Sunday, November 28, 2021

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.

Ok, maybe not a sad story.  A bit devious but maybe not sad!  You know how those fishermen are...

A sad story

The day after his mother-in-law disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced RCMP officers.

"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your mother-in-law," said one of the officers.

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.

The Mounties looked at each other.

One said, "We have some bad news , some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."

The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your mother-in-law's body in the bay."

"Lord sufferin' Jaysus!" exclaimed Flynn.

Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

Saturday, November 27, 2021

Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon? Because she will “let it go, let it go.”

So I've been told that people still think you can open a window in a jet.  Silly puppies!

During a flight in a private jet, three millionaires are talking: an American, an Arab Sheik and a Brazilian.

At a certain point in the travel, they wanted to know where in the world they are. But the American has an idea and says: "I think we are in New York. Let me confirm" 

So he opens his window (believe me, it was a very modern airplane) and put his arm out. "I was right. Just touched the torch of the Statue of Liberty!" 

They close the window and continue traveling. Some hours later, the same question appears again, and the Arab says: "I think we're in Dubai. Lemme check." He opens the window and put his arm out. "Yes, Dubai it is! I've touched the pinnacle of the Burj Khalifa!"

Later on, the same question. The Brazilian finally said: "My turn. I'm sure we're in Rio now." He opens the window and put his arm out.

"Yes, as I said. We're in Rio, my friends!"

"Did you touch the Christ, didn't you?"

"Absolutely not. My hand doesn't reach anything"

"So how do you know we're in Rio?"

"That was easy. When I pulled my arm back my Rolex was gone!"

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Back To Endurance Inline Skating Workouts A Year After The Accident To The Day

 A Year Ago to the date of that picture, at that spot, I had fallen and broke my clavicle.

Today... I'm back, Baby!

Anniversaries are a strange thing.  As a society, we have a concept of time that weaves with the fabric of life.  You then step back, remember, and move on.  They are, however what you personally make of it.

I pointed at it, made rude noises, a few rude gestures, and went past it with a 20 mile per hour (33 kph) head wind at about 11 miles per hour (18kph).

I celebrated that exact moment by holding up a camera and taking pictures while in a "Hound and Hare" race with a person on "Roller Skis" and the rest of the people on the trails.

I'll admit it, I enjoy surprising people when I pass by them at speed.

You see that was the spot it happened.  That little collection of trees against the trails has a tree with a nasty seed pod that hits the ground, explodes, and sends shrapnel all over the place.  That happened that day, November 23, 2020, right as I went under the tree.  One of the pieces that was about as long and thick as my finger, and knocked me to the ground.   

I was going MUCH faster that day.  You see, I had finally worn out my old speed skates, my old fitness skates, and used up almost all of the old "backstock" of wheels from the time when I was skating three hyper-marathons per week on the trails in Philadelphia on the Schuylkill River Trail up until I moved to Florida in 2006.  I had run out of the "MilSpec" duct tape that I was using to keep the boot liners together and I was well overdue for a full replacement.

I found my new skates online, Rollerblade Twister Edge X, and waited about a month to get the things.  Supply lines were unstable then and unstable now.

I don't really recommend buying inline skates online without trying them out unless you are extremely careful, and getting them involved drawing a tracing of my foot on paper and measuring them in millimeters (280) and rounding up to the next size (290).

Oddly, they fit quite well although I will be heat molding the boot ... some day.  Hard Boots for Distance, Soft Boots won't hold up to the punishment, over the thousands of Miles.

Hey, I just want to skate.

Yesterday, November 23, 2021, I did.  Actually since I got those boots, I skated as soon as I was allowed by the Doctor, and have done only 560 miles (933 Km) since then this year.  Between Covid filling the emergency wards, High Summer in Florida cutting back distance, and rain, I have been holding the distance back to more moderate levels.

Those skates came with some amazing wheels and bearings that were much faster than the run of the mill skates.  That contributed to the fall, I had a tail wind that day and the rolling was easy.  Public trails in the US tend to be groomed but only to a point.  The trail I use is groomed first thing on a Monday, and I was out early on that Monday a year ago. 

Since I had not been sponsored since the very early 2000s before the sport collapsed, I wanted to be very careful with what I was getting.  That single white wheel is one I would love to get more of.  The Rollerblade Hydrogens that came with the boot are awesome.  Far better than the low end green ones I got online.  I usually laugh at anything that describes themselves as "Premium" because these days it means nothing, but trust me, those wheels are amazing.

Now with the Delta Plus surge taking over Europe and the Northern US, I'll be skating again but watching over my shoulder.

Skating is a "Non-Contact Sport".  Until you fall.  Anyone I have trained, I have said simply "You Will Fall, Prepare For It".  Some falls are simple, you get the boot on and don't have enough momentum to get going.  You lose balance and wobble onto the grass.  Any number of survivable incidents.  I have hugged a palm tree as well as fallen on wet grass into a somersault.  Then again, I've been doing this since 1993.

Other falls like mine are more dramatic, not career ending but to be avoided. The Physical Training and Recuperation phase is tedious.  We figure I was going over 15MPH when I crashed onto that right shoulder.

I apparently have not learned because I have a new frame for the new wheels that will increase speed but also increase the ability to smooth the bumps in the trails.  I'll be going from the old school 80MM wheels that came with the skate to 110MM wheels.  

What was that blur?  Bill running into a tree?  Let's hope not.

I know someone who heard how much fun that I had on my own workouts and bought some skates.  He fell immediately before leaving his driveway, broke his foot, and put the skates in the dumpster.  Too bad, I could have used the parts.

You are in competition with yourself with Distance skating.  Endurance.  I think nothing of getting into the gear and doing 2 hours or more and burning up all that urethane.  It's harder for me to get to the trails than it is to do the workout.  Workouts become "logistics" and not tedious.

Once there, it's time to fly. 

I don't jump, grind, or flip.  I go far, fast, and forward.  I've always measured workouts in terms of hours and distance.  22,777 miles to date, 36656.03 Km according to DuckDuckGo.  No goal other than Once Around The World Distance At The Equator.  

24,901 miles?  It's doable.

I've got time.  There's always time for an extra mile.  I accelerate like a truck and just keep rolling.

Sunday, November 21, 2021

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

You know, I have been riding a bike when the conditions are not prime for my inline skating workout.  I have cobbled together a four cardio days a week workout, and all I have to do is get the bike out and ride.  

I'm hyper aware of the road conditions and the weather (it's raining right now and will be for a bit).  There are some truly horrific drivers here in South Florida, and when I am on my skates or my bike...

there is one less on the road!  :)


A man is sitting in a new sports car when a little girl pulls up beside him on her new bicycle she just received for Christmas. 

She knocks on his window, which he rolls down to see what she wants.

"Wanna race, mister?" she asks, ringing her bell and twirling the elastic streamers on her handlebars.

"Sure," the man laughs. The light turns green and he floors the pedal. The car takes off like a shot and he leaves the little girl in the dust.

A few seconds later though, he sees something gaining on him in his mirror, fast. He just barely catches a glimpse of the little girl on her bike as she shoots past him. "She must be going 80 miles per hour!" he shouts, and shifts into a higher gear, pushing the car even faster.

He quickly blasts past her as if she were standing still. But again, just a few seconds later, she shoots past him, now doing over a hundred miles an hour on her little bike. Going so fast, sparks and smoke are streaming from her training wheels.

After another few seconds, he comes to a curve where he sees the little girl crashed in a heap on the side of the road. He pulls over and jumps out to see if she's okay. Miraculously she's survived. So he asks, "Why did you go so fast?"

Just as she falls unconscious, the little girl replies, "my streamers got caught on your mirror!"

Saturday, November 20, 2021

What do you think of that new diner on the moon? Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

Perfect timing can be a bit of a curse.  You get complacent.  I have been riding a bike up and down the town here and even with traffic calming and exercising quite off peak, I have turned my head and saw a truck baring down on me.  Just be careful out there!


Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

A Conversation With Dog

One of those mornings.  

Two dog walks down, a mile power walk, and the bike ride was yet to come.

I was sitting in the big green chair.  It faces the car port and next to the dog in what has become His Corner.

Yes, it is capitalized that way.  His Corner.  He sits there all day if I am home, and you can see how active I am.  Bike Ride Days are moderately active for me, Skate Days I go at a calorie deficit all day if I maintain my normal training diet.  The other three days are what most people would consider active as I walk between four to five miles a day in four dog walks. 

The health insurance company I use thinks that I am too active as they stop giving me points by "maxing me out" on active days.

On the second dog walk of the day, the one with the power walk at the end of it, we noticed that today was a special day that happens once a month.  Yes, it was Bulk Trash Day.

We have regular trash day twice a week, recycling once a week, and Bulk Trash once a month where everything "else" gets picked up by a truck with a big claw on the back and put into an open truck and moved somewhere.  I have actually seen these trucks on the road and you really don't want to get behind one, things fly off.

I have a clear view to the corner near my house, in the general direction of Fort Myers or Naples, depending on where I am sitting and which telephone pole I look at.  Way over the Everglades from here in Wilton Manors. 

The people who live on the corner love to celebrate holidays.  They build structures out of plastic pipe and foam board and sparkles and bits of string.  They are truly creative.  However that stuff collects.  This Bulk Trash Day they decided to clear out the chaff and among the particle board furniture and cardboard boxes, they left some of that plastic pipe.  Yoink! You're mine!  I need to strengthen that Lean-To I have to protect my orchids in the summer when the trees get trimmed.

Those partially assembled plastic rectangles are now behind the Jeep.  I have to tell them not to glue this stuff together and use some plastic bags for compression fittings.  If the thing you are building does not need to be watertight or structural, a little bit of plastic in the fittings will gum up the works just enough to have things stable for the event, and you can reuse instead of trash the pipes.   I have rescued quite a lot of PVC pipe from their bulk trash before.

Having gone back to the Big Green Chair, I'm working through my Spanish tests online and I hear a Bass Drum BOOM from the corner.  Looking up I notice the claw dropping an old white couch into the hopper.

I also hear at my elbow a low rumble.

"Rack it's ok, look!"

He looks at me.

"No, Rack, it's the truck on the corner.  Up!  See?"

I point at the corner.  

Rack stands up, stretches, then puts his feet up on the window well.  He looks over at the corner, then me.

"See?  It's just the truck on the corner.  It's OK, you don't need to grumble."

Immediately, he stops.  Relaxed, he curls back into the dog ball he was on the big blue poof of a dog bed in the corner at my elbow. 

I laugh at him when I realize he took the plush Squirrel Toy off my chair.  "You're not supposed to be that bold, that's my chair you little dingus!"

I guess when all has been said and done, he's had a conversation with me too.

As I finish this, I hear that familiar grumble and look up.  Fed-Ex is out front.  "Rack, No."  He settles back down and peace has been restored.

Sunday, November 14, 2021

What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed.

I think this is one of those situations where you just don't ask many questions.  Wouldn't you agree?


He Does What???

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of the Granville Christian Church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. 

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. 

This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

“Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated.

“Why yes,” she replied, “Every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church.”

The pastor replied, “That’s wonderful, how much does he send you?”

The old lady said, “$10,000 a week.”

The pastor was amazed. “Your son is very successful; What does he do for a living?”

“He is a veterinarian,” she answered.

“That is an honorable profession,” the pastor said.
“Where does he practice?”

The old lady said proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno.”

Saturday, November 13, 2021

How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.

You know, some day I may actually put drapes on my master bedroom windows.  For now, I'll trust that the plants will protect me from prying eyes!


Karen was furious!

She will chew someone's had off.

Karen: This is outrageous. I need speak to whoever in charge of this flight.

Air Hostess: What seems to be the problem, mam?

Karen: Who designed the interior of ths plane? Surely some guy, because his work shows the lack of decency only a guy could lack.

Air Hostess: Calm down mam! Please tell me what is bothering you!

Karen: THERE IS NO BLINDS IN THE LAVATORY! I AM TOTALLY EXPOSED IN THERE! How can I finish my business if I have to constantly worry about someone peeking from outside!

Air Hostess: Mam! If a guy is strong enough to cling on to the plane's Wings at 35000 feet above ground, he deserves to see everything!

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Is A Sport Watch Strictly Necessary or Will A Heart Rate Monitor and a Phone Work For You

I have four sports that I am involved in, none of them involve going underwater or climbing into the atmosphere.  If you do any of that, you're not going to be able to use this dodge.

Since I am a ground pounder, or more likely someone who is on wheels, when I workout, I have different needs than those who isn't.  Living in South Florida, there are plenty of opportunities to go out and swim.  Pools, the Ocean, the reefs.

I never really found all that attractive so take what I have to say with a grain of salt.

When I moved out of the house as a teen, I needed to shed weight.  I got into nutrition, weight lifted, walked miles, and begun running.  By the time I graduated college, I had dropped 75 pounds, and got light enough to begin distance running.

Back then the only thing I really needed to know is how far I would run.  I was not a racer, I had not been timed since I was a child in Elementary School.  

Moving to be near my job, I found I could run at Valley Forge National Park in suburban Philadelphia PA.  The workouts got longer, I needed some entertainment.  I brought a pocket shortwave radio and was able to listen to the BBC.  Yes, I was running on the encampments of the Revolutionary War listening to the British Broadcasting Corporation.   The irony was not lost on me.

But run I did.  One lap was 10Km.  I would do that 10K three times a week.  The shortwave was joined with a bottle or two of water.

Later I got into Biking and then Inline Skating.  I could judge how I was progressing by using distance but my speed was variable.  So I had a watch.  The trails were always marked and I could get a rough speed by the old standby distance over time.

But how hard was I pushing myself.  That was when I got into the whole sport watch thing.  I had an old Polar that was enough.  A Stopwatch and Heart Rate Strap and I was golden.  I could watch things change as I was rolling or running along.

After a sprint around the park, check the average heart rate (183) and the peak (204) and yes, I was pushing myself hard. 

I've always been told that I workout at at 12 on the 10 point scale.

But the needs change.

It turns out that I could get money back from my health insurance if I report back regularly. 

What I needed was a heart rate monitor that talked to the phone at the very least.   I started looking around for something "Bluetooth".  There are a lot of heart rate watches that do calorie count estimates based on the magic of Math, but were they accurate?

There was also a strap that fit around the chest and reported back to the phone via Bluetooth that was a good fit.  I had a generic heart rate monitor that I found for $30 and connecting with some of the software suites out there for exercise like Strava and Runkeeper, I would report back to the health insurance company and get a few pennies a day.  Strava to share workouts with family, Runkeeper to tell me what I was doing at this minute through the headphones.

That is now around $10 a week.  I paid off that heart rate strap and wondered whether the watches would work.

I'm not convinced that they do.

The watches will talk back to their own software that will talk to the phone and report back to the insurance company.   Since I listen to music while working out, I have to have something, and there's just so much more music out there on streams than you can ever hope to listen to, the phone is already coming with me.

A Watch is just more hardware to cart along.

Runkeeper is even telling me what my pace, heart rate, distance and other statistics are through the headphones.   Either software will give me instantaneous distance/speed/location.  I get a map that is accurate to within feet using GPS. 

So what did I learn about the watches?

I inline skate.  Rollerblade.  My last workout was a 15 mile "half marathon".  Roll for 45-50 minutes, water stop, rest, and repeat.  Out in the Florida Winter, it was cool but not cold.  75F/23C or so. 

Why is that important?  The sensors on a watch use light pulses through the skin to report back to the watch.   Having used a watch that used that technology, I'm thinking that for anyone in a workout that gets sweaty or wet, it is pointless to use that technology.

Sure, it is getting "Better" but that heart rate strap that is around my chest is spot on perfect.  The watches won't even read my heart rate correctly if I am sitting in a chair watching the television at night.  The chest strap is doing some magic running some electronics through your chest.  It requires sweat to keep contact with your body so it's strength is the weakness of those $30 to $900 watches that use LEDs to scan your wrist.

I know the various watches were not accurate because I was taking my pulse manually at the time and watching the various watches get it wrong.

So for now, looking for a deal on one of the high end watches online is a hobby and I'll stay where I am.  If the runner who is down the street ever decides he wants to shed some of them, I'll give it a try but my cheap cobbled together solution of free phone software and a $30 Bluetooth strap simply works.

If I ever need a diver's watch, I have an old school automatic mechanical Seiko on my wrist that is Buy It For Life quality that will do for dive timing.  Climbing a mountain?  Different story, I'll climb that hill when I come to it, and do so in low gear.

I wonder if my adult nephew will want it when I am gone?  It's a damn good watch even if I bought it in 2003 and the red on the timing ring is faded from the pool in the back yard!

Sunday, November 7, 2021

What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.

A man goes to the doctor.

He tells the doctor he's been hearing strange buzzing noises all week. The sounds come and go at all times of day, but they have been most intense at night. Sometimes there are multiple distinct buzzes at a time, at different frequencies. The patient says he has hardly slept for the past week because of the intermittent buzzing.

The doctor asks if he has experienced any neurological symptoms, such as headaches or hallucinations.

The man says no, although he has been extremely fatigued, even considering the loss of sleep, and has frequently felt lightheaded and had chest pains. Twice, he has had dizzy spells and almost fallen down stairs.

The man finally stammers that his mucus and earwax has begun to taste sweeter, and become more viscous. He inquires as to whether this might indicate diabetes.

The doctor gives the patient a grave look and asks where he lives.

The man tells him.

The doctor's face falls. He takes a deep breath and begins to inform the man that he lives within a few miles of a secret government research facility. Until a few months ago, the facility had been conducting a project attempting to genetically engineer super-intelligent bees, and train them into soldiers.

The project had backfired. The bees had learned well from the military, but they had no desire to fight in human wars. Instead, they had applied the medical knowledge taught to them so as to refine a technique for turning the human body into a living hive.

The patient listens in horror as the doctor explains to him how the bees have colonized his chest cavity. How even now they are growing fungi and tending microscopic arthropod livestock in the man's vital organs.

Trembling, the man asks how long he has.

"A couple weeks, maybe three", says the doctor. "Although the last few days will be sheer agony. The bees do a remarkable job of keeping their hosts alive, but eventually they take their tolls and move on."

The man returns home. Not knowing what to do, he lights a cigarette and smokes it on his apartment balcony while listening to the bees' faint chorus.

About halfway through the cigarette, his girlfriend calls. They had been on a break, but she says she's thought long and hard, and come to the conclusion that he's the man she wants to spend her life with. In tears, she asks if there's anything on this Earth that could stop them from growing old together.

After a long pause, the man sobs,

"Oh, bees till my beating heart!"

Saturday, November 6, 2021

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.

After having seen many videos on social media of people deciding that they wanted all the halloween candy left in a bowl on porches... I have decided that you people, in general, need to be a bit less grabby. 

After all, this old couple knows when to share!


 Sharing is caring...

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. They were thinking, 'That poor old couple all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.' As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man politely declined, saying they were just fine, and were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered: 'The teeth"

Wednesday, November 3, 2021

Inline Skating Once Around The World With Only 2200 Miles To Go

22,711 miles.

36,550 kilometers.

Give or take a bit.  Plus or minus a few.

Since 1993 I have been on inline skates, every year.  The distance adds up.

I call myself an endurance athlete.  Left foot, right foot, eventually you get there.

I started out with some basic plastic boots from Rollerblade and did a mile.  Barely.  

You see, my knees were damaged from too many different sports.  Running, biking, a little football, a little of a lot of other things.  The years took their toll.

There were the car accident, the motorcycle accident, and the subsequent recuperations.

I was the asthmatic kid who was picked last for any sport.  It turned out that I had an allergy to milk as a child and it took a random suggestion that I get off any and all dairy for a cleanse.   

If your child has asthma or allergies, try it.  It worked for me.  It broke my seasonal allergies so quickly that August each year I'd get off dairy and by September when the pollution and pollen of Pennsylvania hit, I'd sail through it with absolutely no hay fever.

The year before I would be on these weird little 12 hour pills that would kill the allergies but made me an irritable sleepy mess.  Chlortrimeton I believe.

So you get the picture.

I took to the sport like a fish to water.  Inline Skating is non contact, if you don't fall.  It is cardio at your own pace.  Just watch the pavement.

I got into it at the beginning of the boom of the 90s.  In 1993, it was massive in Philadelphia, through the 90s and into the 2000s.  Stuff the doubters, It's Fun!

Going to Fairmount Park, you know, the Rocky Steps, I'd start doing a lap.  I was proud of that 8.6 miles.  

Always counting distance from day one.  I'd even out the workout to a round number and add up, finish at an even mile.

I made friends with The Team there, and while that was too organized for my soul, I talked techniques and equipment.

Tom said that a minimum regular workout was a minimum of two laps of the park.  So immediately I did two laps.  

Hmmm... I can do this.  

Distance grew.  I got to where I was doing hyper marathons three times a week.  100 miles a week (162km) from Philadelphia to Valley Forge.  With a nod to Washington's Troops, I'd go out to the Perkiomen Creek bridge and have a stop.  Then back and forth and to the car at the Philadelphia line.

Never took a vacation without my inline skates and that black bag.  

Long workouts are not so much a battle against your body but Logistics.  I knew that I would take a leisurely three hours to do my 33 miles with rest stops.  If that cloud west of me does not hit, I can squeeze in a skate and get back before dark.

April to October I had a runner's high.  Seriously.  All summer.

One year I did 200 miles in one week skating every day at Fairmount Park.  So much that the park workers asked me what I was doing.  The peak day was 54 miles one Sunday Morning.

One of those vacations, I loaded up the Jeep and drove to Key West and skated once around the island.  In February.

Made it up to Ft Lauderdale and skated there.

I got back to my dreary February life in frigid Philly and vowed to get out when I could.  Oh sure, I had a nice life on top of a hill when I could get out but the winters killed me.

Eventually I left the incompetence of my job's management for Florida and reestablished things here but the skates priorities lagged.  

Now I am back.  As long as Covid and the world stay out of my way, I will be able to reach a goal I have been playing with.

Once around the world at the equator.  That is 24,901 miles.  40,075 km.  Give or take.  The world bulges and shifts.   

I am only 2200 miles away.  If I had the longer trails of the North, I could easily have that done

by this time next year.  

Life has changed priorities.  I still see the workout as Logistics.  Bring this much ice water.  Snacks for when you burn through your starting blood sugar.  Make sure that the right kind of music is on the player.  Get the heart rate monitor, and start the software on the phone.  There is a rain cloud over The Bahamas, will it hit Pompano Beach before I can finish?  

That last one is a beast.  If I get so much as a sheen of water on the trails, it will get pulled up into the bearings of my skates and rust them out in five minutes.  

I used to be sponsored, I'm not any more.   There isn't really a lot of sponsorship in the sport, especially for endurance skaters.  I have to protect the equipment.  Parts are not exactly easy to get.  I can't roll into a store on South Street and say "Hey, I need a pair of 80MM push wheels!"

So I'm Back.  I'm now skating in Pompano Beach, carving loops in the pavement around the Goodyear Blimp.  The regulars know me as that big guy who skates.  We're still out there.

With 2200 miles to go, I'll be out there again.

Crossing that magic number is merely a mental goal.  But it is a light glowing for me.  Once I pass that number there won't be a celebration other than in my own mind.  I sincerely doubt there will be anyone else who will ever say "wanna, get a sandwich or something".  Well, not completely true.  When I stop Runkeeper, the voice says exactly that.

But I will know.  That formerly asthmatic kid who could not run the 440 yard dash just skated once around the world. 

So what is all this about?  Stuff your doubters into the trash, you can do this.  Set your mind to it, and set realistic goals.  Push yourself.  Besides, that cardio rush of a runner's high is a nice healthy way to be, as long as your body will allow.  

And if you hear that I "went" sitting on a bench in the middle of a workout?  Hey I "went" doing what I love.

Wanna Skate?