Sunday, April 21, 2024

Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died? He Pasta Way.

Having a nice workout, then a nice runner's high on a nice Sunday.  So I'm a wee bit confused about this last paragraph, but I did save it earlier thinking it was a good one.  Since I'm confused, I thought why not let the hive mind at it and give them a two-fer.  

Here you go!




It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?

Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 18.

She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 18 tomorrow."

"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home, he told his mother.

The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 18 years, and watch the expression on HIS face!"





and...






Stone.

Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral.

As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.”

“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Tell me, how much did it really cost?”

“All of it,” said Rose. “Fifty thousand.”

“No!” Sadie exclaimed. “I mean, it was very nice, but really… $50,000?!”

Rose nodded. “The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church for the priest’s services. The food and drinks were another $500. And the rest went towards the memorial stone.”

Sadie computed quickly. “$42,500 for a memorial stone? Exactly how big is it?”

“Seven and a half carats"

Saturday, April 20, 2024

Procrastinators Have It Good. For them, tomorrow is always a better day.

I have to say, there's a difference between being cheap and being frugal.  The frugal is the person saying "I'm in college" or "I'm retired".  Immediately assume they're doing the best they can and may be on limited or fixed income - then stuff your attitude and let them live with dignity.

Actually, let someone live their life with dignity is a good general rule.

On the other hand, this woman is the definition of Cheap. 

You'll get this when you read it.


 
Obituary

Woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written.
The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'.

”Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries.”

Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, “In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.’ “

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Embarrassing Rack The McNab. It only takes 17 miles to do it.


 I'm amused. 

It was a long workout, but it always is.  I'm an endurance athlete.  If the workout is less than an hour in duration it just does not feel like "enough".  I've been doing 90 minutes lately and that even feels a bit like I'm shorting myself.

Before I go to the park, I have a routine of making sure I have all I need for this.  Then I go there and burn a thousand calories.  Do that enough and you will be an endurance athlete too. 

Water, bike computer, snack for mid-exercise, minimal tool kit, trail camera, and pack.  Mount the bike on the back of the Jeep. 

In and out the front door.  Usually by the time I get to the bike going out front, Rack, my trusty sidekick, the McNab SuperDog (TM) has decided it's time to "guard" and watch the front door.

"Sorry, buddy, you can't come.  You wouldn't be able to keep up!"

Dogs are sprinters, not marathon runners.

I finally get myself together and do an in car look to make sure everything is ready.  The helmet with some of the gear is on the front seat, held in place by being blocked by the bike bag.  Two bottles of water in their place held down by the steering wheel lock and the cap.  Giant grey steel disc that makes it obvious that you're going to have issues breaking into the car. 

There really is no such thing as security in a convertible car, and mine is no different.  The best security is to simply not have anything of value in the car since if they want it, the kill switch I have discretely hidden will stop a casual car thief.

Coming back into the house, I do a final check after I step over the dog.

Finishing that "OK, Rack, Good Boy, Watch the House".

The place is a bunker, I'm not worried.

Going to the park, it's a good workout.  Always check to make sure that you work the four sides of the square so the exposed sections have wind at your back.  You get to wind surf for a little and have a little fun. 

This would be three times around plus a bit.

Get back to the car, mount the bike on the back, and go home.

I back into the driveway and climb out. 

Since I see Rack laying by the door, I go through the ritual.  Or so I think.

You see, with an intelligent herding dog like Our Boy Rack, everything has a Process.  In this case, the Process is normally, say hello, give him attention, then let him out back.

In this case he was still asleep by the time I got to the door.  I was not very quiet doing all this, in fact I had to reposition the Jeep a number of times.  There's a sprinkler head and guard by the door that have been "decorated" by my back tire a number of times and I'm extra careful not to have that happen.

All that means I was not quick about getting myself indoors.

I scoop up the helmet, bike bag, and the two vacuum bottles, and walk to the door.

"Hmm, he's still sleeping.  I wonder..."

Three soft taps on the impact glass on the door.

I have unleashed the hounds.  Cerberus himself, the three headed guard of Hades rears up. 

Massive barking.  Jumping at a rate that would do proud to a Chihuahua.  Barking to the point of yodeling. 

It wasn't that I was shielding my face to hide who I am, I was standing there in black compression shorts and a white technical fabric workout T Shirt.

I was surprised at the intensity, but knowing the source, it was laughable.  He's an old dog, and thanks to his diet he acts Middle Aged, but still by the clock he's in Bonus Years at this point. 

All that jumping around and yelling on his part finally began to shake the crazy from his head.  The feeding frenzy of insanity fading to nothing and he began to realize I was home and who I was.  The tail began to wag.

I'm watching all this and laughing.  Loudly.  Mind you, the impact glass will muffle sounds but not all that much.  The normal thing at this point is for me to unlock the door and step in saying "Are you going to let me in?"

This did not happen.  He realized that he was being laughed at by me and he walked away to His Corner.

"What's the matter, Rack, don't you want to say hi?" I said between belly laughs.

He finally calmed down enough that we resumed normal programming.   I was able to get him out to the backyard as the Process requires. 

Laughing.

All day.

Every time I would look his way, he would look embarrassed and look away.  I'd start laughing again.

Over the years I've mentioned that he's a cartoon character.  Black and white and quirky.  Definitely can teach an old dog new tricks, that maxim is a load of nonsense.  While he's in his Bonus Years, I will certainly treat him as well as I have and give him room to be himself.  We always have.  

I will say the entertainment value I have gotten has been amazing.  Hopefully we will still have more years to come.

Sunday, April 14, 2024

If men call short women "petite", what do women call short men? "friends".

Go on, go out and enjoy the day!  It's beautiful here, and it is beautiful where you are because you are there!  But before you go, here are some lessons.



 
Lessons learned over time, in no particular order:

    the problem is always in the last thing that you check.

    always do the network card driver update AFTER everything else.

    it's probably the cable that's causing the problem.

    if you think that you've made things foolproof, the fool will become more ingenious.

    don't click ok on the error message until after you read it.

    if you perch something fragile precariously for just a second, you'll leave it there until it falls.

    if you can't figure out the problem, you didn't remove enough things.

    the wife and the dog both think that they should sleep on your side of the bed.

    check on top of your head before you begin searching for your glasses.

    look in the front door lock before you start searching for your keys.

    just when you think your kid can't get any dumber, they do.

Saturday, April 13, 2024

Guess who I saw yesterday?!!?? Who? Everybody I looked at!

After spending some time in the kitchen making breakfast for future treats, I figured "Why not do this?"  I do a lot of "this" random stuff during the days. 

Today it was making milk for future use.  Pudding requires that, so I make it with powdered milk.  Not the best, but it works and we have a place that sells the stuff in huge bags.

Pro tip, it's annoying to make milk from powdered dry milk so make yourself some coffee or tea first.  Bring an extra amount of water to a boil and mix the powder in at once - it should be as close to boiling as possible.  The powder mixes almost immediately.


 

Little Jhonny was an only child.

After hearing from his friends that had younger siblings how fun it was to take care, play, and sometimes pick on them, he got extremely jealous and began to wish very badly for a little brother.

So everyday he would beg his parents for them to have another baby. His parents, however, really didn't want another child, so they always refused.

But at some point, little Jhonny's dad got tired of being constantly pestered, so he decided to make something up for him:

"Son, you actually DO have a little brother!"

"What? No way!"

"It's true! It's just that your schedules never match!"

"What? What does that mean?"

"Well, it means that while he's here at home, you're at school. And while you're sleeping, we are playing with him. Got it? He stays with us almost as much as you do, but you never run into each other!"

"Ohhhhhh! So then he's like my other daddy."

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

I Am Rack. I Guard.

I finally ejected a pile of things from my rocker. 

It lets me use it, I hardly moved from it all day yesterday.  I figured after a 17 mile workout on the bike going around in big circles at the park, I deserved a rest.

Today doesn't look like a good day to move around either.  Having an energy crisis has its benefits.

Oh sure there are things to do here, including pressure cooking some Kidney Beans for dog food for the next two weeks.  If a can is 15 ounces, 4 cups will make 4 cans, and dried Kidney Beans are super cheap this way, especially when you buy beans in big bags.

No salt either.  Dogs don't do well with a lot of salt in their diets.

Sitting here has its own charm.  I can look out the windows in the front of the house, watch things go on, and do my own thing.

Apparently my own thing is to entertain Rack.

If I were to get out of my rocker, as opposed to being "Off My Rocker", he would put himself somewhere to watch. 

Sorry, buddy, but I will have to in a bit.  Got to do my own thing. 

But when I am home, he will settle in at the front door to watch the world too.  Since most of the day he watches me, I have to assume that I am a lot of his world too.

The more we learn about these creatures that our distant ancestors invited into our homes, the more depth we find out that they have in their furry little heads.

To be sure, there are always breed specific behaviors.  But that is only a tendency. 

I have had situations where I swear I'm having a conversation with him.  The delivery truck comes in, he becomes aware, starts going nuts barking and acting loud and fierce.

"Stop, you told me, you don't need to yell!"

Things tone down from "An Eleven" to a dull roar.

"Come here"

He comes over.  I cradle his head in my hands and pet until he either pulls away or gets loud again.

"Shh, go in the corner."

Like a non-verbal child who understands, he will do just that.  I have a Dog Bed in that corner next to my other chair there.  Grumbling all the way but he understands.

When the interloper leaves "Ok, come on out.".

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.  Rack is back on guard.

He's getting old now.  We've had him for 12 years.  He's had his share of health issues.  The Pill A Day club has him as a member.  It's actually twice a day Thyroid meds for him.  That's fine, gives me a chance to give him the peanut butter he loves.

Make sure you get the right kind.  Any "Birch Sugar" or Xylitol will kill your dog.  Seriously.  Be very careful.

I will say that if I had it to do over, I would.  If I had it to do over now, I'd have an array of those "Speaking Buttons" and train him to talk to us.  I know he understands me when I speak to him - I get correct responses, cause and effect, when I speak.  With a McNab Dog, you expect intelligence.  If you can't train a McNab, you can't train a dog.

He goes to the back door where I have a string of "Wedding Bells" from my sister's wedding years ago.  He knows if he flicks it gently, we will hear them ring to say "I need out".

There's depth there that is untapped.  That is unfortunately the way of things.  I'm sure the conversation would be fascinating.

Every dog deserves a home, Not every home deserves a dog.  McNabs don't do well in shelters.  They are reserved.  They wait for things to get better and don't go crazy when they see people.  There are other breeds that do the things to get your attention, and a McNab's personality is patient.

That being said if I were in their native California, I'd have a pack of them.  Amazing breed if you are willing to bond and figure out that patient personality.  They just get things right.

While not every home deserves a dog, not every person deserves a McNab.  I am lucky.  I'm in an Urban Area with a Farm Dog.  However, while they need appropriate exercise, and ours gets about 3-5 miles of walks a day, those walks are through areas with a LOT of people to greet.  Mental Exercise for an intelligent dog is just as important as the zooming around the yard that he used to do every time outside, and still does from time to time.

A McNab is also smart enough to know that not every Farm deserves a Dog.  That's when they wander off looking for better opportunities.  It's how a lot of them end up in a shelter.  Not every McNab wants to chase Sheep all day, some just want to lay by the door and watch you.

Like mine.

Sunday, April 7, 2024

If God wanted me to fly, He'd have given me tickets.

All the sudden I am getting calls from friends and family.  I guess now that we're 3 years past Covid and lockdowns, people are finally traveling again.  Not me, I'm off to the park to bike, and have had coffee, so I need to burn some energy off. 

However, I can think of this scenario happening ...




 Intercom


A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom,

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY G-D!"

Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back on the intercom and said,

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

Saturday, April 6, 2024

"Wow," said the doctor examining the young woman's trick knee, "what's a joint like this doing in a nice girl like you?"

That sounds like my workout yesterday.  Got on the bike in the strong gusts from the West and only did 16 miles.  Knee started complaining.  Hmmm.  When you are athletic and built with a broad chest, it acts like a sail.  As tough as riding into a head wind can be, it's real fun when you come back and the wind is at your back!






A homeless man approached me as I was leaving a sandwich shop and he asked me if I had $5 to spare. I felt bad for him, and was just about to give him the money.

But then I realized I was holding a $5 foot long I had just bought, so I held up both the cash and the sandwich and told him he could have whichever one he preferred.

He stared at the sandwich. Then his eyes shot over to the $5 bill. He looked at the sandwich again, then back at the cash. After a moment his eyes were darting back and forth between the two, and he threw up his hands in despair, let out a scream of anguish and then turned and ran away from me.

At first I was totally confused, but then it dawned on me: Beggars can’t be choosers.


Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Note to Self: If Trail Repairs are so Annoying, Stop Doing Them Until Done.

I tell people I'm a Dual-Sport Endurance Athlete.   Then I get a wonderful confused look.

It means I do Inline Skating, or Cycling, for a long time period.  Sometimes as much as 3 hours in one workout. 

It's the equivalent of getting into your car and driving for pleasure a long way away and trying really hard to get lost.  But you don't get lost, so you go home a little excited that you didn't get lost and you decide to try harder next time.

SkateSkateSkate or BikeBikeBike.  Long time. 

Bring plenty of water.
Bring snacks.
Bring Sunblock.

Trust me that last one is just as important as the snacks.  I've come home from a summer workout with a sunburned neck and all the skating I did was on a cloudy day in a Pennsylvania Forest.

Valley Forge, PA in Summer can be deceivingly sunny.

Sometimes I'd "Throw a bolt" or "break an axle" and then have to sit aside the trail and fix things on the spot.  You don't want a wheel of any type rubbing against the sides of your Exercise-Vehicle-Of-Choice 75 minutes from the Trailhead.

It would make it very difficult to get home.

I got more and more insistent on what I wanted to bring along when I was far from home.  Like tossing air pumps on the bike, tool kits in the skate pack.  I wasn't the only one since I would find the equivalent of the Ikea Part 100001 Allen Key all over these trails.  That is a 4MM Allen Key for the non-cognoscenti.

I usually have more than one of those with me and I have just handed them over to a stranded athlete more than once.

However sitting aside a trail saying many times to people "Just threw a bolt" and removing the rest of that wheel and tucking it into a bag was something I developed a nice deep feeling of contempt for.  May as well put some bolt locker on those things so they don't move since the bearings for the wheels are hard to get.

No, really, if you skate, getting good bearings may require a 6 week wait.  Splurge on the Full Ceramic bearings because that sheen of water will rust your "Swiss" bearings (made in China no doubt).

I have blown tires in the middle of a workout on the bike.  Replaced them.  Rode on.  Punctures are annoying.

Today was just ... Pointless. 

I stopped in the middle of a shorter workout.  Laps of 4.6 miles, at 9 miles, at a water stop.  I was sitting on the bumper of my Jeep.  After I finished my water and sugar rush from the Chocolate, I decided to "just tighten up my back brake.

The bike was stopping but slower than I prefer.  Too many "Trail Hogs" on the trails here in South Florida.  People seem to be much more self absorbed these days, and with headphone use the rule and not the exception, ON YER LEFT is simply ignored.

I need to be able to dump speed NOW.  Accident avoidance when you are topping out at 7 feet tall on a bike and helmet is important.

So I did.  Except I got it slightly wrong.  That last lap was really quite slow.  Oh sure, I biked along for a reasonable 16.3 miles, call it 148,182 bananas, or 25.75 km, but the brake was too close to the disc.

That caused drag, and it slowed me down. 

When all was through, it was a bad Trail Repair I had done, and I should have waited. 

Bad Moose, No Chocolate.  Don't get back on the trail without fixing that.

I did, the bike's back wheel rolls clear of the brake disc now, and I'll be able to enjoy my next workout in a couple days.

Just only do the absolute necessary on the trails, right?  Enjoy your ride and don't be a perfectionist.  The time for that is at home before or after you are done.

Now, I need to find the bike box so I can sand my brake pads on the bike again.  Stopping good.  Boring bad.


Sunday, March 31, 2024

How did the hacker escape the police? He ransomware.

How about a two-fer?


Ms. Johnson asks her junior high class what body part grows 6 times its size when it gets excited

She calls on Susan who says "Ms. Johnson that is a very inappropriate question to ask girls in this class. My parents will hear about this."

She then calls on Jennifer who says "the pupil of the eye in dark conditions."

"Correct," Ms. Johnson answers. "And Susan I have 3 things to say to you. First, you clearly didn't read your homework assigment. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third you are going to be very disappointed in a few years."



 

Yes, I know I am late with this.  I'll just leave this here with a reminder that Fish and Guests both stink after 3 days.

Not really but Ben Franklin thought so and I think quite well of his writings.





St. Patrick's Day warm up

I had an annoying episode last night.
At 3:21 am, my neighbor starts knocking on my front door.

3:21 am.
Can you believe that?
Thank god I was already up practicing my bagpipes, so I didn’t mind as much.

Saturday, March 30, 2024

My brother died today. Only 2yrs old. Next time I'm buying an Epson.

So that man walks into a bar meme?  It's an old one, but there's a good twist at the end here. 

I hope it will "Moove" you too!




 
A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, you can't come in here with a cow!"

The man says, "This is a special cow. You can drink all night, take one sip of what comes outta this thing, and you won't be hungover."

"You're lying," says the bartender.

"Only one way to find out," says the man. "Let me buy you a few shots."

The man and the bartender proceed to get drunk all the way past close, laughing, having a good time, and knowing they're gonna feel horrible the next day.

Finally, the bartender, says, "Alright, we gotta shut. Give me some of that anti-hangover milk!"

The man says, "I have good news and bad news."

"I knew it!" said the bartender. "You lied to me! That thing doesn't prevent hangovers!"

"Oh, that's the good news," says the man. "It definitely prevents hangovers."

"So what's the bad news?" asks the bartender.

The man says, "Actually, that's a bull."



Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Living With Linux - How I was able to Switch from Debian Testing to Stable to use Backports

There is a meme in the Linux World.  The Answer is Always Debian

However, there are times where the question is "How will I be frustrated by ancient software today".

I moved from "Stable" to "Testing" about six months ago.  This week I moved back from Testing To Stable. 

People don't often do this, and it is difficult to do gracefully.  In short the way I did it was to use a second computer, install a fresh copy of Debian Stable onto it, then use my backup to put back what I needed.  Both my /home and my programs.

The long form of that is pretty long and nuanced.  The syntax for "backports" is at the bottom of this article.

The scenario was that I had software that got to far out of date because the modern connected world your browser and other software must be absolutely current.  Surf the wrong site and you have viruses infesting you.  Other sites are purposely breaking software you have and you are forced to upgrade to current.

Debian Linux's reputation is rock hard stability.  It does so by very thoroughly testing what they put to get everything safe as of date of issue.  Lawyer's Answer is that a week later in the fast world of the modern internet, you will have to have more modern software to protect yourself.

First I want an Encrypted Hard Drive.  Reason is in case the house gets broken into, the computer goes missing, whatever, you will have the machine, but you won't have my personal information.  My password on the machine is fairly UN-guessable.

Second.  That creates a problem.  To do a secure clone of the hard drive means that the way encryption works, you need a second machine to get the data off of the backup so you can copy it back to wherever you want it.  

Second machine makes things easy.  One machine gives you more difficulty and grief.  I have the old hardware, I'm fine with maintaining two similar but distinct machines.

Third, my "Daily Driver" computer was great, and went through two different upgrades to the actual hardware.  I'm very fortunate to have someone who gives me hand me down laptops that are basically worthless to the organization they work for, and they are expensed.  I repair them, which gives me a "New To Me" computer out of something that does not work.

I fix the broken new machine with parts scavenged, recycle the old one, and while everything is out in the open, I simply put the old hard drive in the new machine and go with it at the end of it all.  Fast, Safe, Secure.

My old install on Debian Testing that I had for about 3 years via multiple computers and multiple updates was now broken.  It was asking for an upgrade and when I did that via "apt update" and "apt upgrade" it killed my install if I forced the upgrade.  After two months of this I decided enough is enough and proceeded after a backup happened and I did it to use backports and in this broad fashion.

First, get a clone of the original Debian Testing hard drive and set it aside.

Second, install the most up to date version of Debian Stable you can find on to a stick and then onto the other similar computer.

I did say nuanced.  All my machines are Thinkpad. with similar hardware, and all are encrypted.  The older one I installed to is over 7 years old with a bad battery which is why I now consider it "parts".

To create the 8gb stick I used 'dd if="MyDebianISO.iso" of=/dev/sdb conv=noerror,sync status=progress' and walked away.  When finished, I booted from that stick on the older computer, installed it.

It takes about 15 minutes on the "old" computer to install Debian.  It's just not worth the time to delve into fixing things at this point.

Third, create a list of markings on the "new" computer that is running Testing.  Run Synaptic, Create a text file of everything installed.  That creates a problem where the programs that are broken will break the install on the new machine.  To find them, sort the markings and hunt.  Delete what you do not need, and import it into Synaptic on the old, Stable install.

Sorry, I can't be more specific than that since your needs are different than mine, but the sort command is simple.  Assuming you have marks.txt as your input, marks_sorted.txt as output:  cat marks.txt | sort > marks_sorted.txt

Get that file to the Stable machine and import your marks_sorted.txt after deleting anything you do not want into Synaptic there.  Then verify you don't have a broken install, and update the Stable computer

I verified my install, rebooted the computer a couple times and verified I was up to date.  

Result was now my computer now had a "clean" version of Stable up to date.  I swapped hard drives with the newer hardware because it was marginally faster with a fresh battery in it, and rebooted there.  Everything worked.

Except my Firefox was the older one, and yt-dlp was not working in some situations.  After all, you sometimes want to listen to media offline, especially as an endurance athlete like I am.

That required two different fixes.

Firefox - I went with the version in www.flathub.org instead of going with the one in mozilla.  It's said to be current.  Same with Librewolf.  I use one for "my surfing" the Librewolf for emails and (unfortunately) facebook.  In my mind along with my own /etc/hosts file,  it keeps the garbage ads and spying by the sites down.

yt-dlp was demanding that I went to backports to do an update.  This is the point of all this text.

Backports.  

Determine that /etc/apt/sources.list has backports enabled.
I had these lines at the bottom of my sources.list file:

# Backports allow you to install newer versions of software made available for this release
deb http://deb.debian.org/debian/ bookworm-backports main non-free-firmware
deb-src http://deb.debian.org/debian/ bookworm-backports main non-free-firmware

To use Backports to update, you only update a SINGLE program.  apt will grab what it needs to keep you up to date (I hope) so you aren't missing any dependencies.

apt update
apt upgrade "NeededPackageName"/bookworm-backports

In my specific case:  apt upgrade yt-dlp/bookworm-backports


Sunday, March 24, 2024

Today was a big day - I bought my first stepladder. It really was a big step up for me.

No my friends, I have not forgotten you.  I'm sitting here with my feet on the coffee table after a workout.  I had my "daily driver" computer get weirder and weirder over the last two months and am re-creating my environment on another machine.  That's part of the challenge of running an operating system where they're telling you "It's Testing, it may break!".  

Got tired of the Weird so I went back to "Stable". 

"Linux really is user friendly, but it is picky about who its friends are!"




 ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---...


A guy was traveling in the Spanish countryside, and after driving all day he stopped for the night at a tiny inn.

The innkeeper, upon giving him his key, asked him if he would like to participate in a battle of wits with his special chicken. "If you stump him, you get a wish, any wish you like!" he explains.

The man agrees to it, and he's led into the bar, whereupon sits a healthy sized hen. He proceeds to have a battle of wits, and is roundly defeated by the hen.

"I didn't expect the chicken to be so smart!" says the man.
"No," says the innkeeper, "no one expects the Spanish inn quiz wish hen!"

Saturday, March 23, 2024

Why did the lead guitarist only have 5 strings on her guitar? Because she was wearing the g-string

 It's about to rain, I've had my perfect scrambled eggs, now it's time for a little comedy.


...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---... ...---...

A small startup company announces they will be holding an employee costume party to celebrate the end of their first fiscal year in business.

The theme of the party is “Past and Present” to celebrate the work that has been done while also looking forward to the years to come. To further expand on the theme they encourage all employees to bring family members if they would like to, children included. They even announce they will even be giving away a prize for the most creative costume!

The day of the party arrives and everyone is in attendance, including the CEO of the company, Catherine.

As she’s mingling with employees, she comes across one employee with a particularly interesting costume. They are wearing a full cat outfit as well as makeup with wrinkles and gray hairs.

“So what are you supposed to be?” asks the CEO.

“I’m you!” responds the employee. “I’m you in the future… old ‘Cat’”.

The CEO laughs and thanks the employee for their creativity and work on the costume.

The employee’s young daughter then walks up to join their parent, also dressed as a cat, but without the wrinkles or gray hair.

“Do you know what I’m dressed up as?” asks the girl.

It immediately clicks as the CEO recognizes what the girl’s costume is.

“Why, you’ve gotta be kitten me!”

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

For Perfect Scrambled Eggs, One Tablespoon of Milk Each and Low and Slow.

Custard-y and soft scrambled eggs shouldn't be this easy.  Really.

For each Egg, add one Tablespoon of Milk.
Scramble in a bowl, mug, etc.

Add any add ins as you feel necessary but if they need cooking, do that separately.

Get your favorite skillet out and start to warm it up on LOW.
Yes, Low.

They don't have to be babied, but relax, everything will cook in time.

The picture was at the end of cooking my breakfast today.  That gadget in my hand shows how low the heat was on the surface of the skillet, 233F.  Just over Boiling.  Call it 105C.

You will be cooking this low and slow.  It seems to be the key to this.
Push the eggs around with your spatula gently.  They will set. 

But try it.

It took me less time to make two eggs in a skillet than it usually does to make a "Souffle Egg" in the microwave.   Sure there's clean up afterwords, but at least you're not having them explode and coat the insides of the microwave, or turn into a yellow and white hockey puck.

Sunday, March 17, 2024

I thought I found a clover made of stone. It turns out it's a sham rock

 Ok, after a long workout this morning where I had to stop to watch the sunrise over the airpark and the airplanes, I'm in the chair listening to classical music and thinking what diabolical story can I dig up for today. 

See if this fits the bill! 


A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"

"No" her mother replied.

"Well, I think I'm gonna be sick, Momma!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush."

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

"Were you sick?" her mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick'."

Saturday, March 16, 2024

I never ride my bike around the mental health hospital, There are dangerous cycle paths down there!

 Between adding two teaspoons of cocoa and an ounce of peanut butter to my morning oatmeal and an ounce of Dulce De Leche (Caramel Sauce), this is getting a bit out of hand.  Tasty, but a bit out of hand.

But yes, tasty.  And hey I'm not going to give you any bad ideas but my own diet has me at 600 calories per meal - and this just hits it.   Maybe hold back on the caramel sauce next time couldn't taste it :)


Anyway



A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower.

"How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.

"I'm just trying to make enough money to buy a bicycle," said the little boy.

After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"

The boy said, "You got a deal."

The preacher took the mower and tried to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower.

The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."

The little boy said, "That's 'cause you have to cuss at it to get it started."

The preacher said, "I'm a minister, and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't know if I even remember how to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said, "Just keep pulling on that string. It'll come back to ya!"

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Migrating my Linux Install From One Machine to the next. Took me longer to open the case.

Before I retired, I always had very new computers.

Then I moved down here to Florida.  The power company who shall remain nameless with their crappy infrastructure took care of that.

I had a rather nice desktop machine.  Then I realized that it was killed by power spikes.  The old laptop I had still worked.

Hmm, I'm onto something here.

Basically that power brick on the floor filtered the power spikes.  Literally, it blew out a power brick and left me powerless until I could get to the computer store down in Miami.

Then I realized that there is not enough room for a desk and a desktop and a giant CRT Style Monitor.  Hey it was the "Naughties" so LCD Screens were still expensive.

I migrated to my laptop permanently.

It was harder to move data around then, the hardware did not lend itself to it, and Windows... Well the less said about that the better.

Now, my newest computer is a little more than 3 years old (November 2020) and it's fast in comparison.  I moved over to Linux permanently and never looked back a while ago.  Some time around 2010, maybe earlier.  When Windows 8.1 came out.   I still have that install on a very old laptop and cringe every time I use it.  Ugly block land, and now Windows 11 is coming back to the way it used to look in Windows 2000 ... with AI?  Sheesh how do you people use Windows these days?  It's a steaming pile of sluggish poop!  Do you want SkyNet because AI is how you get Terminator.

This particular "new" machine I have here is a Lenovo T15 with 16GB of memory and a rather fast 500GB hard drive. 

How I went to it was simple.  I opened it up and connected the new machine and the hard drive clone of a backup from my X390 Yoga.  Turned it on and it worked.

Yep.  That's it.  Really, that old Yoga was feeling it's age because the USB-C socket that I used to power it was getting flaky but it is still a solid performer - Linux is a very forgiving environment.  The prior two upgrades, going back about 10 years, are both usable speed wise, even today.  You can't do that with Windows.

Oh, I had the "new" computer reboot a couple times and looked over the bios on the new machine and everything was just like I left it.

All done until this morning.  I was presented with an "initramfs" prompt.  It was an error that was fixed easily by two file system checks.  Took about 5 minutes once I remembered what I needed to do.

fsck -y /dev/mapper/luks*d
fsck -y /dev/mapper/luks*2

That means: File System Check, answer everything yes, on the drives referenced in the Mapper directory.

Yep.  That's it.  Took about 15 minutes to move the hardware.  Newer machine, larger screen, faster processor, still an encrypted hard drive.  Thanks for the upgrade!  I am right back where I was, doing my thing and happily listening to Mexican Pop on my cheap little external speakers.

Sunday, March 10, 2024

If that’s Orion’s belt….Where’s his pants?

 Since my Wordpress backup of this www.ramblingmoose.com site liked the topic yesterday, I thought I'd repeat the silliness.

So folks?  Did you reset your clocks?  How many will you miss until May or June or some other dear sweet lady's named month?

Don't let's go on that metaphor, it's a bit odd.

Just back from a workout, nice day for it.  Here is hoping your weekend is just as awesome!




A timid little man was terrified of flying, and was on a long distance trip.

He was on his first ever flight, and he had the window seat. Besides him sat a giant man, heavily tattooed, and not smelling the cleanest.

After the plane took off, the timid little fellow soon found himself feeling sick. But he didn't know how to get past the large fellow that sat between him and the way to the bathroom, especially because his neighbour was now fast asleep.

Suddenly it was too late, he couldn't help himself, and he got sick all over the other man. He frantically tried to wipe up the mess, hoping the giant wouldn't wake up.

Despite his best efforts, he noticed the man stirring, and his eyes opened. Thinking quickly, the timid little man smiled and said, "Are you feeling better now?"




Oh ew, but he did cover his mistake fairly well if a bit evil.

How about a second one?  Since we're heading to a burger joint similarly named, and I was just at a golf course biking circles around the place...





Two guys are out playing golf

Jim and Dave are playing golf one day when they come to the 8th hole there are two women teeing off.

Jim turns to Dave and says "go ask if we can play through"

Dave takes off towards the two women but only makes it about ten paces before he turns around and comes back

"What's the matter?" Asks Jim

"Well you see one of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress" replies Dave

"I see" says Jim as he heads off to ask the women if they can play through, like Dave he takes about ten steps then returns to Dave and says "small world"

Saturday, March 9, 2024

The Orion's Belt is just a big waist of space..Terrible joke. Only three stars.

 Well, I did complain that I whacked my jokes back up file, and my original or current jokes file.

I found it on an old laptop.  So if I give you a duplicate, just tell yourself that you heard it before, and if you like you can reach out to me here or on facebook (ugh) and say so.  I'll be gracious, shrug, and "try better".

Now, about those old laptops... I have a stack here, and I am sure you do too.  If you have an old intel Mac (i3/i5/i7) that you are trying to get rid of securely, I can help you there too.  We'll talk.  Either you donate it to the cause or I hand you your machine back with a base install of Linux...

On to the Jokes...


This one I know I heard but I don't care, I like it!




A burglar breaks into a house. He begins to search the home for valuables when hears a quiet voice say
“Jesus is watching you” he dismisses it as paranoia and carries on with his crime.
He hears the voice again “Jesus is watching you”.
He’s knows this time it’s not in his head so he looks around the room and sees a parrot in the corner.
He walks over to the parrot and it repeats one more time “Jesus is watching you”.
The burglar says to the parrot. “Is your name Jesus?”
“No it’s Moses” the parrot replied.
The burglar laughs and says “Who names a parrot Moses?” and
the parrot says “The same person who named the Rottweiler Jesus”



If that was not enough, here's my tip o the hat for a two-fer!





A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard.

They find a deserted cabin and take shelter.

They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets.

The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself.

As they get tucked in for the night the nun calls out,

- "Father, Father I'm cold!"

So the priest gets up and puts another blanket on the nun.

- "Is that better Sister?" he asks.

- "Yes Father, much better," she replies.

So he gets back in his sleeping bag and starts to nod off when she again calls out with,

- "Father I'm still cold!"

So once again the priest gets up and puts another blanket on her, ensuring she is tucked into the bed well.

- "Is that better Sister?" he asks.

- "Oh yes Father, that's much better," she says.

So the priest gets himself back into the sleeping bag and this time is just starting to dream when he wakes up to her call of,

- "Father, Father I'm just so cold!"

The priest thinks long about this and finally says,

- "Sister, we are in the middle of nowhere in a blizzard. No one but you, myself, and the lord himself will ever know what happens here this night. How about, just for this night, we act as though we were married?"

The nun thinks on this for a minute, she can't help but admit to herself she's been curious, and finally answers with a tentative,

- "OK Father, just for tonight, we will act as though we are married."

So the Father replies,

- "Get up and get your own damned blanket ya cow!" and rolls over to fall asleep.



Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Trust in Dog, That Storm Means It's Not A Workout Day Even Though It Will Clear


 I guess the light comes on and nobody is still home.

The alarm has a light on it that is "just enough" to wake me.  Ear plugs are in so I can't hear the thing anyway. 

I can't also hear the rain outside until I pull the ear plugs out.  After checking the radar, it's no workout so I drop into a lower gear and ask Rack the McNab SuperDog (TM) if he's ok and can wait or "Do you need to go out". 

Rack just lay on his bed, sprawled out, vibrating from the outdoor thunder and lightning, very, very, frightening.

Yes, a McNab SuperDog (TM) is smart enough to tell you if he needs to water a tree or not.  That's why he's a Super Dog for crying out loud!

He didn't.  I watered my own porcelain "tree".  Was able to check Radar while doing all that and realized that "It's Not A Workout Day" or as a Visitor or Tourist to My Fair City would say "Not a Beach Day".

I grabbed my clothes after checking the scales for the daily weigh in.  Leaning against the wall in the hall I heard the Weather Alert Radio agree with my appraisal.  The Radar was evil and green/red and mottled, and we were in a lull in the downpour.  The Pompano Beach AirPark where I workout was under a red blob, and just forget it.  Ok, not going to happen.

The clearing that they need to do after the storms was not going to happen either because it's not a high priority.  It rains, their choices in plantings next to the trails drop litter on the trails, and eventually they get the blowers out to clear it off, but it could be a solid week in some cases.  Your workout is not their priority.

I pulled on the jeans and looked in the mirror.  Not bad, my two-pack may not be a six pack, but I'm also close to being a grandfather's age.  Memento Mori can wait.

...and we went out for a walk. 

By the time we got back he was laying at my feet as I made his food bowl vibrating.

All that is to say basically that if you think the Sunshine State is easy to predict weather because it is rarely colder than 50F and rarely warmer than 95F, hold my beer while I get Radar up.  Storms can come from any angle.  Here they tend to ride the border between Broward and Dade Counties right on that line.  The heat islands from Miami and Miami Beach and Downtown Fort Lauderdale, tend to push the storms right along that.  Just North of Downtown Fort Lauderdale in Wilton Manors and adjoining Oakland Park are in the "rain shadow" and drier, and the Pompano Airpark is a cool bit of land that pulls in storms. 

I once outraced a Thunderstorm coming south on Federal Highway/US1 from Boca Raton into Deerfield Beach into Pompano Beach getting to my car completely dry on my racing inline skates.  Apparently that storm was not moving at that high a speed.

So trust in Dog, and get a good Radar app.  Oh and those Weather Alert Radios are generally programmable with something called "SAME" which will limit the alerts to just your one-ninth of the county.  In a square county, like mine, that's important.

Mind you by 9AM all that is immaterial because the weather has cleared for a couple hours.  Slop will still be on the trails in Pompano but momentum has it's own charm and so do the Peppermint Patty Pancakes that I made for breakfast.  Well, Peppermint.  Not really enough Cocoa yet to call them Peppermint Patty, but that's easy to fix.


Sunday, March 3, 2024

Pay Attention When Your Computer Warns You Your File Is Open On A Save, I Lost My Jokes File

 Hey I mean I can recover it, but it will take some flipping back and forth to get it back.

What happened was that in all the nonsense that I do here, I blinked.  It was not due to anything other than just being busy and or tired blah blah blah.

I had the file I keep open on the desktop.  That Jokes file.  It's titled "Thirteen Bad Jokes.txt".  Many months back I started putting jokes and stories into that file but started with saving one liners.   I found so many more one liners that I used them for the weekend titles.

That many...

But I would have people send jokes to me and others I would "farm" from joke sites on the web.  I had a few basic rules -

They have to be funny to me,
They have to be funny to me after I clean them up to be able to be told in a class room of 12 year olds,
They have to be not-evil - Not racist/sexist/etc-ist.

I personally don't consider myself terribly offensive - here.  In person you will know exactly how you sit with me in chapter and verse, and probably learn too much about my own head, too quickly.

If you find that strange, be truthful with yourself, because I am sure there are some out there who would say exactly that about you. 

The "Hold My Beer" mindset that extends in our recent culture is very different than it had been even 20 years ago.

So I screwed up.  While I watch this particular post come up with a warning message that says " Update Failed ".  Oh yes, it will be one of those days.

I guess I'll be spending time on those same sites looking to start over.  Having a zero byte file on the desktop of this machine is useless. 

Since I was gifted a machine so that I could continue writing the blog as well as other things, I may be able to leverage one of those machines to help.

Repair Software Rules

1) Never use Windows because the ick factor is just too high
2) when backing up Linux don't try to use your back up on the machine you are trying to restore to because the Linux hard drive is a clone, and if you plug a cloned back up into an encrypted master, it will error out.
3) if trying to restore a single file or directory of them (Folder to you Windows people), use a temporary Linux install.  It only takes an hour to create one, only 10 minutes to book from install media. 

On that note, if I want Lunch at Noon when I have company, I have to release this blurb of helpful hints, and rants, and get my beefy and fit self into the shower!

We will see how that all goes won't we?  LOL

Saturday, March 2, 2024

What do you call a good looking Pig? Hamsome.

Ok, I'm back from being an athlete today.  Beautiful day for a 14.6 mile bike ride.  Trying to do a file by file copy on a very large volume in Linux with my feet up on the couch at the moment.   We'll see how that goes, the destination was formatted for windows.  "ext4" is so much more flexible.



John and the Mob Boss

John was serving as a jury member in a high-profile gangster trial. The mob boss's underlings approached John with threats and a bribe:

"There's no way a death sentence will be passed. At worst, it'll be a life sentence." Shaken, John agrees. The trial proceeds, and the jury is sequestered. Hours turn into days, then a week...

Finally, the jury returns with their decision:

"Life imprisonment."

The gang members are thrilled. The boss grins at John, and as his men hand John $10,000, they praise him, "Great job, you've truly earned this. But what took so long? Was it tough to persuade the others?"

John sighs and says, "You wouldn't believe it! Right from the start, they were all set on acquittal. It was a nightmare convincing them for a life imprisonment!"

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Debian may be stable, but that doesn't mean I have to be. "touch /forcefsck" will help.

I started the day the way I ended the last one, cursing at a laptop.

You see, If you are running Windows on your personal computer, a lot of the control has been slowly taken from you until Microsoft has turned something that was once a long time ago a hobby machine, into an appliance.

The Mac never really was anything but an appliance.  Do as we say, stay in our little walled garden, and walk in lock step while pretending you have freedom.  Draw your pictures and enjoy.

I run Linux.  There really are no rules.  You have a computer, in my case an older one that is a hand me down from corporate life.  You push the Windows install away, and you take the control back. 

The design philosophy is drastically different.  You have control.  Free will, really.  So you find an acceptable level of risk that fits your capabilities, your knowledge, and you make your own decisions.  This implies you will make mistakes along the way.  You will break things.  It's not always a comfortable ride, although it can be.

I use a version of the operating system called Debian.  In its Stable form, it is one of the most comfortable and competent pieces of software you will ever experience.  It is the warm comforter on a cold night with a nice mug of hot chocolate and a Labrador retriever sitting by your side.  It simply does not break.  Oh sure, it is known to be a bit older, but that software being older has its benefits.  Stability. 

It's the air cooled VW Beetle of your dreams, or in my case that 2002 Jeep Wrangler that is sitting in the driveway with no rust and no check engine light.  I'm proud of that, really.  I mean who has a 22 year old car that is worth $15K without really trying?

On the other hand, I've turned this island of stability into a rowdy puppy.  With the Zoomies.  Colliding into the china cabinet and breaking dishes.

How?  I turned it into "Testing Debian".  Now keep in mind, Debian anything is more stable than most.  There are companies that have based their entire existence on running something that is called "Testing" by one of the most careful and conservative organizations in the Linux world. 

Where Windows and the Mac are all hush-hush and closed source, if I had a mind to, I could get the actual code that built the software my computer runs on and build my own version.  Create my own distribution.  There are a large number of computer companies that do just that.

But, things sometimes go awry.  Hence my bad night and day.  Something has been lingering and I tried to force it.  I ended up in a "Dependency Hell" where one piece of software was depending on another to run at a low level within the computer's library of software. 

Didn't work.  I gave up just after breakfast and did something I did not want to do - I restored the computer from a backup.

And that's the moral of the story.   Always have a complete back up of your computer.  I did.  A clone of my hard drive.  Why not?  Memory is cheap these days, and I set the machine to do a full and complete backup on Sunday night so on Monday morning, I can update the thing on my own time.

Yes, Windows users, I can tell my machine to do things on my own schedule even if the thing is not going to work right once I am done. 

Windows Update be damned, I'm flying by the seat of my pants.

That is how my Jeep got its wheels cleaned.  Start the restore, then get bored.  I went outside and cleaned the car while the "dd" copy was working.

"dd"?  Originally meant Disk Dump, but I have used it like Disk Destroyer before.

Jeep has the wheels cleaned, windows washed, and I have a 22 year old car that the check engine light is now turned off.  Not every Jeep Wrangler (2002 TJ) Owner can say that.

The Computer?  I'm back on it, as you can see.  Feet up on the couch creating a divot on the arm just like always.

On the other hand the version of Debian will tick over so the Testing version I am on becomes "Stable" in summer.  Until then, I just run in parallel like I am here.  Encrypted hard drive, testing operating system, and all.

Had I had any sort of a command prompt I'd look for the following:

From the command prompt, make sure your encrypted disk is at least readable.  Mine was not, it booted directly into the Bios which meant I was stuffed.

In /dev/mapper there are files pointing to your encrypted hard disks. 

fsck -y /dev/mapper/ (your disk names)

Then try a reboot.  If you are successful you will end up at your normal desktop.  If not, find your back up drive and do a restore.

You did do a backup right?

Ok, now that you are back, this command will force a fsck (file system check) on your hard drives when you reboot next time. 

sudo touch /forcefsck

Sunday, February 25, 2024

What did they yell at Edgar Allen Poe to stop him from walking into the oak? Poetry!

 A little Canadian Content.  I started the day listening to the news on CBC Radio 1, via the internet.  I'd rather be using one of my shortwave radios, but here in South Florida in this day and age, it's very doubtful that can happen.



A couple were driving through Canada on their way out west.

After a while it became clear they had made a wrong turn and got lost. The wife consulted the road map but couldn't figure out where they were. They were driving along a rural road when they saw a farmer standing by the road.

"I'll pull over and see if he can help," the husband says.

He gets out of the car and asks the farmer "My wife and I seem to have taken a wrong turn. Can you tell me where we are?"

"Saskatoon, Saskatchewan," the farmer replies.

The husband gets back in the car.

"Well, where are we?" the wife asks.

"I don't know. He doesn't speak English," the husband replies.

Saturday, February 24, 2024

I used to be a baker but I couldn't make enough dough.

So last week was sourdough, this week's topic is a really good brioche?

Oh and if you fry it, it makes an amazing yeast risen donut, but don't come crying to me that your belt is getting too tight!

(Trust me, that is an awesome recipe) But now onto today's story...


Centipede

So one morning a guy walks into a pet store. He tells the pet store owner "I want a pet but I want one that is utilitarian, and can help me do things. I am single and would love some extra help." The pet store owner says "you need a centipede. They will do anything. They are very loyal and understand instruction."

He takes home a centipede. Later, around noon the guy is relaxing in his recliner, the centipede is hanging out on the couch, the guys says "centipede, clean the living room." Within minutes the living room is spotless. A little bit later, the guy says "centipede, fix me a sandwich for lunch." The centipede goes into the kitchen and within minutes has a nicely constructed sandwich before the owner.

As the man starts to eat his sandwich, he realizes he has nothing to drink. He says "centipede, go to the end of the block, to the store and get me a soda." The centipede walks out of the house. An hour passes and the centipede is nowhere to be found. Knowing that the store is only a block away the man gets worried and decides to go find the centipede.

When the man opens his front door he sees the centipede on his front porch. The man says "Where have you been? I told you an hour ago to get me a soda? " The centipede says "Hey man, I am putting on my shoes."


Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Rack, The Vet Said You Can Walk, It Doesn't Mean You HAVE To Sniff EVERYTHING!


 I admit it.  The short walks were annoying.

I'm from Philadelphia (Area).  We walk EVERYWHERE.  I am one of the few people who has actually worn more than one pair of sneakers through the sole to the cardboard on the sub-sole below it.  Above it?  I'm not sure.  You think that through.  The ball of the foot, the heel, I know where my step is because of where the shoes are worn through.

Others from the Philadelphia (Area) are welcome to sit on the bench.  A Typical Day for me is to walk 3 miles (5 Km) plus.  I learned that at the time Philadelphia was the fattest city in the nation while I was in the middle of a set on the Pec Deck on Nautilus.  I laughed at the irony and continued my set.

When I was told that we had to walk Rack only short distances, he's on No Tail Wagging Rest, I was confused.  It took a visit to the vet and get growled at by staff to change things. 

Rack has his stitches out.  He has a pink spot "on his butt" where they were, and he has fur growing back.  But he is back to being allowed to walk "normally".  Which means now I have my walking partner back and can just "go".

So that day I did my usual 3 Miles or so.  Every damn tree.  "Come on, Boy, you already sniffed that plant!"

Oh wait, it's been two weeks, a couple downpours, a "micro-burst" of a tornado and a lot of weather in the interim.  New dogs, new things to sniff.  Even most of the flowers from the blooming Mango trees have been blown down.

*grumble* Well, at least we can get a proper walk in!

I know we're now on Perpetual Hospice.  We'll never know until it happens whether we got all the cancer out.  But for now, it's back to "normal".  It's not just a setting on the washer, it's a comfortable routine.

I guess I am lucky that I don't live "Out West" where The McNab Dogs roam.  They're smart enough to know that indoors is where the beds are warm, and the couches are comfy so many McNabs just walk away from the farm and "get lost" by their choice.  I'd have a pack of them.  Regardless of what the Ranchers say, there are some McNabs that are Working Dogs In Name Only.

Except... those Working Dogs will find their own Job.  Mine has us.  That's just fine.  He fits in well with our lives.  Even if I have to clean up after him after two solid weeks of changing him into Doggy Depends diapers and he's got the Cone Of Healing on now, it is nice not to have to be on High Alert.

We'll take that and run with it.


Sunday, February 18, 2024

Sourdough is like regular dough except it holds grudges and hates seeing other doughs become successful.

 I have tried, oh my have I tried.  My Sourdough Mother never quite turns out right.  *pout*.  I guess conditions aren't quite right.

Anyway...



A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast.
On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane,"
by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister.

She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on.

She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day."
Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed."

The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see mother superior.
She asks mother superior, "Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed when I feel great and...

Mother superior says,"That is because you have brother Johns shoes on."

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.

After reading many stories all based on what we think a Genie would do, or what the results would be had we encountered one - and granted Genies don't exist - I think the best way to handle things is to just walk away.. 

But that's boring and safe, right?   You wouldn't do that nor would I but hey it is safe!


 
Three Men Find a Genie

Three men were walking along the street when one of them spotted an old lamp on the side of the road. Picking it up and rubbing it they were surprised to find a genie appear.
"You get one wish," The genie said. "I offer wealth, wisdom or power."
"I choose wealth." Said the first man.
"I choose power," said the second.
"I choose wisdom," said the third.


Many years later the men met again at a diner to discuss the results of their wishes.
The first man spoke. "I wish I chose power," he said. "I had money but I was robbed and it was all stolen."
The second man spoke. "I wish I chose wisdom," he said regretfully. "I had power but was betrayed by the people I trusted and lost it all."
The third man spoke. "I wish I had money. Do you know how hard it is to get paid for telling people how to actually solve their problems?"
Then all of them realized that none of the others had any cash and they ran off without paying the bill, but the wise man took off running first.

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Sedation Reaction In Dogs - Run Run Run Thump is Not Far From True

 

Rack was diagnosed with Cancer.  Left side of the tail Gland, and while you may raise an eyebrow at that, it is where it happened.  I don't want the search results to be ruined by using the clinical term for the location of it, and for this discussion, it's not completely required.

Just think of Expressing That Gland In The Butt.  On the left, specifically.  If you mention that line to a vet or a vet tech they will tell you exactly which gland.

He went in and the surgeon believes that he got all the cancer out, which is the best you can hope for in a 12 year old McNab SuperDog (TM).  That does not give me a prognosis.  It only puts Rack on something that I describe as Permanent Hospice Care since he could easily live 16 years or more, or just 16 weeks more. 

We.
Just.
Won't.
Know.

(For dramatic emphasis.)

Anyway, what happened is that Rack has always been tough to sedate.  As in he's been stitched back together when a pit bull attacked him standing rigid on a table full of meds.  Three times the expected rate of sedation for a normal dog of his size.  He simply did not go to sleep. 

And before you get on me for Breed Specific Behavior - it was a Pit Bull, so save your pontificating.  Oh and get off your own platform as you are getting a nose bleed.  There are a lot of irresponsible dog owners out there.  The owner solved the problem by moving away.  Vanishing.

So stuff your attitude.

Fast forward to today.  Rack came home from being sedated.  My "Very Reputable Veterinary Hospital was amazed at "How Much Sedation We Had To Put Into Him Before He Went Under".  Yeah we know, and that was why we warned you.

They brought him out.  He looked like a cartoon character.  Cone of Healing on, Doggie Depends Diaper on, legs not getting traction so he was galloping down the hall.  His pupils were so dilated that they were reflecting light from down the hallway.

Oh he was trippin' balls, as they say!

We got him home.  It was as if the episode of the Paul Reiser show "Mad About You" had cast Murray the Collie in my house.  You know, where Murray was obsessed with a mouse in the walls of the apartment and was running around the entire episode trying to get the thing.  "Run, Run, Run, Thump!" as Murray collided with a wall or a piece of furniture.  Strange, annoying, bizarre, whatever you want to call the behavior.  Season 2, Episode 2, Mad About You, called "Bing, Bang, Boom" for however long that link lasts.  Definitely worth a watch if you like Paul Reiser like I do. 

No Dogs were Harmed in filming the episode, he said so at the end of it.

This was what we went through that night. 

 

Youtube links do not last forever, so watch it while you can - Bill, Feb 14, 2024

For about 6 hours until Rack wore himself out and the night medications (Tramadol plus Gabapentin) kicked in, he was going around the house, cone and diaper on, and banging into things.  Then he'd back up, turn around, and return repeating the path.

The only other time I saw something like this was on an "Animal Documentary" where an Antelope was walking around in circles, compulsively, due to a parasite.  The predators of the area stopped that behavior, eventually. 

Rack's imitation of Murray stopped around 10 PM and we were able to get a few hours of sleep.

So if you are back from your Vet Visit, and your dog is compulsively and excessively pacing your house, what we did was to give him more.  Literally another Tramadol tablet brought him down to the point where he could sleep.  Turning off the lights kept him asleep.  The next day he did not need any more sedation for a while, until the second meal and the broken stitches meant we had to go back to the vet for a "repair".

It has been a rough road.  Rack is healing.  He has been under medication and some of those are sedating, for a week and a half now.  The first few days were frankly quite dirty.  Blood and gore flying when he would shake.  Any time you operate that far down the intestines, you will get all sorts of infections, and he is on some pretty strong antibiotics right now. 

But we're hopeful, and we're watching, and that is about all we can do for now.

Wish us luck.