Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory?
Da brie was everywhere!
Gouda thing nobody was hurt!
Did anyone else notice that things like these are becoming more and more provolone recently?
A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"
The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."
The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?”
Boy nods, "Exactly!"
Britain's oldest woman turned 114 today
When asked the secret of her longevity, she attributed it to taken a walk at midnight every night. When quizzed on whether she was concerned about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not, and would continue mugging people as long as her health holds out.
My girlfriend is turning 32 soon...
I told her not to get her hopes up. "After all," I said, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute." When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This is your thirty-second birthday."