Wednesday, November 30, 2022

How Shipping Boxes Taught My Old Dog A New Trick

I am not completely convinced that internet shopping is better than going to a mall or a local store, but I do know Rack prefers it.

When we get things delivered, they have to be inspected by Mr. Dog.  Everything brought into the house gets a thorough sniff.  I have to blame for this particular quirk.  

My own boxes come and they are typically only casually looked at.  However Rack is a very smart dog.  He knows what His Things smell like.  I get a powder that gets mixed with water and ground beef and it makes dog food.  It’s considerably safer than anything in a can or a bag from the market, and I do think commercial dog food is garbage, irrespective of the advertised quality of the food.

There is only so much you can do with the "floor sweepings" that go into pet foods after all.

On the other hand, we do get things from Chewy.  Specifically his flea meds.  They come in an iconic box with a blue side and the company is kind enough to toss in a large dog cookie.  He’s a medium dog so so much the better, he gets multiple treats!  

The large bones they toss in the box can be broken up.  I won’t tell him he’s getting half, only that he can enjoy two treats.  He prefers things that way and can go through the ritual of the hunt at least twice.

These boxes do have a dog cookie scent to them by the time they get to my porch here in South Florida.  A Pro Tip – only send chocolate in the coldest part of the winter.  Otherwise, the “cold” days of December being as warm as mid 80s (30C) will melt things down.

I take out of the box what has arrived, and now I have a dog at my feet staring up at me with twin brown laser beam eyes.   A quick flip of the wrist and the cookie pieces are broken and put back into the box.  The box lid is closed without tape by folding and placed on the floor.

The last time that happened he pushed his snout through the middle of the opening of the top  of the box and had it stuck there.   Dog Logic being what it is, he was jumping on his front feet trying to knock this thing off his face and not having the best time of it.  

Bounce Bounce Rattle Rattle Thump!  Shake Shake Shake Shake Shake!
Bounce Bounce Rattle Rattle Thump!  Shake Shake Shake Shake Shake!

Finally after laughing, we take pity on him and take it off his head.  He has not quite gotten the idea that he is actually ALLOWED to put his foot on the box to hold it in place.   Say what you will about him, but Rack the McNab SuperDog(TM) has impeccable manners.

The fun thing of this is now we have a new ritual.  It keeps his mind going and anyone who knows a herding breed dog knows that you truly have to work to keep their mind occupied.  If not, bedlam will ensue.

So toss a cookie in the box and fold the lid back in place.   Should last a minute or two of fun before he gets bored with it and wants to deal with a different shiny object.

Sunday, November 27, 2022

What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

 This just has to be another Bill.  It really does not sound like something I would do.  But well ya know how these things are, they get "fictionalized".

Still a good story...

A modern day ghost story

Bill was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a fierce rain storm.

The night was rolling on, and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few meters ahead of him.

Suddenly through the swirling rain Bill saw a car slowly coming towards him.  And as it drew level with him, it stopped.

Desperate for shelter and without really thinking about what he was doing, Bill got into the back seat of the car and closed the door.  That was when he realized there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't even on!

Mysteriously and soundlessly, the car started moving slowly forward. Bill looked at the road and saw a curve approaching.  Now he was scared, and he began to fear for his life.  But just before he reached the curve, a ghostly hand appeared through the window of the car, and turned the steering wheel.

Bill, paralyzed with terror, watched how the hand appeared every time they came to a curve.

When he saw the lights of a pub down the road, Bill gathered all his bravery and strength, jumped out of the car, and ran to to the pub.

Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and asked for two shots of scotch.  Shaking and half crying, he began telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just been through.  A silence enveloped everybody when they realized he was not drunk, but was for real.

About 10 minutes later, two guys walked into the same pub. They were also wet, and were out of breath. Looking around and seeing Bill sobbing at the bar, one said to the other, "Hey Bruce… that's the idiot who got in the car while we were pushing it."

Saturday, November 26, 2022

Never date a radiologist, they will see right through you.

Here in South Florida it's a beautiful day.  The snowbirds have not crashed the party too hard yet, and it's a pure blue sky.  Clear as a bell. 

So why am I hearing some booming?


An unhappy couple go to a marriage counselor

He tries to work with them, but they absolutely refuse to talk about anything in front of each other. The counselor gets fed up, gets his bass out, and starts playing it.

The couple sit there looking at each other dumbfounded. The counselor keeps playing. After several minutes of this, the couple starts making small talk with each other. Pretty soon they're deep in conversation.

At the end of the hour, the counselor puts down the bass and the couple turn to him, and say “Doctor, that was amazing! We haven't talked like that in years! How did you do it?"

“Ah" says the counselor "people always talk during the bass solo.”

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Inline Skating or Cycling and Ceramic Bearings in Sport Equipment or How Some 30 Year Old Advice Is Still True Today

Picture from

Once upon a time I was having a conversation with Tom.  Tom was on the Inline Skating team in Philadelphia at the time, and Fairmount Park was an amazing place to get in a workout and get tips from others in your sport of choice.

My sport of choice was Inline Skating because I had become too muscular through weightlifting to be able to run the kind of distances my body really wanted.  Inline Skating offered a way to get in that cardio buzz everyone knows and loves without shocking your knees into a powder.  It is non-impact, as long as you don’t fall.

The conversation was about Skate Bearings.  It stuck with me.  You see there were three kinds of bearings available.  There were also different grades of bearings that were more or less processed to be smoother or less smooth.  The smoother the bearing, the faster they would spin.  In those days the top end was something called an ABEC 5 bearing, and today you can find vendors who would sell things like an ABEC 9 bearing – which does not really mean anything since the official scale only goes up to 5.  Marketing garbage.

Anyway, Tom was telling me a few things, at the time a new skater who was starting to get better at this sport than I was when I started.  I was beginning to transition to Distance Skating which was what he did and he noticed.  He also noticed that I blazed through a puddle just before parking on the bridge over the Schuylkill River overlooking Boathouse Row near the Art Museum.

Truly a beautiful spot.

First and foremost, never get your wheels wet.  Never.  Water will displace your lubricating oil or grease, and rust out the steel in the bearings.

Then it was a discussion on the construction of the bearings themselves.  Back in those dark ages, 1995 or so, bearings for the Inline Skater were almost always made of steel.  They would call it “Stainless Steel”, and I think the quotes had to be there because Stainless Steel won’t normally rust.  So if your bearings rusted, they were either garbage or they were not really a high quality Stainless.

There were other materials used but for a mid distance, non Sponsored skater, they were a rare and expensive thing.

Tom spoke of “Ceramic Bearings”, and back then they were what we now call Hybrid Ceramic because “Pure” Ceramic Bearings were almost impossible to source.

Hybrid Ceramic bearings were a world apart from even the best stainless bearings.  They were constructed from an inner ring, outer ring, and 7 ceramic ball bearings set in between usually with a teflon or nylon crown to keep the bearings separated from each other.  These days those expensive high end Stainless bearings are running about a quarter a piece.  $20 for the set if you can find them in bulk.  This is the basis for the attitude from some Currently Sponsored Skaters that it is not worth your time to clean and re-lube your bearings.  But back when a single bearing cost about $5 and a full set of 20 was as much as $100, the old timers were absolutely rigid about keeping things dry and lubed.

These days, a Hybrid Ceramic bearing tended to be made of better quality steel for the two rings that the races were made from in a conventional one.  I had gotten caught in a downpour once and radar told me that it would continue to rain for at least an hour.  I was 2 miles/3 Km from the car so I skated slow and hoped for the best for my Hybrids.  I was lucky.  When I got home, I immediately washed out the set, dried, relubed the bearings and am still able to use them a year later.  They are a little slower than the newer set I tried yesterday but not by much.

But about those “Pure” Ceramic Bearings?  Tom never saw a set.  He got out of the sport before they became available.

At this point, the costs have dropped on “Pure” Ceramic bearings to the point where I could justify getting a full set.  20 bearings for $65 or so on a sale.  My own Sponsorship came and went just after the turn of the century and the collapse of the sport so these are on my own dime.

Pure Ceramic Bearings are where all parts are ceramic.  The outer race and inner race rings are ceramic.  All 7 ball bearings and the crown are ceramic.  White Zirconium Oxide (ZrO2) if you must know, and there are other materials used in this market.  

Pure Ceramic Bearings don’t need lube to keep them going, and you can de-grease them to get rid of the road grit, then run them through the dishwasher (if you can get away with it) so getting caught out 2 miles from the car in a downpour won’t kill them.

They are lighter, but for an Inline Skater that isn’t really important.  But for the most important part, they are more durable, lasting as much as 20 times longer than a steel bearing set.

I finally got my hands on a set and I will say I am impressed.  They glide smoothly and silently, and strangely they sound like a wind chime when you hit them just so on the pavement.  It implies that within the Skate Frame, they’re moving around a bit, but I am still figuring out how to use these things.

Mind you I have to rework my skate boots.  They are brand new, and there’s a spot inside the boot itself that has to be heat-molded to my own ankle geometry.  That’s another story for another day.

But Tom, you were right.  You were always right when it came to Skate Technology, and while I’m still in the sport, and it has changed, you helped me in ways you will never know.

On Yer Left!

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Why do most employees get sick on work days? Because of their weekend immune system.

 Hmm... that can be seen a bunch of ways.  Oh well, it's meant to be "silly".

And since we are on bodily functions...

The Polite Way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?

Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

The teacher fainted

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Little known fact, before the crowbar was invented… Most crows drank at home.

I'm finding my like of absurd and the strange caught my eye this morning.  So let's see, Policemen, Blondes, and Detective work... what can go wrong?


The 3 detectives

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds” . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!"

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

How To Test Your Bike Computer Or An Excuse To Get Ice Cream

"I already have one sport, it's mine, I'm "Elite" at it, I don't need another."

"Go Ahead, You already have the bike and you're climbing the walls from the injury..."

It went on from there.  I had finished an inline skate marathon, my fifth, and then broke my collarbone.  Again.  Second time on that one. 

Bad.  Etc.  I'm not going into that.

My doctor, my friends, my Orthopedic Surgeon benched me.  Again.

Into the healing process, I was told by the Ortho, a very good one truth be told, that I can begin to exercise again.

More like "I can see you really want to get started again but no skating ... yet."

A back and forth and he said "See if you can bike".

With admonishments to "Be Careful for crying out loud!" from him, and everyone else, I started to bike. 

Now Back In The Day when I was a sponsored inline skater, the Bikers were a problem, to put it kindly.  They resented anyone on THEIR trail.  Shaddap, ok?  Besides little man-child I'll throw you and that toy you are zooming around into the Schuylkill River...

I'll tone it down, that was a generation ago.   I got the dusty old bike out of the shed, tuned it up as best I could, and got back on the thing.  Oh sure, I did it, but I felt like I "Let Down The Team". 

But I got better at it.  Then I realized I was overpowering the bike.  I got a new bike because the old one was hurting my knees and having gone through sports medicine training and rehab, I surely did not want to do that.  I knew the symptoms intimately.

"Besides, knowing you, you will want to build the thing to fit you."  I was told.

I briefly considered building one from scratch, ordering parts and wrenching them all together.  No, that would be too complex.  The technology of bikes had changed as much as had that of Inline Skating. 

I can give you chapter and verse on why you want a Ceramic 608 bearing on your skates instead of steel, or at least a Hybrid Ceramic, and where both fit in the pecking order.

I could not tell you a bit about how to properly adjust a derailleur, let alone install a front, a back, and route cables.  I had to leave that to the pros.  Here I am six months together and I am still getting things "settled" on that bike.

Complaining about that process got me "You are handy, figure it out, besides, you will want to get some things for the bike anyway, so work up an order."

Yeah well right.  Mirrors, lights, clamps for flashlights, seat, mount for the GoPro, travel bag with more lights, mounts for thermos bottles.  Yes everything was plural.  I had about as much light coming off that bike as I did my old Motorcycle.

Summer I biked.  Too hot to do so after sunrise, this is Florida after all, I basically lit the road up with a Lane Finder light plus twin headlights.  All before dawn.

When I was given the all clear from the Ortho with "Go live your life", I started skating again, but kept the cycling.

My sport watch and heart monitor told me all this cardio was helping my resting heart rate drop into the mid 50s.  Not bad...

As I was riding I wanted to know how fast I was going so I would look at that watch - and veer into traffic lanes. 

I needed a bike computer.  I needed to know my speed while going.  Runkeeper synced up with the sport watch but I know my own athletic prowess well enough to know that when the little man on Runkeeper was telling me that I was biking at 18MPH, and my heart rate was 72, he was wrong about the HR.

The bike computer arrived and since I wanted it only for my speed, I did not need a connection to the bike itself.  GPS is quite good enough.

Since the bike computer attached to the frame of the bike with neoprene "rubberbands", I disconnected it and told the story to those around me.

It was Sunday, I was going to break training since I had ridden a nice solid 20 miles.  Burned off anything I had for breakfast and lunch, we could do anything we wanted for dinner.

Ice Cream!  For Dinner!  YAY!  Carbs!!!!

Yeah well just not when I have caffeine in me.  I'm intense enough with caffeine and sugar feeding off each other.

We took the little bike computer with us, turned it on and set it on the dashboard.  The car had a digital speedo on the dash, and my computer sitting there.   They weren't perfectly in sync, there was a lag on the bike computer but it proved to me that they were accurate.  Within a few seconds.


When we got the ice cream, super premium soft serve with caramel, whipped cream, peanuts, and a cherry on top, the computer sat there and powered down to a rest.   Just as expected after fifteen minutes, it considered it enough time and the display went dark.  I turned it back on just as we were leaving and the workout was still in progress.

So we did a tour of Fort Lauderdale, the industrial area around the Airport, up to the hospital, and through downtown to the house.

I had a winner.  I also figured out that the computer was accurate, enough, for use.

While I am flying up and down the main street in my town, I can glance down and see that the numbers are changing. 

In fact the only quirk I found was that when I peaked over my speed limit I set of 20 mph, the thing beeped at me and told me that I was going 32.4kph.  Doing the math in my head, it's a programming error on their part.  If you select "imperial measurements" everything should be in imperial.  MPH, feet, inches.  Meh.  I can live with it. 

I set the speed limit higher.  The only speed limit I break is when I bike through the school zones.  15mph is about where I cruise when I'm taking it easy.

Better off that I am biking later and that school zone limit is not an issue, huh?

Sunday, November 13, 2022

I haven’t slept for 10 days because that would be too long.

 Since I woke up at 445 AM, I thought that would be appropriate, Right?

Smokey the Bear was relaxing in his new house.

He'd just moved to the neighborhood, and was enjoying retirement after years of working for the U.S. Forest Service. He was sitting in his favorite easy chair, reading a particularly engaging book, when the doorbell rang.

Smokey sighed, set the book face down (his sister was always so mad at him for doing this as it ruined the spine, but seeing as this was essentially the latest in a series of airport bestsellers, he didn't feel like he was damaging anything particularly worth saving)(though he had to admit it was pretty compelling, if a bit tawdry) and got up to answer the door.

When he opened it, there was a ram standing there, with a stack of fliers in his arms.

"Hello sir or madam would you like a- OH! It's you! You're Smokey! I love your work!"

"That's quite alright, thank you," Smokey said. "Now what can I do for you, young man?"

"Oh gosh, I'm so flustered," said the ram. "I never expected to see a celebrity on my first day!"

"First day of..." said Smokey.

"Oh! Sorry, yes!" the ram stammered. "My sister and I just opened a new flower shop down the street and I was just handing out these brochures and it would just mean the world to us both if you would take one!"

Smokey looked down at the coupon in the ram's hand, then back up to his face.

"Sorry, kid. I'm not going to take this."

The poor ram was shocked. "You're not?"

"Now, if your sister was here, I'd accept it from her, but not from you."

"Whu– but– I don't understand! Why my sister?"

Smokey got a serious expression on his face and looked the ram dead in the eye.

"Only ewes can present florist fliers."

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Soy Milk is just regular Milk introducing itself in Spanish

Ok, so this... reminds me of a T-Shirt.  "20 bucks is 20 bucks".

I cleaned that one up a LOT.  This one not so much, did not have to clean anything but I did laugh out loud when I read it today.

Mike and his wife Sara went to the state fair every year, and every year Mike would say, "Sara, I'd like to ride in that airplane."....

Sara always replied, "I know, Mike, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

One year Mike and Sara went to the fair, and Mike said, "Sara, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."

Sara replied, "Mike, that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."

Mike and Sara agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was spoken. He did all his tricks over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Mike and said, "My, my, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Mike replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Sara fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Hurricane Nicole Prep, or Bahama Shutters Down Means Weather Is Coming

My own theory of Hurricane Prep is pretty simple.

Do it every day.

No, seriously.  Why keep putting junk piled on the ground in the corner?  Why let your plantings get out of control?   Oh and if you are in an area where the power goes out, get a generator.  FPL Sucks.

When we moved here to South Florida, we knew that this area will get hit.  I sat in my house on top of a Hill in Philadelphia and watched as Katrina inundated New Orleans, as Wilma went across South Florida as a back door storm, and I remember driving over the area that Andrew hit in Homestead in the 90s.

I was driving to the Florida Keys to Key West about six months after the storm hit Homestead.  Really, truly, freaky coming to a stop sign where a stop light should be and seeing the street numbers painted on a street where there were no houses for blocks.

You really don’t want a storm like that hitting you.

It could have.  After moving here, I have been told many times that “Andrew would have hit here if it weren’t for a last minute wobble in the storms track”.

So I put down my shutters on one side of the house.  I also threw Aunt Betty’s plastic furniture into the pool.  When she was closing up her place in Century Village to live back in Noo Yawk on Lawn Guy Lant, she made sure that I took it.  I’ve had it on my porch ever since because it looks good there.  

She made me promise to keep it clean for her and a dip in the pool twice a year does that well.

At this point, on Tuesday, the storm is supposed to make landfall as Hurricane Nicole around Fort Pierce on Wednesday evening.   They are saying that the wind field is extra large and will give us Tropical Storm Force Winds as a result.  It has been a day since I started puttering around on all of this including this blog, and the track has not changed.

I went through that with Hurricane Irma.  It was not a big deal here, 66 MPH winds with 99 MPH gusts.  I sat in this chair that I am writing from and watched the big tree across the street, 30 feet tall, sway in the breezes.

10 meters of Florida Native Tree that needs to be trimmed survived the rain well.

As time went on, we replaced windows with hurricane glass, replaced the roof and brought it up to Code – Miami-Dade code.  The house is a bunker now and we get a preferred rate on our insurance as a result.

If your home is in the cross hairs of this storm, good luck, just go and pick things up since it’s too late to put up a new roof.

But yes, the main thing is really just hoping it hits your neighbor and not you.  I’ll be watching my neighbor because his house is nowhere near as well built as mine.  If his roof ends up anywhere, I hope it is not on mine.

I’ll let you all know how it goes, a Tropical Storm force wind is strong but survivable.   I won’t get worried until I start hearing Category 2 or 3 or that train sound that says there’s a tornado approaching.  Tornadoes are a very different beast as my cousin in Nebraska will tell you.  The first few minutes of the Wizard of Oz before it turns to Technicolor… yeah well different story.

In the mean time, if you have relatives in Florida, check up with them.  I’d say Saturday will be soon enough.

Sunday, November 6, 2022

How Did The Frog Sell A Million Books? Because his story was so ribbiting!

I am with the witch.  I drive a 20 year old Jeep Wrangler and it has a Stick.  Then again, if I hit the powerball, I'm having it converted to Electric.

A witch was flying on her broom when she noticed that all the witches she passed were flying on vacuum cleaners.

She thought to herself, "Am I the only one who still drives a stick?"

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies, "Autumn."

An old snake is feeling his age.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine, doc. I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

Saturday, November 5, 2022

My pet snail lost his shell. He's looking a bit sluggish.

While I am getting frustrated with software that does not do what I think it should, I am feeling generous today.  So today I have a foursome of funnies!

And if you are the programmer who decided that a text box can't be a simple text box any longer, I hate you.

Mom, Why is your hair turning grey?
There was once a naughty little girl who was always getting in trouble and she asked her mother one day "Mom, why is your hair turning grey?"
And her mother replied "Every time you do something bad, I get another grey hair." 

The girl got a puzzled look on her face. A moment later, the girl starts chuckling.

"What's so funny my dear?" her mother asks to which her daughter replied,
"Thinking of Grandma's hair made me realize that you must have been a really bad girl!"

A guy walks into his local bar with two dogs.
"I didn't know you had dogs," the bartender comments.
"They're not my dogs," the guy replies. "They're my sister's."
"Wow, your sisters are ugly," the bartender says.

On my first day of flying lessons, I looked down anxiously and asked my instructor, “What are all these buttons for?”

He said, “Those are to keep your shirt closed.”

At a party, a young wife told to her husband: That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?

Husband replied: Why should it? I keep telling them it’s for you.”

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Pulled Pork Slow Cooked In The Oven Recipe

Fear not the pork shoulder, gentle soul, for we shall take you for a walk through for some truly excellent food.

I am breaking this recipe into bite sized pieces.  Rub, Brining, and Cooking.  Hopefully to make it easier to prepare.  Basically three separate steps.

You make the rub first to complete the brine recipe.
You brine the meat to make it juicy, up to 48 hours.
And you cook the meat low and slow to make the magic happen!


1 4-7 pound whole Boston Butt Pork Roast with the layer of fat on the bottom.
Mine did not have the bone-in however that is what most recipes called for.

The Rub:

I have seen a dry rub of spices and sugar used in many recipes.  This seems rather nice, it’s kind of inoffensive.  I have tweaked it from where I found it, basically because I don’t care for heat.  Originally this called for 1 tablespoon of Cayenne, I used ½ Teaspoon.  Mix this up and reserve 3 Tablespoons for the Brine.

Ingredients - Dry Rub:

  • 1 Tablespoon ground cumin
  • 1 Tablespoon garlic powder
  • 1 Tablespoon onion powder
  • 1 Tablespoon chili powder
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper – to taste.  Recipes do go up to 1 Tablespoon
  • 1 Tablespoon salt
  • 1 Tablespoon ground pepper
  • 1 Tablespoon paprika
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar


Pork is an incredibly tender meat when cooked Low and Slow.  This recipe called for a soak in the refrigerator for a minimum of 12 hours.  I gave it 24 hours, simply because I could not fit the timing in.  It’s Tuesday Afternoon and I am writing this as I finish preparing it, the brining started Sunday night!

So maybe the saltiness of the finished meat was partly due to that, but this was some of the most tender pork I ever had.

I do know that making a brine of 2 quarts of water plus ½ cup of salt plus 3 tablespoons of the dry rub spice mix was called for.  Next time though I will twiddle with the salt levels since I just don’t care for the flavor of salty foods.  You decide.  I have seen recommendations to use half the salt I use here.  ¼ cup salt to 2 quarts cold water.  16 parts water to 1 part salt, plus your spice mix.

Ingredients – Brining:

  • 1/2 cup salt
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 2 quarts cold water
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 3 tablespoons dry rub mix

Process - Brining:

Find a pot that is larger than the Pork Shoulder by a comfortable inch all around and at least 3 inches deep.  Add the water to the pot, then the salt, and 3 tablespoons of the Dry Rub to the pot and mix until dissolved.  Place the Pork Shoulder in the pot fat side up.  Put the pot in your refrigerator and give this at least 12 hours to soak.

The Cooking:

Cook until internal temperature reaches 200F. 90C.  I have a temperature probe on my oven, so when 14 hours came to pass I was at 185F.  I turned the oven up from 225 to 250F.  If you have the luxury of time, check your results and adjust.  I have also seen comments that this kind of recipe really should be done in a smoker.

Process – Cooking:

  • Remove the meat from your brine and pat dry.
  • Rub the spices on the entire Pork Shoulder and place on your baking pan that is 3 inches deep and comfortably an inch larger on all sides.
  • Make sure your Pork Shoulder is Fat Side Up.
  • Place the Baking Pan and Pork Shoulder in the oven and turn it on to 225F.
  • Cook the Pork Shoulder for a minimum of 14 hours – or until the internal temperature of 200F/90C is attained.
  • Turn off the oven.
  • Leave the Pork Shoulder in the oven until the meat temperature drops to 170F.
  • Remove the Fat Cap and discard along with any parts that are purely fat.
  • Shred this to your heart’s content.
  • Enjoy!

The Meat:

I used Pork Shoulder without the bone.  I did not find any real benefit in paying for a soup bone I would never use.

The Results:

I ended up with a pulled pork that was melt in your mouth.  I came home after a workout, the oven was beeping that I was at temperature and immediately I took a small taste.  Then another.  I ended up eating ½ pound of the stuff before I realized that I should stop.

Yeah, it's that good.