Quick Sourdough Bread Recipe - Fixing the Bread Machine's Recipe

I promise I'll keep my text brief.  

The resulting bread had a crispy crust, a soft crumb, and a tart flavor.

When I was making this recipe, it came up much too dry.  So I started adding back in water.  Usually for a 1 1/2 pound loaf, you don't need to add in as much water as I did, but at the end I added in 2 extra ounces of water.

It could be measuring error.  Too much flour could cause a dry and ragged dough. I don't think so.

So the "fixed" recipe is what I have below, and that is the picture we have of the rolls.  I also used Greek Yogurt which may well explain why it was a dry dough.

Ingredients:  

• 1/2 cup plain nonfat yogurt - I used Greek yogurt, therefore water is adjusted
• 2/3 cup warm water - plus 2 extra ounces or 4 Tablespoons
• 1 Tablespoon Lemon Juice
• 1 Tablespoon Margarine or Butter, softened
• 3 1/4 cup All Purpose Flour
• 1 Tablespoon Sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1 3/4 teaspoon yeast

Process:

• Add the ingredients in order to the mixing bowl with the dough hook.
• Alternately add this to the Bread Machine Bucket.
• Either use the Bread Machine's Bake cycle.
• Or the Bread Machine's Dough cycle - My Preferred method.
• Allow the dough 1 hour to proof and rise in a warm space.
• Bake at 400 for up to 22 minutes.
• The Original Recipe is below however I recommend using above text recipe because it was wonderful and raised properly.

What do you call a doctor who specializes in Adam’s apples? A guy-neck-ologist.

I have to wonder if this business of carrying a smart phone makes any sense.  Other than talking to Doctors, I rarely get a voice call any more.  Oh wait, how else will I get spam calls from politicians or texts from people wanting to sell me crap.

Then again, how else would I listen to Classic Disco on the workouts for tempo?  

Ok, lets try this again, I'll get my Golden Telephone and go to the park.




 The Golden Telephone

A man was touring all the great cathedrals of Europe. He starts in Notre-Dame, and he is confused to see a golden telephone on a marble pillar. He asks the bishop what is for.

"Oui, monsieur. Zat ees a direct line to 'eaven. Pour one thousand Euros, you may speak weeth Dieu."

The man rolls his eyes and moves on.

Later on in Cologne, he sees the same thing. The Bishop gives him the same answer:

"Ja, mein Herr. Zis iss a direct line to Himmel. Fur ein tousand Euros, you may sprechen mit Gott."

Later on in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome, he's shocked and disappointed to see the same thing. The Cardinal tells him, "Si, signore. Dat isa directa linea to Paradiso. For one thousand Euro, you cana talka to God."

Utterly disgusted by the profiteering, he finishes his tour at a tiny chapel in Scotland.

To his shock, he sees another golden telephone on a marble pillar. "Lemme guess, a thousand pounds to talk to god?"

"Nae, lad. 20 pence."

"What? Everywhere else in Europe it was a thousand euros?"

"Aye, but ye're in Scotland, noow, lad. It's a local call."

I have an archaeology joke, but I'll need to dig it out.

 Actually, it's landscaping.  If the heat isn't too bad, I have what we call here an "Evil Weed Eater".  It came in with three kind of blades.  Plastic rigid blade, Metal rigid blade. The Buzz Saw blade.

That Buzz Saw blade reminds me of something you would see in a saw mill in an action-horror movie where your hero is being threatened with demise on a plank heading to a giant rotating blade that is making an evil whirring sound.

In my case, it's just the Iguana Resistant Hibiscus and the Podocarpus that is going to be trimmed.  In 90 Degree (32C) heat and 85% humidity.

I'm trained for it, but dang it is hot.

Remember to hydrate, Fellow Babies, the next four weeks are Peak Summer in the Northern Hemisphere!





A man did not like his wife’s cat.

One day, he put the cat in his car and took it to the end of the block and let it go.

When he got home he saw that the cat had beat him home.

Undeterred, he put the cat in the car and took it a few miles across the city and let it out of the car again.

Upon returning home, he was astonished to see that the cat had beat him home again.

Determined at this point, the man took the cat and drove him across the city, over the river, through the woods, and clear across three counties before putting the cat outside and driving off.

Several hours later the man’s wife was at home when the phone rang. She picked up and it was her husband.

“Is the cat there?” He asked.

“Yes…” she replied.

“Well put him on the phone, I’m lost”



I'm not exactly fond of the subject matter of that, Cats should remain indoors at all times unless on a leash or a carrier lest they run into "that guy".

Keep your loved ones safe, two legs or four.

Weather in this part of Florida is ... Weird. This Wet Bulb thing is burning my fingers.

I spend a lot of time in a parking lot.  Oh, not just any parking lot, but one with a lot to watch.  

Giant Gas Bags.
Golfers pretending they're in a competition.
Dog Walkers.
Clueless Karens.

Shall I go on?  I am entertained by the list, myself.

Pompano Beach Air Park.  It's a one mile square, so there is a bit more than a square mile of land there.  Big, and that's what you need to know about it.  Metric?  Big In Square Meters.  That's close enough.

It was a World War 2 Military Air Port.  I believe it was a municipal airport before then, and after the War it was returned to the city.  They didn't want an International Airport there interrupting fishing, so they lopped off some runway length and are quite happy with what they have.

Who am I to complain, they were wise enough to put in a multi use trail around it over the years, and it is one of the main reasons why I settled in South Florida.

No, really, being near to a ribbon of asphalt is important to my happiness.  I have spent many hours going around in large circles there in my two sports.

But being in a sport that takes me more than 2 hours to get finished, and sometimes more than 3 hours, means I have to watch which direction the winds are coming from at KPMP.  

Standing in that parking lot, staring at the gas bag starting to come out of the hangar lets me know if the winds are going to be punishing.  There is a big windsock on top of the building and it can give you a rough idea of wind speed and direction.  

That changes in the morning.  Since it is Summer and this is "Tropics Adjacent".  You see, Downtown Fort Lauderdale is only a few miles away so that sets up a heat island and usually around 10 AM, the winds begin to shift.  The ocean is only about 2 miles away from anywhere you really want to be in this area.  Considering that temperatures are moderated by the ocean, it is markedly cooler here than it is in the middle of the state.  

I have only noticed it get to 96F/35.5C here.  I have personally been in Orlando when it was over 104F/40C and believe me, you don't really want to do that.  Putting all those Theme Parks in the middle of an area pockmarked with little lakes has me scratching my head on the best of days.

But here, what all these influences mean is that weather comes from just about any direction at any moment.  

Right now, there is a Tropical Storm gathering up power in the Northeastern Gulf of MEXICO.  It is too far from here to see any direct effects, but the winds have been variable and heading generally toward the center of circulation.

Florida is "Flatter Than Kansas", along with many other metaphors you have heard over the years.

The short answer is that rains can come from any direction, at any time.  When I was growing up Up North, if it was starting to rain "now" it would probably still be raining a couple hours from now.  Storms came from the West and were fairly predictable.  I'm thinking with Global Warming, that may have changed.

Here you require a good Radar map and need to learn to read it depending on your own plans.  Every break I stop and check the Radar.  Roughly every hour.

Since rains can do a nasty to my workouts, and the bearings in my skates or my bike wheels, you end up doing Radar Math.  Winds are driving the pop up storms from the South, you will get wet.  

This link will show you information for Pompano Beach.  At the moment, it is 90F, Sunny, and Hot, and the site tells me that I should do nothing outdoors.  Black Flag Warning.  

I'm sure it is.  2pm on a Sunny July day in Florida.  

Excuse me, I'm going to get another glass of ice water.

The last workout, a storm formed just south of the park.  I knew it was there, but took a chance.  It was moving East to West and growing.  So I needed to go North.  Right decision.  Sure it got windy and gusty for a bit, but while that pop up hit the park, it only hit the South and West sides of the big square.  By the time I got to the South side of the park, it had moved West into the Over The Turnpike areas and had done its fun.  

I tell people that I have seen it rain in my front yard from the pool in the back yard.  I have also seen it decide to rain in the back yard and not the front.  From the same storm.

So if you are coming on down, it can be cooler in Fort Lauderdale than in Fort Wayne or Philadelphia in High Summer.  

Just not necessarily today. Today, I need sunblock to get my mail.

So remember to use sunscreen, like everyone says.  Have your fun in the sun before 10AM or after 4PM.  Bring plenty of water.

No I mean that last bit, heat exhaustion and dehydration are dangerous.  There is this thing called WBGT that we're being told to follow.  If the humidity and heat are too high for you to be safe out there on an athletic activity, go indoors.

Today I learned if you turn a canoe over you can wear it as a hat. Because it's Cap Sized.

This little story reminds me that if I ever had a chance to have another dog, I'd have to put "Talking Buttons" out in the house.  We have a bell on the back door for our boy Rack to ask to be left out but I can't hear it from the front room.

Dang it, Rack, Ring it Louder!  :)






 A traveling salesman breaks down on a country road.


He goes to the only farmhouse he can see. As he approaching the porch, a dog sits up and says "good afternoon, how are you?"

"OH my, you can talk!"

" Yeah, I discovered that I could talk when I was a puppy. The government found out about me and trained me to spy for them. Who would think the dog in the room was listening and reporting back what was said? I traveled the world several times over, sometimes helping to stop a war, and sometimes to start one. It was all very exciting but I finally decided to settle down here at this farmhouse and spend my remaining days on this peaceful porch."

"WOW, that's amazing!"

The salesman knocks on the door and asks the farmer if he's interested in selling the dog.

"Sure, I'll take 10 bucks for him."

"Why so little, you do know he can talk?

"Yeah, I know, but he's a liar. He's never been off this porch!"

I have a chemistry joke, but it’s too basic.

You know, waking up at 445 on a Saturday to fight the heat, circle a giant gas bag, and sweat is fine.  It is just the Karens I could do without!  

If you see a tall guy out there looking wrung out but laughing at his rubber duck board shorts, that just might be me!


Just had to get that out of the way.  But hey there is always this, right?




The Indian with a great memory

There was once a man and a woman driving through the desert to Las Vegas on their honeymoon when they came across an Indian teepee with a sign out front that read:

“Indian with amazing memory inside! The husband says to his fiancée, “What the heck, let’s stop and check it out.” So they go inside, and the man asks the Indian, “What did you eat for breakfast three years ago?” Without missing a beat, the Indian replies, “Eggs.” The man looks at his fiancée and says, “Wow… that’s an incredible memory,” and they continue on their trip.

Ten years later, now married with kids, the family happens to be traveling through the same desert. They spot the very same teepee. Excited, the husband says to his kids, “Your mom and I stopped here ten years ago! Let’s go see if he remembers me.” So the whole family goes inside. Trying to be funny, the husband raises his hand and says, “How.”

The Indian looks at him calmly and replies: “scrambled”

Why Did I Buy Barbie's Electric Chainsaw?

I had been poking around on Temu.  In the past I have bought a few things and learned that you can use it well, but you do have to watch how you read the descriptions. 

I am also finding that the same vendors are on Amazon, and at a higher price.  I'm not exactly a rich person, so I will cut that middleman out wherever I can.  The "Scrabble Tiles Thrown At A Wall" company brands are on both sites.

I get thrown off by the dimensions.  Metric throws me at times, and I bake in both Metric and Imperial.  My workouts are in Imperial but the individual parts are in Metric.  I am Large in US size, in Chinese size I am 2XL or 3XL.

And so forth.

The last batch of odds and ends was delayed in transit and I was given a pair of $5 consolation prizes for a total of $10.  Nice touch.

The Mango Tree forced this last purchase.  I was outside with a common garden pruner snipping away at some branches.  Mango Tree had finished fruiting for the year and every year it needs to be trimmed way back or else it will take over the yard and become a monster.

It grew from a "man sized" hat rack to about as tall as the house's roof since last year's trimming.  I think it hit the ground water table.

That $10 Temu credit came to mind.  I was outside sweating in the morning heat, filling up my blue trash can, and trying to think of a better way to do it.

When I came in and got cleaned up, I sat down at the laptop.  My email had a status that my shipment had gotten through customs and is sitting at a regional hub.  At the bottom of the email was a bunch of helpful suggestions for future purchases.

A $11 chainsaw.  How on earth?  

Ok, I was drawn in, I looked at the specs on the thing.  6 Inch Chainsaw.  That made me raise an eyebrow.  I looked at my hand.  From tip to wrist, that is close enough to 6 inches to use as an estimate.  Thinking that I will have some wrist sized branches to trim back the lightbulb went on.

Barbie's Electric Chainsaw just may work.

Of course I went looking for the cheapest price and found it as well as a collection of tools that went with a weed eater and the same kind of batteries.  Both were ordered.  

Barbie's Electric Chainsaw (in blue) basically cost me $1 plus $3 shipping.  Yoink!

I am still waiting on the weed eater.  It comes with a twee little 4 inch in diameter metal saw blade as well and there is some brush that needs leveling as well as my Podocarpus Hedge that will get attended to.

So a ludicrously small battery electric chainsaw.  It actually worked on a thumb sized branch before I came in.  My Mango Tree "trimming" will happen.

Actually it will happen in the morning that I don't have a workout or an appointment, and needs to happen before 10AM.  It's what I can call "high summer" in South Florida, and as an athlete, I am having an education on what it means to avoid heat exhaustion.  This heat has spiked my resting heart rate, sent it from a normal for me 52 to a high of 58 yesterday.  

When I go out there to trim my tree, it will be in the morning, and with a giant glass of water.  Ice Water.

Remember to hydrate!

Coffee with vanilla soy milk is actually just a 3 bean soup.

I have been looking for a reason to go on a vacation.  Since I am getting rather settled, I'm thinking I'll leave things as they are.




A woman cheats on her husband after years of happy marriage

Realizing her mistake, she starts praying to God. "Lord, I know what I did was wrong, but my marriage is the only thing that gives my life purpose and joy. Please, don't let my husband find out."

Suddenly she hears a voice from above: "Okay my child, it will be, but on one condition: years from now, you will die by drowning."

The woman hesitates at first but then responds, "Alright Lord, if it means he'll never find out, then so be it."

The next years of her life are happy and wonderful. She starts a successful business and lives in comfort with her husband, however, she continues to cheat on him many times, having forgotten her conversation with God.

One day she decides to book herself a vacation on a cruise ship. A few days into the voyage, a loud BOOM rocks the cruise ship, and it starts to sink. Suddenly remembering her agreement with God, she is struck with grief and begins frantically praying to God again:

"God, you're not gonna drown an entire cruise ship full of people because of me, right?"

She hears a familiar voice: "Are you kidding me? I've been working to gather all you cheaters here for years."

That's all folks !!!

My dog ate a deck of cards, the vet says that he'll deal with him later.

 They must have been on the coffee table.  Rack goes there every time I leave the coffee table and searches for crumbs.

Not really but hey, it makes for a good story, right?



 A young college student takes a few writing courses and discovers he has a great talent for it. He had majored in something more sensible, but decides he has to be a writer. The only problem is he has no idea how to make a living at it...

...so he asks his professor and he’s told there’s only one man in town who has actually made his living as a writer. A meeting is arranged for the two, and the student sits down with old writer, who looks to be in his 90s, but has had many books and essays published.

The student asks, “I’m not foolish enough to think I can get rich, but how can I be a working writer like you?”

“My boy,” the old writer says, “your youth is a time for ideals, passions, dreams and hopes. To be a writer, however, is to forsake all of these things. Your reality will be one of deprivation and hunger. There will be loneliness - endless loneliness - for writing is perhaps the loneliest profession of all. You will never be sure if you are a great thinker or merely caught in the grip of madness. But if you must write, and you never give up, and you continue to perfect your craft despite resigning yourself to a life of hunger, loneliness, and poverty, by the time you’re fifty, something wonderful happens.”

“Really? What happens when I turn fifty?”

“You get used to it!”

Betty's Dish Made It To Sarasota, Florida. Or did it?

Back in the day.  Once upon a time.  

There were three sisters.  Mary, was the youngest.  Betty and Millie.

The three sisters used to get together and make insane amounts of food in their various kitchens and share it.  

Mostly with Mary and Betty.  I did not really know that Millie was as frequent a beneficiary of these potlucks as Mary was.

Mary was my mother.  Betty and Millie were my aunts.

Very strong women.  Forces of Nature.  Italian women.  Family lore said that Mary only spoke Italian until she was 7 years old and still could speak a little by the time I was 7 years old.

Typical immigrant story, you are expected to integrate into the larger culture as much as possible.

For better or worse.

Regardless of languages, these women made some amazing food.  From family tradition, they would make plenty of Italian Specialties.  It's a large family, they were always feeding each other.

In fact, I could not get properly fit until I moved out from Mary's house.  Getting fit is a habit I kept to this day.  

Aggressively, assertively.

Once Mary was preparing a meal at her house with the fill in from Betty.  You know, cooperative cooking can be fun and there were some things that Mary did not make as well as Betty did.

That was Betty speaking.  I couldn't vouch for that, but I did know how it would get to Mary's Kitchen.  White Corning Oven Safe Casserole dish.  Cornflower Blue flower pattern on the side.

Really everything was so good that I did not want to get in the middle of this contest of "My Sauce Is Better Than Yours".  I did know that since we were in Philadelphia Area, our Amoroso's Rolls were better than what I had when I went to Betty's house in Queens, NY.

Finast, Indeed.  

I would take some stew meat called Bracciola or a piece of Italian Sausage and put it in a Hoagie Roll with plenty of that sauce and dust with excellent Parmesan and be in heaven.  I am still burning those calories many years later.

The meal was a success.  Mom really did like having her sister down, even if they were two cut from the same cloth.  Both were a force of nature level of strength.  I knew that eventually I'd hear one or the other yelling and it would be a "Discussion".  A Loud Discussion.

I'd disappear at that point either into the basement or into the garage and busy myself with something appropriate and let the dust settle until I was called for dinner.

After the visit there was a call.  Betty thought that she had forgotten Her Dish.  White Corningware with Cornflower on the side.  You know the one, blue flower.  

Mom tore apart her kitchen and could not find it.  I got drafted into looking myself.

We decided to let it rest.  Betty didn't.  After all, it wouldn't be Family Lore if it didn't recur.

The next visit Betty sheepishly said she is still looking for her dish.  We let her go through all of the cabinets and she did not find it.  

The next visit and onward for years, Betty still muttered about the dish.  It confused us all because we all looked through the house and at her house and in the cars and in the various things that went bump in the night.

Mom died first, and when Betty visited to say her goodbye, we told her to look again through the house for her dish.  Take what you like.  Still no dish.  Not in any of the cabinets.

My sister and I were bemused by the entire thing.  It simply was not around at any of the houses.

Fast forward to a visit that I paid to Betty.  She had moved to a house on the spine of Long Island in the city of Lake Ronkonkoma.  Before I went I had found a similar piece at a thrift store with a lid.  Rather nice casserole that I kept for years as a key to start the engine to this story at will.  

We called it "Betty's Dish" with a smile.

I brought that dish to Betty and immediately she said "Well, that's not my dish.  I wish I had mine."  Laughing I offered it to her and she didn't want it since she was beginning to minimize her house in the aftermath of the move.  "It wouldn't match my set".

We never did find that dish until now.

I get a picture texted to me of a cabinet.  As far as I am concerned, the dish had gotten moved from New Jersey, to New York, magically broke on my floor and re-materialized and now moved to Sarasota, Florida.  A friend of mine was visiting a friend of his and said "Hey, here's Betty's Dish!".

I even suggested he bring it home since I thought from the picture that it was in a thrift but no, it was in someone's house and they would miss it since it completed a set.

That would be a little too close to home, as now Betty's Dish would be missing in two places.

So we do know that Betty's Dish is not in my house since my dish expired due to "Deceleration Trauma" on a rather solid floor in my farm house in Philadelphia.  It is not in Sarasota because that was not Betty's Dish".

Hey!  But it could be!

Now you know the tale.  Every time I see a Cornflower Corning Baking Dish, I get a wry smile and point it out to people and say "There's Betty's Dish!".

It is a shame because it's a great size for making casseroles and breads.  But there's always a chance I'll stumble across another one of Betty's Dish.

It's only smell if it comes from the Ol' Factory, otherwise it's just sparkling odor.

After the "festivities" last night, the air quality here is pretty bad.  There's a haze lingering and I am hoping for a sea breeze to set up at 10 AM as usual, and maybe a line of T Storms would help.





  Cinderella is shipwrecked. She washes up on a barren, rocky island in the middle of the ocean.

There's nothing on the island, not trees or animals or even grass. Cinderella starts to cry. "Oh, what will I do?"

Then POOF! Her Fairy Godmother appears.

"Oh thank goodness!" Says Cinderella. "Fairy Godmother, I need your help again! Please get me off this desert island and back safely to land!"

"Oh, deary me!" Says the Fairy Godmother. "Unfortunately, my magic can only turn things into other things. I could make one of these rocks into a ship to sail you home, and some other rocks into sailors, but it would be a journey of many weeks, and they'd all turn back into rocks at the stroke of midnight and you'd drown! I think I will have to fly across the ocean myself and try to convince a ship to sail out to rescue you! But it will take days, or possibly weeks, and you might starve in the meantime. So here is what I will do. I will give you some of my magic."

Zippity zoop! The Fairy Godmother waves her wand at Cinderella.

"There. Now, all you need to do is point at something and say a type of food, and that thing will turn into that food and so you will be able to stay fed and healthy until I can return."

"Oh, thank you, Fairy Godmother!" Cinderella says. "Let me try it out right now!" She points at a nearby rock. "You are a roast turkey."

POOF! The rock turns into a perfectly cooked roast turkey, smelling delicious. Delighted, Cinderella points at a seashell. "You're a milkshake!"

POOF! The seashell turns into a milkshake.

"Oh wow!" Cinderella says, "This is wonderful. Thank you so much, Fairy Godmother, you're a lifesaver!"

POOF!

I have a history joke, but it’s too old.

 You can tell this is a joke.  Generous Lawyer?  Who would have thought...




 Generous Lawyer

A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two women along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one woman, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor women replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a husband and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor women he stated, "You come with us also." The second woman, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a husband and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the stretched limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"

Pre Workout Dog Walk and Serenity on the Block

 I have a very regimented life.

In order to get to the park to get the workout in, I am up well before dawn.  This sets up the day.

I try to be at the park, on the bike before 8AM.  Because, Florida is Hot.  Air Conditioning runs 12 months in a year with a 2 to 4 week breather in February.

Two hours of cardio in that kind of condition means I pick and choose what I can do and on which day.  I was there early enough because I was out of bed at 4:40 this morning.

Go out to the yard in boxer shorts, start the irrigation for the flowers, let the dog irrigate his own plants.  

Catch the 5AM news on CBC or BBC hoping for some positive news.  Not today.  Fires and Evacuations in the Northwest Territories of Canada, Venezuela's rescue efforts continue, the Japanese Yen is "devalued".

I feed the dog and get ready to go out on the first walk of the day.

Meanwhile, I have a pre-dawn conversation.  Most mornings I have a chat with a good friend of mine, 1200 miles away.

She knows that I get back into the house after the walk and need a carbo-load.  Got to fuel up for the day.

As I step out into the morning, I see "be safe" on my phone.

That's a given, but thank you.  I step out and all is quiet.  I take a picture and send it along.

"This looks serene".
"Yes, it does" 

That is this neighborhood at 5:40 in the morning.  Most neighborhoods should be similar.  Quiet.  Serene.  That serenity helps me clear my mind for the day.

We continue the conversation, advising, and preparing.  She knows that I'll get home and finish preparing for the future cycling marathon.

But 1200 miles away, we are there for each other.

Hot, though the day was, it also allowed me to get in 27.6 miles on the bike.  No Trail Karens, not too many "On Yer Left" announcements.   I even managed to find a tree ripened mango for breakfast.

All in all it was a good morning.