What do you call an owl who watches children? A hootin-nanny

How about a little Malicious Compliance?   I may have posted this before, if so, you get what you pay for! 



 A drinking story


On a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood pub, the police noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles he finally managed to find his own car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes as several other patrons left the bar and drove off.   Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn, and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles.   At last, when almost everyone had left, he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.

The officer, having patiently waited all this time, started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all.   Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”

“I doubt it,” answered the man. Tonight I’m the designated decoy. The rest all got away.”