule of having a herding dog.  I was changing routine.  Listening to a radio station called 4TO in Townsville, Australia for their coverage of Cyclone Debbie, they sounded the hour.  I looked at the clock here and realized that it was already Noon.

Lunch would be late.  I had to make a pot of rice and warm the curry.

Putting the rice cooker back on, I looked around and realized that he had moved into the kitchen and was watching for some food. 

"Sorry Rack, chicken makes you sick and this curry has onion in it."

I got a disappointed look and he circled around to lay down, Sphinx-like from the little hallway.

Once the rice was on, I asked "What is it, Rack?  Show me!  Show me what you want!"

Nose in the air, I responded "Sorry, boy not for dogs.  How about something else.  Come here!"

Gently, he padded across the tiles on his cat like feet and wagged his tail at me.  I bent down to his ear and whispered the magic word:  "Yogurt."

Got a solid wag there.  Never a bark, those are reserved for the intruders like UPS Guys and those rather insistent Duck that roam the yard.  I started to pour out the yogurt, he was going to get a treat...

OOPS!  A solid pint of home made plain yogurt?  This should be interesting.

I set him back on his way.  He downed the yogurt as I went back to stuffing his bed.

The rice cooker, later, snapped to the finished position.  I put the curried chicken on top and sat down at the little rolling table.  Rack was well tall enough to be able to bend down to eat right off that plate, but no, he got a conversation instead.

"Rack, you know this is chicken and onion!  Curry is too spicy for you.  Not for dogs, I'm sorry".

I got the most plaintive look back from him. 

"Rack it will turn you into a soft serve dispenser.  Let's not have any of this here."

Sad expectant look walked away slowly.  I was able to finish the plate of Chicken and Chick Peas, Onions, Sauce, Peanuts and Rice without an issue.


Of course he was.  That's his job.  Me.

If anyone tells you that you can't have a McNab dog in the city, just tell them that they simply need a job.  You can be their job.  Best job a dog ever had.

Oh!  And as for the beds?  Both are fine.  My new one helped my elbows out greatly, it's amazing what a good mattress will do for your back too!  Rack is still on the fence about it, but I took a giant cartoonish kitchen knife and cut the foam inserts I made down to one half thickness.  He's on the bed now.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Boston symphony orchestra was playing Beethoven's ninth

The Boston symphony orchestra was playing Beethoven's ninth..

And during said piece there's about 20 minutes where the two bassists (those playing the double bass) have nothing to do.

So, rather than sitting around doing nothing, they decided to sneak out for a drink at the pub next door. After slamming a couple of shots (as bassists are prone to do), one of them looks at his watch and says "crap, we're late!", to which the other bassist responds "don't worry, I tied together the last few pages with string, it'll take the conductor a few minutes to get them untangled".

So the bassists stumble in and take their places as the conductor is untangling the string tying together the last few pages of the music.

This is noted by one the members of the audience, who mentions this to her companion. "But of course," her companion said. "It's the bottom of the ninth, the scores are tied and the bassists are loaded"

Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Tractor and the Farmer's Son

It starts off with a farmer having a young son who is really really interested in tractors.

For his 3rd birthday his father takes him to a tractor show and the boy loves it, he can't get enough of it.
For his 10th birthday his father lets him ride with him on his tractor, again the son is loving tractors, can't get enough of them.
For his 17th birthday the father buys his son a tractor and the son is loving it. For 10 hours, he is riding up and down on his tractor all day at the farm, just before he is about to come home he hits a mound and the tractor flips and falls on top of the son. He was stuck there for 8 hours in the rain before his dad rescued him.

After this he absolutely hates tractors, can't stand them.

So a few months later he is walking down the streets and there is a house on fire and a woman screaming "my baby, save my baby"!
The guy runs up to the door, breathes in and inhales all the smoke and the fire goes out, he runs up saves the baby and brings the baby back to his mum.

The woman thanks him over and over again and asks how did you do it?
The son says:"Oh, it's nothing, I'm an ex tractor fan".

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Docker on Debian Linux - Getting a Canned Container for Wordpress

The Setting for this article:If there is no outside nonsense going on, this is the way that the whole open-source and Docker universe is supposed to work.  You grab a container that has your operating system in it from a repository and run it as needed. 

That means you grab it from the cloud.  When you have it you can do with it what you want and then either save it or throw it away.

All that is great, but it does go against my own Project Management training.  You did not make it so how do you know it does not have any problems with it like viruses or worse. 

So Warning:  Only run a container that you create or one that you know to be safe.

I am assuming that the container I am working with is safe because it is listed as official.  To be honest, I can't say I know enough about Docker and this particular container to say that assumption is true.

The benefits of running a container from a repository:

In the case of this particular one, it saves me a lot of time.
I do not have to create the container, I can just use it.
I can save it on my computer, or not - it is up to me.
I can modify it as I like.

Not a long list, I'm sure you can add other items to it.  It took me about 10 minutes to grab the container and save it to my hard drive.  It takes about 2 hours to install Debian, then another couple hours to install LAMP, and more time install Wordpress... and configuration time.  Someone at Docker did it for me.  This is why containers got popular.  In a large organization, you will have a standard container that gets cloned dozens of times for the designed purpose.

Since we're going to simply use it, here are the steps to get a "canned" container onto your computer for Wordpress.

1) Get your environment ready

Start your Docker compatible computer and make sure Docker is up and running.  A simple command like docker images will tell you the list of images you have available and what they are called.

2) Search the repository for the image you were given

What you need is a list of containers.  These are "out there on the cloud" and available at Docker for you to grab.  They may also be on your own cloud server if you're at a business.  Typically someone will tell you "what to use" to get your job done.

We need a Wordpress image.  You want to search.  docker search wordpress  will give you a list of all images that have wordpress in the name field.  Remember that "case counts" in Linux - all things are Case Sensitive as a Standard.
The one I feel safest choosing is the first one.  "wordpress".  It has an official tag, 1601 stars, and I honestly am simply guessing.  Like I said in my preamble, if you want bulletproof security - create one from scratch.

3) Download the image with the "docker pull" command

This is pleasantly easy.  The image itself is called "wordpress" and all you need to get the latest image is to enter on the command line "docker pull wordpress".  Docker will go out to its repository and make it available to itself.

At this point, you have in your hot little computer's hands a copy of Debian Linux with Wordpress.  If all you want to do is poke around and destroy at the end, you can stop reading, you're done.

4) Verify that you have the image available to Docker

You can easily do this with another docker image command:

Having the wordpress image show on the REPOSITORY list proves things worked.

5) Prove that the image runs in Docker

You have it. Now how do you run the beast? 
First, check that images list.  There is a field called "IMAGE ID" in the list.  That is what Docker knows the images are called.  The Name is just a friendly name that you can change if you have a mind to.
Second execute the container using that IMAGE ID.  You will also want to be able to do something inside, so run /bin/bash as well.  That will allow you to control the container.

For my copy of wordpress the number to run is f6ae044a5122.  The command to run is "docker run -i -t f6ae044a5122 /bin/bash"  Your IMAGE ID will vary based on your list.

Notice that the prompt changes from root@elk to root@f6ae044a5122.  This tells you your computer changed and you are now "inside" the container.  You can enter normal bash commands here. 

I am purposely getting out of the container with an "exit" command.  When you exit the container, it stops.

Finally, I need to know what docker called that container when it downloaded it.  Its name in the "NAMES" field is the key.  For me it is 8bb814e82c48.  I will need this to re-start the container in the next step.

6) Starting your Docker container, getting the container up to date.

 The last step was to get out of the container.  That puts you back onto "your" computer.  You're "local" now.  That is important because you will want to go back into docker to make sure you can.  It is an extra step, but it allows you to be careful.  Following that you will want to update the container.

You first need to start the container.  That is done with the docker start command.  My container is called 8bb814e82c48, and that is used here.  I do this by starting it with "docker start 8bb814e82c48".

It's running but you have to attach  the container.  In this case, I was able to have it drop me into a /bin/bash shell, automatically.  I do this with a "docker attach 8bb814e82c48" command.

Now that I am in the container, I want to update the container to current Debian - get all the software inside the container up to date.  This is done in the traditional way with the following three commands:

  1. apt update
  2. apt upgrade
  3. apt dist-upgrade

Finally it is necessary to get out of the container by entering an "exit" command at the command prompt. 

All except the exit are in the next graphic.

7) Commit your docker container to your local hard drive and give it a friendly name

That's all great.  You have gotten the container up to date.  You need to be able to shut down the computer and make the container available for you when you come back from what ever you are doing out in the real world.  Right?

This is done with a few steps. 

First you need to commit the container and give it a name.  Then you can verify your actions with an image.

Your container is the one you have been working with.  In my case it is 8bb814e82c48.  You need to commit this to the hard drive within Docker on the local machine.  I enter the command "docker commit 8bb814e82c48 wordpress".  This gives the container the NAME of "wordpress".  Terribly generic.  If you are running a couple containers at once, you will want to give it something more specific and meaningful.

Verify that Docker knows that it exists in its own table by entering a "docker ps -a" command.

Finally you can do a "docker images" command to show the list of containers you have access to.

8) Running your local copy of the Docker Container

Now that you have returned to your computer, or have stopped Docker, you are going to want to go through the motions of restarting it again. 

First, the "docker images" command will give you the information you need.  It will tell you docker is up and running, and give you a list of containers you will need to do your thing.  The container is 8bb814e82c48 for me, your number will vary.  This corresponds to the container we committed to disk earlier.

Second, you can run some commands to start the container, attach to it, and verify that it is responding.  To start the container, you enter a command of "docker run -i -t 8bb814e82c48 /bin/bash".  Attach to the container This will also put you inside the container and allow you to enter bash commands.

Finally, you can exit out of the container and go back to your local machine.

This is all listed in the following graphic. 

9) How to actually access this specific container from the Docker Repository

Here is where I end for now.

What you have achieved is to grab a container from Docker and get the thing up to date.  You were able to save it locally, hopefully.  Finally you proved that it is verifiable and repeatable by running it again. 

That gives you a server that you don't know how to use.

I'm in the same boat at this point.  There is a long list of things you can do with the container, if you know how to get into it.  This specific container is a Docker produced container.  They have documented the steps for you to get access to it.

I will be returning to this and producing a cheat sheet in time as I get more used to the whole process.  I'm used to Debian and LAMP and doing it all "live" on a "real" computer (bare metal for the VMWare crowd), but this is still a learning process for me. 

So once I get more helpful information, I'll be back.  After all I have been at blogging since 2007.

The link from docker is here:

Good luck!

Sunday, March 19, 2017

A blonde woman decides she is sick and tired of how all blondes are perceived as stupid.

Yeah, I know these Blonde Jokes all follow a theme.  But... this one actually made me laugh so here it is.

Besides, I need to do some plastering and painting here so it hit home.

A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."

Saturday, March 18, 2017

A Mother is concerned about her son's future

A Mother is concerned about her son's future...

She goes to here priest and says "father, I'm concerned for my boy! He doesn't seem to have any ambitions and I'm concerned he won't amount to anything!"

The father says to her "do not worry, take me to your home and I shall put your mind at ease."

She takes him to her house and the priest asks her son to go outside for a minute.

He turns to the mother and says " now we shall find out what kind of future he will have"

The priest then takes out four items; a dollar coin, a playboy, a bottle of jack Daniels with a shot glass, and a bible.  He then places them on a nearby dresser and tells the mother to hide in the bathroom.

Once in there, the woman asks "why are we hiding and what was with those four items?"

The priest then says "The four items are there to test the boy. If he takes the dollar, then he will be a successful business man but betray all his friends and colleagues just to make a buck. If He takes the playboy, then he will be a womanizer and never show an ounce of respect for women. If he takes the whisky, then he will be an alcoholic and find solace only in the bottom of a bottle. Finally, if he takes the Bible, he will be a man of god and act on behalf of the church."

As the pastor finished his explanation, the son walked in, looking for the two of them. He sees the four items on the dresser, looks around, then stares at the items while his mother and pastor watch in anticipation.

After a couple more moments, the boy moves towards the dresser and makes his choice.

First he grabs the dollar coin and puts it in his pocket, then he pours a shot and drinks it, finally he takes the playboy, puts it in the Bible, and walks out of the room to find his mom and the pastor.

 The pastor is stunned and speechless at what he just saw. Then his mother exclaims "OH MY LORD, he's going to be a politician!!!"

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Homemade Veggie Burgers Can Be Quite Good With This Basic Recipe from Kathie

I've got quite a few projects going on at any given moment.  I also have quite a few recipes on hand.  What happens is that things get set aside, reordered in priorities, and life sometimes changes your plans.

I went for a drive one day and a seam ripped open on the roof of my Jeep.  That can be fixed since the vinyl is still supple.

I was working on a Docker project that hit a wall. 

Then the house "emptied" and I found that I was going to have room to do some of those things that needed doing when there was nobody else here but me, the parrot, and the dog.

At any rate, I found myself standing in the kitchen and remembering a conversation with my godmother Kathie.  She's vegetarian, and I am not.  Now, I will eat vegetarian meals, but they have to come up to my Foodie Standards.  After all, I was brought up on home made Lasagne and Baked Ziti.

What I wouldn't give to be in the kitchen listening to Mom and Aunt Betty bicker about what goes into the Saturday morning spaghetti sauce for that night, and Sunday night's dinner yet one more time.

Kathie and I were talking about how I would pack what the office called "Weird Food" for breakfast.  It had to be high protein, low carb, and low fat.  I was on a training diet for my skating, and it meant that I was constantly hungry and pumping food into my open gullet.  She reminded me that I could eat vegetarian foods, and I lamented that they typically are more expensive than the meat based diet that we're used to here in the US. 

Case in point were the veggie burgers that I would have with breakfast.  They were about $10 a pound where beef burgers were around $3.50 a pound, and chicken breasts can be found as low as $1.50 a pound at a restaurant warehouse store I shop.

She shared with me a recipe that she had kept for a while and I put it in my phone where it rode around until I could put it all together.

The recommended beans are black beans, and I substituted Refried Beans.  That was the trick.  The Refried Beans are a paste that are mildly seasoned, depending on the brand.  Along with the other spices, this made a burger patty that tasted mildly Mexican, and seasoned.  You would not know there isn't beef in it, although you may realize that it isn't pure beef.

Ok, I'm being generous, but these were good!

Served on the homemade bun with cheese and a slab of tomato, I actually enjoyed this and didn't miss the $10 a pound veggie burgers.

Since the can of refried beans were only $.99 at Trader Joes, the entire recipe was about $.30 a serving.  Plus a roll.  About 150 calories maximum if you are counting.

The trick is that you have to cook these until they firm up or else you end up with a rather interesting bean and oatmeal paste that breaks apart annoyingly.  The Refried beans were a bit moister than the recommended pre-cooked black beans that would be mashed.

Enough of my own blather here you go with the recipe:


  • 1 pound cooked Beans.  Canned, drained, and rinsed or Refried Beans - to taste.
  • 1/3 cup Quick Oats
  • 2 Tablespoons Ketchup
  • 1 Tablespoon Yellow Mustard
  • 1 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder

    Preheat oven to 400F

    To Food processor, add all ingredients and mix until almost smooth.
    Mash beans until almost smooth like I did in a mixing bowl.

    Divide into four parts and shape into patties.

    Bake for 10 minutes on Baking Parchment Paper or foil.

    Flip all patties

    Continue baking for 5 minutes more or until desired firmness. 

    Outside should be crispy.

Note that this recipe with refried beans took longer than the suggested time by a significant amount.  I cooked them for 10 minutes and flipped every 10.  Recipe was done to my taste by about 35 minutes.

Patties may be reheated in a skillet with a little oil for added flavor and texture.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

A Baker's Dozen of Bad Jokes

What do you call a moving nun?
A Roman Catholic

500 Bricks On A Plane
Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left?
A. 499

Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. Open refrigerator, put elephant in, close refrigerator.

Q. What are the 4 simple steps of putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. Open refrigerator, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close refrigerator.

Q. It's the lions birthday and he invites everyone in the jungle. Everyone turns up but one animal, what animal is it and why?
A. The giraffe, he's in the refrigerator.

Q. Sally is an explorer. She is walking through a jungle when suddenly she comes across a crocodile infested river. There are no bridges over it. Sally swims over and is not bitten by a single crocodile. How?
A. All the crocodiles are at the lions party.

Q. Sally dies anyway, why?
A. She is hit in the head by a brick.

I heard you can determine the gender of an ant by throwing it into a pool.
If it sinks; girl ant. if it floats; boy ant.
(if you repeat it enough times out loud you'll eventually get it)

When you have a pillow fight with a memory foam pillow,
that's a pillow fight you'll never forget.

How did Bill Gates come up with the name Microsoft?
Ask his wife.

Don't you just LOVE whiteboards?
I find them to be remarkable!

Did you hear about that kidnapping?
It's okay, he woke up.

What does the military use acid for?
To neutralize the enemy base.

Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the bar?

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other
How do you drive this thing?

Only telepathic people will understand this pun.
I'll see myself out.

Why did the squirrel leave the tree?
Because it died...
Why did the bird leave the nest? Because it died...
Why did the dog drop his bone? Because it died...
Why did the man leave his house? Because everything was dying in his yard and he said "fuck this, I'm out before I'm next!"

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Thirteen Bad Jokes, and Maybe a Good One too

Bunch of scumbags stole 20 crates of Red Bull from my local store...
I don't know how those bastards sleep at night..

I called the police to report my toilet had been stolen
they said I had nothing to go on

Why does everyone stay away from 288?
It's just two gross

My friend threw a can of coke at my head today...
Luckily it was a soft drink.

Imagine if it had been a hard liquor
Liquor? I barely know 'er!
Jokes on him. I like Pepsi

What do you call the teachings of a duck?
A ducktrine

I was told I was a schizophrenic...
Me and the voices in my head disagreed.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Control freak.

Have you seen the documentary on camouflage?
Nope, I can't seem to find it.

Sir John and Chung Lee walking in front of the Buckingham palace
Chung Lee says: "When I see all these flags, my heart fills with joy!"
Sir John:"But you are a Chinese national only visiting the United Kingdom, how so?"
Chung Lee:"Did you ever read the labels on the flags?!"

Why did the single parking attendant cross the road?
To get to meter

Job Interview
I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me".
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I said, "$200 and it's yours".

...always take things literally.

Why did Phillip cross the road?
To fill-up the other side

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Docker on Debian Linux - Why and The Install of it All

If you want just the instructions, Skip to the break.  This is here basically so that I can do this again later.

The setting:

For almost all of what I do, I run Linux.  Specifically Debian Linux. 

It runs much faster, has most of the same programs you're used to on a Mac or a Windows PC, and is about as stable as an operating system can be. It can run some Windows programs in Emulation (WINE) but that's not the point. I've got what I need if I stay within Linux, natively.

Some Debian Linux computers have "uptime", time since they were last restarted, in years - not days or weeks. 

I update things when I want.  I make things how I want them.  I change things how I want.  If there is one thing about Linux that Mac and Windows users don't get to do is customize things the way that they want. 

The backstory:

My blog resides in two places.  On and on a Wordpress hosted site at as a backup.

I really don't care for how my Wordpress site looks, so I want to change it.  Being someone with more years in IT Software Development Project Management than I care to admit to, I will do it "offline" and not on the live site.

Furthermore, I have a client in Los Angeles.  His website was developed on Wordpress by me, and I have a backup.  I'm finished with the site, but I thought it might be "fun" to see if I could get it to work here on my own computer.

The reasoning:

My own main computer running Debian I am happy with.  Actually that is an understatement.  I don't want to slow it down by loading up server software, a LAMP stack, and things to slow it all down.   I could create a VMWare or Virtual Box virtual computer and do the LAMP stack there, I've done that a couple times before, but running a full VM for something like this felt "overkill" and "heavyweight".

What Docker Does:

Docker will allow me to share some of my computer by running a pared down version of Linux inside what they call a Container.  It is not a full virtual computer, so it should run faster, and since it is not a full computer it will not effect my apparent speed - in case I forget to "turn the damn thing off at night".

The Goal:

Get a Docker Container up and running.  The container will have a web server and Wordpress software running configured for my use.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Thirteen Bad Short Jokes

Guaranteed to make you groan somewhere!

I found a girlfriend who's into bees.
She's a keeper.

Why is a calculator my best friend?
Because I can always count on it.

I hear Kim Jung-Un has read every book ever written...
That's why they call him the Supreme Reader.

What did the scientist say when he got hit with gamma waves?
Ouch! That Hertz.

Mom: Son, why don't you talk to Steven anymore? You used to be best friends!
Son: Well, would you talk to someone who is stupid, does drugs, and is an alcoholic?
Mom: Of course not!
Son: Well, neither would he.

I had to write an essay on plagiarism today
I couldn't think of anything so I just copied the guy sitting next to me

I just burned 2,000 calories.
That's the last time I burn brownies in the oven while I nap.

Why do birds make good presidents?
Because they have both a right wing and a left wing!

My wife found a constitution under the bed
She doesn't believe that I just read it for the articles.

Three men are standing before The Pearly Gates...
One a tramp, another a teacher, the other, a lawyer.
St. Peter says - To enter, each of you must answer a question.
So he asks the tramp - "Which year did the Titanic sink?" Fortunately, the tramp has seen the movie, and answers correctly, "1912".
He's allowed to enter.
Then the teacher. "How many people died?" The teacher, specializing in history , answers, "1503".
He too, is allowed to enter.
Then to the lawyer. "Name them".

What do they eat in South Korea?
Seoul food.

How did the chocolatier escape police custody?
He had a few twix up his sleeve.

What do you call it when a clown does something nice?
A kind jester.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

An Old Man And His Wife Had Been Married For Many Years

An old man and his wife had been married for many years.

In their later years, they were tired of each other and were always grouchy.

For all the years they've been married, the wife would always make the man eggs for breakfast.

One day she set the plate in front of him and they were over easy.

The man looks at the plate and gets angry and says "I didn't want over easy I wanted scrambled!" But ate them anyways.

So the next morning the wife made scrambled eggs and set the plate in front of him.

The man looks down and says "I didn't want scrambled, I wanted over easy!" And angrily ate them.

So the next day, the wife decided to make one egg scrambled and one over easy.

She sets the plate in front of him, and he looks down at the plate and after a few seconds says "you scrambled the wrong one!"

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Wilton Drive At Sunset and a Conversation About Docker And Other Computer-y Things

So what about Docker?
What do you mean, what about it?

Have you gotten anywhere with it?
Oh that.   No, haven't started.  It's going to be a series of articles when I get started anyway.  It has to be.

Why a series?
Docker being what it is will need one to set it up, another to actually use the beast.  And besides, it's for my Linux audience anyway.  Us weirdos out there in the One And A Half Percent Of The Market that realize that my 5 year old laptop on Linux is faster than your brand new one out of the box.

Yeah Yeah Yeah.
Less Microsoft DRM Crap means a better experience.  Besides the only thing I ever do on Windows these days is write the blog and that's only because I have more disc space there to store all my photography.

True but you have Linux tools to do Photoshop, right?
Yes.  GIMP and Inkspace run natively, and I can run Irfan View under emulation on Wine.   I really do not need Windows at all.

So why not migrate?
The Windows machine has a bigger screen.  It's 15 inches, and the Linux machine is 12 but much faster with the same resolution.

Yeah yeah yeah...
Stop.  I have a picture to take.

Even Rack stopped faster than you did.  Never mind that.  Hold the leash, look West down the Drive. 

You're right.  Nice view. 
I'll get a few while I am at it.

Like you said, the best use anyone ever got out of a Parking Meter is to use it as a camera mount.
Yep!  And with me using a phone as a camera, it needs all the help it can get.

The silhouette looks like that shirt I had for years.
The one of the Key West skyline?   You know that was a test shirt.  A Mistake.  It was meant to be multiple colors and they only got black on it.  I liked that shirt until my weightlifting made my chest too large to get in to it.  Wear it in good health.

So, that Docker Thing?
Yeah.  Installing it is trivial.  A couple commands on the Linux Command Line, then edit the .CONF file to configure it, then start the container install.  I guess I can get that much done by next week.  Over a beer.   Did I tell you that I did my best coding on a Friday Afternoon after a Guinness and a Roast Pork Sandwich?

Many Times.  Don't forget the horseradish!
That reminds me, I still have that in the freezer.  About 3 pounds of Pork Loin.  Will you ever try that?

Didn't think so.  Ok, lets get the walk done, I want dinner.