Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Growing Ginger in Containers or How We Stumbled Upon A Thing

I say Stumbled Upon because like a lot of my ideas, it was due to a rapid fire exchange of ideas with a
From the Wikipedia.com article on Ginger
https://en.wikipedia.com/wiki/ginger
good friend of mine up in the Atlanta suburbs, Craig.

You see Craig and I have been exchanging ideas on what to plant for a while.  The Climate there is about the same as I had in Philadelphia, Zone 7a or 7b depending on whether you live on the East or West of Philly.

When I lived there, I would fill my back deck with dozens of pots that would all march their way indoors by Halloween or whenever the first cold snap into the mid 30s would happen.

That would be a low of 2 or 3 C for the Fahrenheit Impaired.

Apparently with Ginger, you don't have to be so concerned.  The plants will die back in colder areas and Zone 8 should be fine - that's 10F or about -7C.  Colder than that and it's a container plant.

I had mentioned that we were given a pot of Variegated Ginger and wondered if it was the same "stuff" that I use when I stir fry chicken.  He said No, but you can grow that stuff from the stores.

We banged it back and forth and the method we put together was this.

  • First, get yourself a piece of ginger with a lot of "fingers" on it. 
  • Select a finger about the length and size of the first joint of your thumb to the length of your thumb.
  • Wash all the pieces you wish to plant in Dish Soap thoroughly.
  • Don't bruise the skin while washing the pieces.
  • No, you didn't wash it enough, repeat the wash another two or three times.
  • Plant in well drained soil, or a pot, and wait.
  • Water periodically and hope that the Squirrels don't put peanuts in the pot.

The reason why I mention those damn Squirrels is my neighbors feed them raw peanuts.  They grab the peanuts and bury them in my pots.  I have peanuts growing in about a quarter of the pots I have out back.

It is the same thing with me, I guess.  I'm the kind of guy that throws pieces of tomato or fruit that is past its prime in the garden and watches to see if it grows.  Win-win, if it doesn't I get fertilizer for this beach sand we call soil here.

I had actually forgotten that I put those thumbs in the ground in my front garden because when I walked out there one afternoon, I noticed that two ginger plants were mixed in with all the other confusion that I have out front.

I dug them up and then put into a pot, minus the peanut plants, so I could watch over them.

Ginger does not seem to mind being crowded in a pot, so you can plant it and grow it "Up North".

Now, if you live in a zone that is on the edge, like my sister does in Zone 7b Cherry Hill, NJ, you may be able to "get away with it" in the ground.  Find a south facing wall of your house.  Plant close to the foundation because the sun hitting your walls will warm the soil just a few degrees, and it may be just enough.

Here, 8 miles south of the freezing temp lines, I don't have to worry at all.  But as always, your mileage may vary.

Why would you bother?

My friend Craig got further along than I did with this.  Of course you can go to your favorite market and buy ginger root, that's not the point.  The point is that the flavor of absolutely fresh Ginger Root is much more complex than some that has been shipped, treated with anti-growing chemicals, and sitting in the store waiting for you to use it.  Any natural product will taste different depending on where it grows.  In fact, certain plantings in certain fields in certain farms will yield different results.

Oh and the green parts of the plant?  You won't find those in stores, but Ginger Greens and Stems are edible as well.  They can be tough, so you may limit that to tea or used in soups or stirfry but it's worth a shot.  You may find a new favorite. Chop fine until you realize your own way of using them.  You will have a lot since the plant grows waist high.

That is called the "Terroir" by the French and is used to describe the effect of the environment on the grapes that go into the wine.  Similar effects happen with Coffee where one specific estate on one specific mountain will taste different than the adjacent field because there's just a tiny difference in the amount of water or sunlight or ...

Well you get the idea.

So give it a shot, the worst thing that could happen is that you get a "pretty plant" and a great story to tell the
nosy neighbors.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

I've been watching a cat documentary today. It's on paws.

An Excellent Vintage.

A drunk walk into a drugstore and asks for a bottle of mouthwash.

"I’m not selling you that," says the druggist. "You’ll drink it for the alcohol and get sick outside my door!"
"Not true!" insists the drunk. "I have my first date in over a year, and I want to make a good impression."

"Oh, I’m sorry. Here." The druggist takes a bottle of mouthwash off the shelf and puts it on the counter.
The drunk stares at it. "Got one that’s been refrigerated?


Ok, so these blond jokes are just as dumb as they try to make someone out to be with that color hair, but, I couldn't resist...


Blonde walks into a library and says "I'll have a cheeseburger, fries, and medium Coke."
Librarian: "But ma'am, this is a library!"
Blonde: Oh I'm sorry... (whispers) "I'll have a cheeseburger, fries and medium Coke"

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Calculators are reliable. You can always count on them.

Here are a couple of short-mid sized jokes for you to try on for size.  They made me smile, so maybe you will too.


The Mystery Kitchen Utensil

My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen.

The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale.

It’s a pooper-scooper.



If light travels faster than the speed of sound
Why I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?


A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”



My wife and I went out for a leisurely drive to see the autumn leaves, when we noticed that one of the tires seemed to be getting low…

She was a bit taken aback when I asked her for some change and asked, "Why in the world did they start charging for AIR?!"

I looked at her and winked, "Inflation."

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Bougainvilleas and Bananas on Thanksgiving

On this week before Thanksgiving, there is a lot of "Prep Work" to do.

The hedges get cut back,
House gets cleaned,
Shed gets cleaned,
Yard gets cleaned,
Well, you get the idea.

I would say this is where the law of unintended consequences happens.

While I don't have a good definition for it, I can explain it really well in one short phrase:

Never paint your kitchen.

Why?  Because then your cabinets will look shabby.  You then have to replace them.  While your kitchen is gutted, you look at your oven from the last decade and think this would be a good time to do it.  Maybe swap out the electric range for a gas or propane one.  After all, being able to cook indoors is good for emergencies.

You get the idea.

So we got started.  Actually we started a while back before the hurricanes hit South Florida and cleared out the shed.  That gave me the open "16th Puzzle Piece".

I talk about this often.  There is a game that has 15 square pieces.  Usually has numbers on them.  There is one piece missing, the 16th Puzzle Piece.  You slide the pieces around to get them out of order for someone and then hand it to them to "fix".  I guess it was a Rubix Cube before there were any.

I often joke that I feel like the 16th Puzzle Piece.

It makes me feel like a banana.  Or this banana leaf, you never know where they will crop up.

Once you have managed to go out to the shed to get that piece you need to fix something that just broke, you notice the yard and the plants and take a pause.

But there is rather a lot to get done.

Also remember, the dog lives here and you don't.   Different lecture but the tumbleweeds under the AC Intake that the dog left there need to be picked up reminding you that you need to replace the filter bag in the vacuum and no you can't just pull the old dirt out and dump it into the trash because that bag had that done once already.

It's a process.

But I will say that if you are reading this and your Turkey is still frozen, you may be out of luck.

I can help but I am not guaranteeing it will work...

Place your wrapped in plastic, frozen, and un-thawed meat (Turkey, Chicken, Beef, it doesn't matter) into the sink that has been thoroughly cleaned and plugged up.  Fill the sink with tap water.  It does not have to be hot, and it won't be for long.  Submerge that package of meat/poultry/frozen stuff in the water.   Check back in an hour.

The water will speed your thawing up.  It's of course at your own risk so make sure it isn't in there longer than you need it to thaw and it does not spoil.  The good thing is that it is faster and safer than leaving a frozen block of dinner out on the counter overnight.  But you do need to use your own judgement on how long to keep it in the water bath.

At least that one hour will let you vacuum the dog or the cat fur out of the kitchen and maybe even let you scour the bathtub.

Isn't having guests a pain in the tail?

Speaking of guests and pets - remember don't let anyone feed traditional Thanksgiving food to the dog.  Raisins, onions, and many of the herbs and spices that are in that feast will sicken or kill your dog outright.  Better to stick with their dog food if there is any doubt.


And no matter how much they beg, no Onions for the dog.

When you're through with all of that and the meal is done, you can start on the wiring in the backyard.  You really did want to get the low voltage wiring run the 100 feet from the front yard to the shed so you can see inside the thing, didn't you?

Ok lets just skip it and hit the Chinese restaurant for some Curried Chicken instead!  They're open, aren't they?

Sunday, November 19, 2017

My neighbors are listening to good music whether they like it or not.

Traveling Salesman

A traveling salesman is driving down a deserted country road when he has a blowout.

Not having a spare he finally finds a house and asks the lady if he can use her phone to call for a tow-truck.
As she opens the door for him to come in, a Three Legged Pig runs out. 

He asks "why does that Pig only have three legs?"
She says that they had a fire and the pig woke everybody up and then went back and brought the dog out.

He said "but why does the Pig only have three legs?" 
She said well another time my son was playing on the ice and it broke and he fell in and the Pig ran to the barn and got a rope and saved him.

Again he asked "why does the Pig only have three legs?"
After all the Pig did for us, it didn't seem right to eat him all at once.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

A Dad is washing a car with his son. The son asks: ‘Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?’

Till death

So imagine a world where a person dies, goes to heaven, and gets a vehicle based on how faithful they were to their spouse.

Three men all die at the same time and are sentenced to their vehicle along side one another.

The first man: He was faithful to his spouse every day of his life and never even thought of another woman, so he was granted a brand new Corvette to drive for all of eternity.

The second man: He was a very good man. He Had one moment of weakness and cheated on his spouse but was forgiven and continued to live a life of faithfulness afterwards. For this, he was granted a used Ford pick-up truck to drive for all of eternity.

The third man: This man was intolerable. He had cheated on his spouse every chance he had gotten. For this, he was sentenced to drive an old beat up junker for the rest of eternity.

A few days later, the man in the junker glances down the highway and sees the man in the Corvette crying! The man pulls pulls up and proceeds to ask,
"Why are you crying? You have a wonderful car to enjoy for the rest of eternity! What could possibly be so troubling?"

The man in the Corvette turns and answers in a sobbing reply,
"I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard..."

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Popcorn Peanut Brittle with Chocolate Chips

I got hungry.  This happened.  Tasty too!

Actually this had been in the back of my mind.  Something similar to any one of dozens of commercial Popcorn Peanut Toffee candies.

And boy is it good.  Just be careful, it's not exactly a light dessert.

I followed my own recipe for Peanut Brittle, then poured it over some pre-popped popcorn.  But in case you want a recipe, here goes.

Popcorn:

  • Get a cookie sheet and line with Parchment Paper or Foil.
  • Lightly grease it.  (Optional).
  • Pop one bag of microwave popcorn or loose popcorn to cover the cookie sheet one layer deep.
  • Put the popcorn on to your cookie sheet.
  • Add two ounces of chocolate chips to the top of the popcorn, evenly.

Next:  Make Brittle.

Full recipe is at this link, but I will repeat it here after the process for this step.

4 ounces of cleaned and skinless nuts.  I used unsalted peanuts.
2 ounces/4 tablespoons of butter at room temperature and sliced into thin pieces.
1 cup of sugar.
2 ounces of water.

  • To a cold 2 quart saucepan, add the sugar and water.  
  • Stir the ingredients to mix.
  • Turn on heat Medium High to High.
  • Boil until the mix turns "toffee colored"
  • Add the nuts, stir, and count to ten.
  • Add butter.  The butter will boil immediately.  Stir 
  • Remove from heat and pour over the popcorn mix.

Serve:  Allow to cool fully, break into Bite Sized Pieces.

Oh! and all of it is 1400 calories plus your popcorn calories. 

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Which side of a leopard has more spots? The outside.

Since I'm putting this together early and am waiting for the pizza crust to rise a bit, he's some cheese for you!


Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory?
Da brie was everywhere!
Gouda thing nobody was hurt!
Did anyone else notice that things like these are becoming more and more provolone recently?


A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"
The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."
The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?”
Boy nods, "Exactly!"


Britain's oldest woman turned 114 today
When asked the secret of her longevity, she attributed it to taken a walk at midnight every night. When quizzed on whether she was concerned about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not, and would continue mugging people as long as her health holds out.


My girlfriend is turning 32 soon...
I told her not to get her hopes up. "After all," I said, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute." When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This is your thirty-second birthday."

Saturday, November 11, 2017

What's the difference between a superhero and a professional wrestler? Superheroes fight for a just cause; wrestlers fight just 'cause.

Happy Veterans Day.  11/11/1917 at 11:11AM.  Someone with Clock OCD said we all stop fighting at that time, instead of stopping immediately. 


And speaking of time:


A lawyer died and was standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter said, "you can't come in here... you have to go to the other place".
But the lawyer was really good and pleaded his case to the point where St. Peter said, "OK... here's what I'll do. You will spend the same amount of time in hell as you did on earth, and then you can spend the rest of eternity up here."

The lawyer figured this wasn't too bad of a deal, so he said "OK".
St. Peter said, "Great... I'll see you in 350 years.".

The lawyer said, "But, how is that possible... I'm only 65 years old!".
St Peter said, "We go by billing hours".



Furthermore, Brains:



Scientists removed the right half brain of a man and then, they asked him to count to ten. 
The man counted, "two, four, six, eight, ten." 

Then they put the right-half back and removed the left-half, and again asked the man to count to ten. 
The man counted, "one, three, five, seven, nine." 

The scientists then removed both halves of the man's brain, and asked him again to count to ten. 
The man said, "look, we're gonna count to ten. We're gonna count. Because I know numbers, I have the best numbers. All the politicians in Washington can't count to one-believe me, I've counted to one many, many times. They said we couldn't count to ten. Well, I'm beating all of those people in the polls. We're gonna count to ten. Everybody, count to ten. Okay? And let me tell you - let me tell you something. I will be the best counting President God has ever created. We are gonna count to so many tens, I tell you. Look at that!"

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Debian Linux Stretch - Backup or Restore Your Blog or Website Into Your New Server Using Blogger or Wordpress

Writers will understand this.

Have you ever meant to write something but had no idea what to call it?  This is where I am at.

Basically these instructions will work with Blogger or Wordpress.
It will work with any operating system because both of those are Cloud based.
Wordpress may be "local" or on the cloud.

I tagged this with Debian because it's a logical endpoint for a series of articles that I wrote here about how to create a Debian Web Server with Wordpress so that you can muck about with your systems.

Blogger is only blogs, but these instructions for Wordpress may be used for entire websites if you are working with Wordpress only.

First: Export your Blog or Website

Blogger:

  1. Log in, 
  2. Go to the Settings page
  3. Select Other
  4. Click on the button to "Back up content"
  5. Click on "Save to Computer"
  6. Tell the browser where to save the file.
  7. Success!


Wordpress:

  1. Log in to your wp-admin page
  2. Click on "Tools"
  3. Click on "Export"
  4. Click on "Start Export" button
  5. Choose What To Export.  "All Content" is most likely.
  6. Click on "Download Export"
  7. Go to your email account that is specified in the message and follow the link to download your blog's content.


Second: Import your Blog or Website

Blogger:

  1. Log in, 
  2. Go to the Settings page
  3. Select Other
  4. Click on the button to "Import content"
  5. Check the box saying "I am not a Robot"
  6. Check the box saying "Automatically Publish"
  7. Answer the annoying Capcha and click the appropriate pictures
  8. Click on "Import from Computer"
  9. Tell the browser where to find the file.
  10. Success!

Wordpress:

  1. Log in to your wp-admin page
  2. Click on "Tools"
  3. Click on "Import"
  4. Click on the link for the kind of blog you want to "Run Importer
  5. Click on "Browse" to Choose File to import.
  6. Find your file on your computer.  
  7. Assign Author, Click the box saying to "Download and Import File Attachments"
  8. Click on "Submit"
  9. Success!  But note that the information will be in which ever template that you had chosen for the install of the Wordpress software.  You will probably want to adjust that as needed since it probably does not match the original blog.
All this will take a while, go pet your dog, or make coffee.
 
At this point your server will have your blog or website. 
In my case, it's local so I can make changes to my look and feel without harming my "production" website.
That new site can be anywhere, it could be on Wordpress on the cloud.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

What did one mug say to another mug after they got mugged? Call the cups!

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.

Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.

Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?

Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?

Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!




I was at the gas station...
And I noticed this policeman watching a woman who was smoking while pumping gas! I saw her and thought, "Is this lady stupid or crazy?! With the cop right there too!"
I went inside and paid for my gas and as I was checking out, I heard someone screaming. I looked out the window and saw that the woman's arm was on fire! She was swinging her arm and running around like crazy!

I ran outside to help and saw that the cop had put her on the ground and was putting the fire out with his coffee! Then he put handcuffs on her and threw her in the back seat of his car. I was thinking "What kind of idiot smokes when pumping gas?" But being the nosy person that I am, I asked the cop what he was arresting her for.
He looked me square in the eyes and said ... "Waving a firearm!"

Saturday, November 4, 2017

I found a baby sheep wrapped in plastic sheets the other day. It had been lamb-inated

A couple were struggling making a baby

They had just married and wanted to have kids. But for some unlucky reason, they had trouble conceiving.

Few months go past and finally! The wife is pregnant. The couple is super excited and happy as ever. The day comes when the wife is giving birth, and out comes a head... just a head. The baby was breathing and crying, but the doctors could not explain why he didn't have a body.

As sad as this was, it didn't phase the parents. They gave him a beautiful home, a great education, and a wonderful life. They did their best to not let their child feel disadvantaged, and it worked, because the child grew up to be a happy and successful student.

On the kid's 18th birthday, his father and some family friends took him out to have a beer. This was his first ever beer, and his father felt like he deserved it. Using a straw, the kid took his first ever sip of beer, and all of a sudden, his body stretches out! And some arms! And legs too!

He couldn't believe it, no one did. The kid became ecstatic and began rejoicing. He got up, and ran out of the pub to celebrate and spread the news to the other townsfolk, and WHAM! he gets hit by a bus.

His father looks from the window, and says "Well, he should've quit while he was ahead"

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Cooler Weather, Potatoes, and A Weird Dog Walk

Roasted Potatoes Picture from Wikimedia.com
I am not expecting any more hurricanes this season.

No, it's not like Granny saying her "Rheumatiz" is firing up and predicting the weather.

It's more like the pool is cooling, the house is cooling, and the windows are open.

There are just some things you don't want to do when the weather is hot.  Roasting a chicken or some potatoes, or both is one of them.

Of course I know some people who would say that they would never want to do that, for various reasons.  But if the temps are in the mid 90s and will be for two months, you tend to hold off doing that sort of thing.

It's that "Who Needs More Heat" mindset.

But this week has been what passes for cool here.  High in the 70s and warming to the low 80s.

Blistering hot for anyone living in the northern latitudes.  For us here in Sunny Florida, it's perfect weather to roast those root vegetables.

No, it's not a recipe, but since you asked.  Scrub the potatoes well, score the flesh, rub with a little olive oil and perhaps salt or pepper or both.  Wrap in foil.  Toss in the oven at 450F for an hour.  Should be close enough. 

Larger potatoes take an extra 15 minutes to 30.  Test with a fork.

That's how I have been heating the house.  Or at least I did when what passes for cold here arrived.

Yeah, cold.  Get out the survival gear, it's 56!

Someone who is Farenheit Impaired would wonder what on Earth I am talking about.  Then do the conversion and wonder why I am complaining about a 15 C Day.

Here, when that happens, we're all in black, and sunning ourselves on a rock.  Yes, Florida turns you into a big lizard.  We get cranky and dress for sub freezing temps when things are merely "cool" to the rest of the world.

Tropical countries would agree.

So when we go to the market later this week, I will look long and hard at that Roasting Chicken, and debate getting more potatoes to "Heat the House".

Wandering around town, I noticed that the people aren't the only ones noticing. 

Rack the SuperDog (TM) also has more energy.  The walks are getting crazy long. 
Having a smart dog means that they aren't just a lump of cute.  You see, my boy learned the neighborhood.  He knows its bounds.  He knows where to go and where not to go.


I got up that morning and said "Lets go, Show me walk".

Bad idea. 

I was cold and cranky.  It was two hours to sunrise.  I just wanted to get back inside.

We went out, and got walking.  He did his business quickly.  Now normally a lazy middle aged dog coupled to a cranky and tired man means a short walk.

Nope.  We got out a half mile from home.  He turned back toward the house.  When we got to the turn to the house he stopped, looked up at me, smiled, and did a 90 degree turn wrenching my arm out of my socket.

I bent down, picked up my detatched arm, slid it back inside the leather jacket that would have been unnecessary had we lived in a more normal climate, and attached it into position. 

Turbines whirred, lights flashed, pilot noises happened with servo noises and beeps.  My arm was reattached with a metallic click.  Handy to have a way to take a trip into the future.

"Rack!  Wait up!"  I plodded after him. 

We walked another half mile out.  Usually at this point he is ready to go home.

Or so I thought. 

We got to walk back to the house, but when we got there, he spun up his robotic space-legs, and pulled me through a warp in Space-Time past the welcoming abode.

"Boy, are we going for more?" 

He looked back at me, smiled again, and I shrugged as we passed into another dimension.

Or maybe not.

Total walk was a three mile long one.  Five Kilometers.

He is a herding dog after all. 

But that's the thing.  Take advantage of the day, whether it is blistering hot, or frigid cold, or what ever you call it.

There will be fresh potatoes waiting for you when you're back.