Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Easily Fixing the Pressure Washer Surface Cleaner That Won't Spin

Standard Internet Warranty Applies:  Anything I say here is opinion, it worked for me, and you do all this at your own risk.  However I have done this many times, it just works.

If you are uncomfortable with your own skills, go buy a new one.

I ran into this problem on the second use of my Pressure Washer Surface Cleaner.

In my case it's a simple fix.  I have a properly sized Surface Cleaner.  The pump is 2000 PSI, the Disc is 2000 PSI maximum.

Symptoms were when I got water to the cleaner, it spun a few times, then stopped while pushing water out of the nozzles under the disc.  Stopping and starting the flow might get a few spins but it was not going to spin past that.

Before you proceed, make certain that all your water lines and filters are free and clean of any grit.

The fix for me was to disassemble the mechanism, clean it, use some light lube on it, and reassemble it. 

The mechanism was held in place by a brass bolt with channels for the water to go through and "rubber" O Rings to keep the water from leaking out. 

The shaft went out in two directions from the center to the nozzle.  My nozzles can be removed and cleaned by removing the "silver" clips from the ends and washing them in warm soapy water.

In my case, the center shaft was the problem.  I had to clean it, and the white plastic washer, of any sand and grit.

The center shaft was removed with a 12 MM crescent wrench.  Since it is brass and the body of the surface cleaner is a rather soft plastic, take care not to over torque or over tighten the bolt - turn left to loosen, right to tighten and replace.

Remember: "Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty".

Once you have the bolt in your hand, wash in warm soapy water, along with the washer.  

The impeller arm in the center has surfaces that will need to be cleaned in the same manner, either with a brush, towel, or dipping into that soapy water.

Remove each piece from the water and clean them to remove any old grease or dirt.

I lubricated the white plastic washer with a little tri-flow because it felt like there was a lube on the mechanism when I took it all apart the first time.  I used the tri-flow because I have used it many times on my skate parts, and it was on hand, but you may use your judgement on that.  

You will want to use a light oil here because once you have done your surface cleaning, it will wash out.  In this case, that is a benefit, because the servicing is so easy.  Tri-Flow does not stay put on my skate bearings when they get wet, and they won't stay on this mechanism after a use - and that is the behavior you want.

Reassemble the mechanism the same way you took it all apart.

Sunday, June 27, 2021

Why does Microsoft Flight Simulator look better than Real Life? Because I have bad eyesight.

 I am that person in a crowd that has to shout to be heard.  I'm fairly willing to sit back and listen to everyone else make a fool of themselves, but damnit it's my turn. 

It's all rather weird since I am physically imposing, and have a booming voice, but please folks, for the sake of the rest of us, listen before you open your maw and step on top of someone.

Little Johnny - Daddy's car in the woods

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..."

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save! the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army." Mommy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

Saturday, June 26, 2021

What happens if you press the brake and gas of the car at the same time? The car takes a screenshot!

 Think about that one for a second... And while we are on the subject of cars... I used to tell a version of this joke all the time.  I Knew people who insisted that they did this sort of driving and it always got my pedantic side going.

A highway patrol officer...

A highway patrol officer pulls over a car going 35mph on the freeway. He walks up to the driver and sees a sweet old lady behind the wheel. Patrol officer asks the old lady why she was driving so slow, and the old lady responds that she was sure she was following the speed limit. She gestures towards the sign on the side of the freeway. The officer looks up and realizes the sign read as “I-35”, indicating that the freeway was named “Interstate 35”.

The officer laughs and explains what the sign actually means to the old lady and that the speed limit is actually 75mph as designated by another sign a few hundred feet away. The old lady blushes out of embarrassment and giggles and apologizes for her confusion of the signs. The officer peers in the passenger and back seat and sees three other passengers in the car, all trembling and white as ghosts.

The officer asks the other passengers if everything is okay, and why they looked so terrified? The passengers stayed quiet for a few seconds, and one old lady in the back quietly mumbles “sorry officer, it’s just that we just took the exit off of I-290”

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Propagating Romaine Lettuce on a Dish or Does Anyone Want A Teeny Tiny Salad

I did this as a laugh.

There are all these helpful hint sort of pictures of things flying around.  How you can have infinite vegetables but you just have to jump through hoops.

First of all, the hoop I have to jump through is to make sure that the iguanas can't get to my plants.  It's Florida and we're infested with these ugly green dinosaurs that don't know how to share.  If we have any sort of plant and they get to it, they will leave you with nothing.

If I get to the iguanas, I have a few dark thoughts for them.

So planting these in the garden is a non starter.

However, Onions work like the Lettuce does, and Iguanas seem to ignore Onions.  Lop off the greens, use them in your salads, and stick the root in the soil.  Wait and you have more onions.

I had incredible luck with Green Onions or Scallions.  

As in Scallions the size of a golf ball.

So now, on Aunt Betty's plastic table on my porch I have a pot.  It has a single Romaine Lettuce growing out of some soil.  I thought that it would be a bit more Lizard Proof than if I stuck the silly things in the ground.

All you need to do is to eat your salad, and leave about 1-2 inches of the hard white core for propagation.  Shave the brown bottom off the end of the stalk, and keep it wet.  When it begins to grow, put it in a pot.

Since I live in Florida, and house plants are a stupid idea unless you like hosting Ants, I have to figure something else to do.

The other problem I have here is that that plate of water will host Mosquitoes, and doing that inside your kitchen is not something you want.

It takes about a week to get some growth and these are about two weeks along.

I have a salad about every other day so you can see the growth pattern of these weird little things.

Mind you that this is "Bolted" Lettuce.  It is trying to go to seed.  You will not enjoy this romaine since it will be bitter, but I will grow it to seed.  Why? 

  • I am curious.
  • I am stubborn.
  • I have never seen lettuce flowers.

Finally, I will save the seed and grow it later in the year when the conditions are more amenable to getting Human Grade Food.

You see it's too hot for the little things and they are trying to go to seed and flower.  It is late June at this writing and it is already into the low 90s peak afternoon.   In fact, I was out having a workout yesterday and had to cut it short by a couple miles because I had run out of ice water and was really feeling "punished" by it.

If I am wilting, I'm sure my Lettuce will feel the heat too.

No worries, I'm fine with it, but if you want a Teeny Tiny Salad, wait for the cooler weather

Sunday, June 20, 2021

My best friend David has his ID stolen. Now he's just Dav.

It is Sunday Morning when I am writing this.  

This is the day of the weekend warriors.  Someone goes out and does what they have to do outside the house, move some things in the garage, bike some distance, cut some brush, take out the trash.

Monday is the day of the pain killers, at the best.   Or they end up in an ER because they are immobilized because they are a weekend warrior.  

So I will put on my Coach's Cap and tell you that cross training is really important. 

This dude... he's taken the weekend warrior to the extreme. 


The sailor and the pirate

One day, a sailor met a pirate. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eyepatch.
The sailor asked the pirate, “How did you get your peg leg?”
The pirate replied, “Aargh, a whale bit me leg off.”
Next, the sailor asked, “How did you get your hook?”
The pirate replied, “Me crew was in a battle with an enemy ship when me arm was chopped off.”
Finally, “the sailor asked, “How did you get your eyepatch?”
The pirate said, “Aye, a seagull pooped in me eye.”
The sailor asked, “You lost your eye to bird poop?”
The pirate replied, “It was me first day with the hook.

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Three things that never lie... Drunk men, very young children,....and yoga pants.

Happy Pride.

And a Thoughtful Juneteenth.

And now something for those of us who really aren't paying attention.  Remember, fellow babies, if you aren't the customer, you are the product.

The devoted wife

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband.

When he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came out of coma, he motioned for her to come closer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

"When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you gave me support.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side.

He put his hands in his suit pockets and says "You know what?"

"What, darling?" his overwhelming wife wife asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Orchids by the Shed

I guess you could call this picture Just Something I Like.  

We're having some work done on the property, specifically to prepare for the oncoming Hurricane Season.  That big grey tree trunk on the middle of the frame there... that has to be shortened.

It is a massive, 30 foot tall Sea Grape tree, and it needs to be lowered to about 20 feet.  10 meters plus down to about 7 meters.

Give or take a CM.

Weird tree, you cut one limb and it considers that a challenge.  Now you have a wrist where the tree decides that to show you up, it will grow a hand.  Ignore the hand and now you have five or more limbs growing where it can be as thick as a man's muscular leg from the same spot.

Plus it looms over that shed.  With the pool to my back, it has to be groomed so that it is not growing under the pool and lifting the thing up.

Not so much a tree as a weed.  On Steroids.  Even if it is native, it needs to be in harmony with its environment.

But the spot is pretty, the orchids seem to like it there, and lowering the tree gives me an excuse to build a Pergola out of some white plastic pipes I have.

I'll be moving those orchids to a safe place later this week so this reminds me how I have everything before then.

The staghorn fern will probably not like things.  They will burn in the Hot Florida Sun, however this was just a little sprig originally that someone left out on the curb "free to a good home. I guess this is a good home!  The orchids will too if not protected.  I guess I have a lot to do!

The idea of having Orchids strapped to the side of things is pretty common here.  It's pretty common in the tropical jungles where they normally grow.  I have been lucky with that spot.  These plants are under a metal overhang, sheltered from the weather, and on the drip feed irrigation.  They're also sheltered from the Iguanas that are invading.  Since these plants grow so slowly, I do have to worry about having some sort of prehistoric creature coming in and turning my garden into a Caesar Salad.  They don't share.

At any rate, they are there and this picture tells me how to put them all back when the tree gets lowered.

Sunday, June 13, 2021

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

Remember, some of life's toughest problems can be reduced beyond comprehension to others.  You know the trick, they don't.

A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule"  as well as a code device called an "abacus" that he claimed was a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values".

"They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we've determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."

As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Why should you bring a leopard to the gym? They're good at spotting.

I think this guy at the wedding... could use a spotter.  There's something going on here!

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer.

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor, and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passes the minister a $100 bill and walks away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and hisses, "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor puts a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispers, "She made me a better offer."

Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Exercise Workout? I propose the Mango Per Mile Measurement.

The funniest thing about this revelation is that I am really looking forward to Mango Season ending.

Yes, I am a bit over the moon about the fruit but in two months they are just everywhere

Last night a person walked onto my porch and left me a bag of six "museum quality" mangoes.  Perfectly ripe, perfectly fragrant, perfectly tasty Mangoes.

I should know, I had one for breakfast today.

And that's the weird thing.  You see I measure my exercise and the calorie burn.  I mean obsessively.  I have since I got into athletic training and "fixing" my self after accidents and childhood.

It was to the point where Humana Healthcare stopped recording my workouts yesterday on their go365 program.  Oh sure it starts again today but it is an amusing brag to say that I had a health insurance company tell me I workout too much!

Got skates?  Join me at the park!  Woo!  15.2 MPH on Skates is Fun!

So the long story is that through the health insurance plan that we have, if I consent to have them watch what I do, they throw a nickel to a dime at me at the end.  By their measure, I have five workouts per day.  Three dog walks, a step count, and yesterday I skated.

I think my "audit" of their "audit" of my activity is a bit off but you get the picture.

I use Strava to record our walks around town, and Runkeeper to record my inline skate workouts.  Both of those programs will report my calorie burn, and I burn a LOT of calories.  Runkeeper does not measure inline skate calories accurately, Strava is perfect on dog walks.

In fact, I have been tested at 140 calories per mile.  So for 14 miles, that's (math) 1960 calories per workout, plus change for rests and water stops.  Call it 2200 calories.   More if I have a great day and extend it, and I have.  It also varies due to conditions of my own gear and weather.  You get the picture, right?

It works out to a skate workout being 130 ounces of Mango.

14 miles is about 1/2 of what I used to do each time, and doing that gave me 100 miles a week across the training regimen.  Wake, walk, lift, work, walk, skate, sleep.   Kind of repetitive.

I have to fuel up between so basically I'm constantly eating.  Carbo Load!  Time to nibble!  Get Out Of Jail Free Card for the second piece of chocolate cake!

Mentally I am keeping a calorie count, an approximation actually, as I go through the day.

When the house wakes up, we go for a dog walk, and this being mango season, there are these monster trees dropping one pound plus fruit.  I see one and the reaction is always the same... "OOO! I Shall Call You Breakfast!".

I get home and turn off Strava and check the calories burned, yes, one dog walk is approximately 10 ounces of Mango at 17 calories per ounce of chunks.

Add a little yogurt for protein, some banana, honey, cinnamon, and make a smoothie.

Two to three weeks a year the calories I take in are the equivalent of the mangoes that I collect on my dog walks. 

Lets see... a mile dog walk is 170 calories, 10 ounces...

Well thankfully I can go back to a normal breakfast soon.   We went to the big market over the weekend and there is some wonderful "Seafood Spread" waiting to be married to some bagels that are in the freezer.  Add tomato and onion, and you get the picture!

All these nickels and dimes add up.  We are using it constructively.  In order to perform all this OCD measurement silliness, I have to have the right equipment.  A Bluetooth chest strap to monitor heart rate is needed for my skate workouts.   I limit my speed to a specific 175 BPM heart rate peak, and to go slower than 155 BPM Is boring.  The strap talks to the phone.  The phone talks to Runkeeper and I have a voice in my head telling me that "You're Doing Great, Champ" or "It's All You" or other things that I have told people that I train or train with.  Every minute or so, his voice comes on the headphones and tells me my stats, and most importantly the HR at the end.

I get back to the Jeep, sit on the bumper, get out of all of my gear and tell Mr Announcer that I'm done.  He gives me a "Hmmm, What are we gonna do, go for a sandwich?" and I'm done.  Post workout reward is four butter "sewing kit" cookies that taste like heaven after all that.

All at about a mango a mile.


Sunday, June 6, 2021

My wife? It's difficult to say what she does... She sells seashells on the seashore

A man walks into a bar, sits in the middle of the counter and orders a beer.

He drinks his beer quietly and then asks how much he owes.

The bartender says, "$3."

The man puts a one-dollar bill in front of him, gets up, walks to the left end of the counter, puts down a one-dollar bill, walks to the right end of the counter, puts down a one-dollar bill and walks out of the bar.

The bartender is surprised, collects the three bills and tries not to think about it any more.

The next day, the same man enters the bar, sits in the middle of the counter and orders a beer.

He quietly drinks his beer and then asks how much he owes.

The barman answers: "3 dollars", a little anxious.

The man repeats the same scene as the day before. One bill in the middle, one on the left, one on the right and he comes out.

The bartender's a little upset, but he's seen more.

For the next few days, the same scene repeats itself every day. The man walks in, drinks his beer, puts a bill in the middle, one on the left, one on the right and then he leaves.

The bartender becomes more and more frustrated, he finds it harder and harder to hold back.

One day, when it's time to pay, the man searches his pockets for long minutes and ends up taking out a $5 bill.

The bartender thinks he will explode with joy when the man puts the bill in front of him.

He opens his cash register, puts down the $5 bill and pulls out two singles.

The bartender goes to the left end of the counter, puts down the first bill, walks to the right end of the counter, puts down the second bill and comes back in front of the man with a broad smile.

Undaunted, the man puts a dollar bill in front of him and says, "Can I have another beer?"

Saturday, June 5, 2021

I have a fear of speed bumps..... but I am slowly getting over it.

I promise you there is no inline skating content here!

But since I skate circles around a golf course as often as possible, I think this is a riot and I can see these people chasing each other in a golf cart, doing this sort of thing.

It pleases my inner pre-teen, but you may not want to tell this one to your "Maiden Aunt". Rated PG-13.


A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him, so he walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole and you’re a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.”

He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached the lady, again with the same request.

She said, “I’m on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th.”

Once again, he thanked her.

He finished his round, went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar.

He went up to her and said, “Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help.”

He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did.

She said she was in sales and he said he was in sales also.

He asked what she sold.

She replied, “If I told you, you would only laugh.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” he said.

She said, “I sell tampons.”

With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.

She said, “See, I knew you would laugh.”

“That’s not what I’m laughing at!” he replied. “I’m a toilet paper salesman, so I’m STILL one hole behind you!”

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Keep Right Except To Pass meets Entitled Clueless Karen on the Workout Trails

The funny thing about this was I was originally writing this as a lead-in to a joke on the weekend.  It ended up being a piece about the park.  I did leave the joke in at the end, it's not a long one.

As the world is slowly picking itself up and getting back to normal, so am I.

I was recently back out at the park skating a slow workout.  After all, wiping out and ending up in an ER in the best of times is a bad thing no matter what things are like. 

That aerobic burn is a great thing, puts me in a good mood for the next couple days with a great runner's high.

The problem is that while I am a big guy, the trail is cramped in corners. 
Oh, and the culture of entitlement has hit outdoor exercising just like it has everywhere else.  You know, that mindset of the rules are for other people?

Basically, if you are walking three across and filling the entire multipurpose trail, I hate you.  

Keep right except to pass used to be posted on all the highways when I lived in New Jersey

I have been gone for almost 15 years, but I bet you could still find one of those signs if you tried hard enough.

Here I was near the end of the workout.  I wasn't particularly moving all that fast.  I "drive" the trails, since I know them so well.   Avoid the divot at the 4 mile marker.  Hit the bench at the 3.5 mile marker next time past for a water stop.  Make sure you step over the rough pavement when you merge at 3 mile marker.  Surf the off shore wind if you're going West.

That kind of thing.

Coming into a blind curve, I dropped the speed down to a trot and rolled around the corner. 

Just down the trail was a pair of gym bunny types.  I'm fine with them, in their place, but if you are putting your ... "bulk" across the trail, the etiquette everywhere I have ever seen is to announce your presence, keep to the right, and be aware of your surroundings.

In the case of Pompano Airpark, it is Literally Posted On Signs.  In fact, it was posted right where this all happened in full view.

Slower Traffic Keep Right.  They were across the trail with a small gap to the left.  Time for a snap executive decision.

I come around the corner and say, loudly "On Yer Left!" since they were on the wrong part of the trail.

One Clueless Karen says to the other Clueless Karen "Oh!  We have to move" and grabs the other by the elbow.

... and pushes her into my traffic lane.

Mind you at under 100 KG and 193 CM plus skates and helmet I look like a wall moving along.  All in "High Vis" colors and sweat.

I hear a squeak from Clueless Karen as I bellow "NO!  KEEP RIGHT! OFF THE TRAIL!"

My brakes shriek in protest as I slow to a walk.

At that particular spot, the trail is bordered by a metal cyclone fence.  The other side of the asphalt that is about the width of a broad sidewalk there is a hedge.  Chock full of semi sharp edges.  Pointy bits left over from when the rather good landscaping crew came through and trimmed last Monday.

I see a pile of Neon Fabrics and semi-overweight Karen fall into the hedge with a louder "OUCH!".

I suspect a lesson was learned, I never saw those particular people back.

Oh, Well, Shrug. 

I chuckled to myself once I calmed down and thought about this story.

A man was driving home from work when he got a call from his wife...

“Be careful, honey,” she said. “I saw on the news that there’s some idiot going the wrong way on the highway that you take to get home.”

The man was confused.

“What do you mean?” he said. “There isn’t one person going the wrong way, there are hundreds of them!”