Proof that every miss universe contest is fixed. Think about it; every winner has come from Earth.

I never managed to have musical ability "take" in me.  Oh sure, I can mix music tracks, the software we have these days makes it trivial, and I even did a project in college doing the DJ thing with some extended mixes of vinyl.  But an instrument?  A Bagpipe? 

No way. 




 Bagpiper

A bagpiper was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As the bagpiper was not familiar with the backwoods area he became lost.

He finally arrived an hour late and saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

He apologized to the workers for his tardiness, then stepped to the side of the open grave where he saw the vault lid already in place.

He assured the workers he would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch.

The piper played out his heart and soul.

As he played, the workers began to weep. He played everything from "Going Home" and "The Lord is My Shepherd", to "Flowers of the Forest", closing with "Amazing Grace.”

He then packed up his bagpipes and walked back to his car.

As he drove off, one of the workers said to another, "Sweet Jesus Mary and Joseph, I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been puttin’ in septic tanks for twenty years!"