Why Did I Buy Barbie's Electric Chainsaw?

I had been poking around on Temu.  In the past I have bought a few things and learned that you can use it well, but you do have to watch how you read the descriptions. 

I am also finding that the same vendors are on Amazon, and at a higher price.  I'm not exactly a rich person, so I will cut that middleman out wherever I can.  The "Scrabble Tiles Thrown At A Wall" company brands are on both sites.

I get thrown off by the dimensions.  Metric throws me at times, and I bake in both Metric and Imperial.  My workouts are in Imperial but the individual parts are in Metric.  I am Large in US size, in Chinese size I am 2XL or 3XL.

And so forth.

The last batch of odds and ends was delayed in transit and I was given a pair of $5 consolation prizes for a total of $10.  Nice touch.

The Mango Tree forced this last purchase.  I was outside with a common garden pruner snipping away at some branches.  Mango Tree had finished fruiting for the year and every year it needs to be trimmed way back or else it will take over the yard and become a monster.

It grew from a "man sized" hat rack to about as tall as the house's roof since last year's trimming.  I think it hit the ground water table.

That $10 Temu credit came to mind.  I was outside sweating in the morning heat, filling up my blue trash can, and trying to think of a better way to do it.

When I came in and got cleaned up, I sat down at the laptop.  My email had a status that my shipment had gotten through customs and is sitting at a regional hub.  At the bottom of the email was a bunch of helpful suggestions for future purchases.

A $11 chainsaw.  How on earth?  

Ok, I was drawn in, I looked at the specs on the thing.  6 Inch Chainsaw.  That made me raise an eyebrow.  I looked at my hand.  From tip to wrist, that is close enough to 6 inches to use as an estimate.  Thinking that I will have some wrist sized branches to trim back the lightbulb went on.

Barbie's Electric Chainsaw just may work.

Of course I went looking for the cheapest price and found it as well as a collection of tools that went with a weed eater and the same kind of batteries.  Both were ordered.  

Barbie's Electric Chainsaw (in blue) basically cost me $1 plus $3 shipping.  Yoink!

I am still waiting on the weed eater.  It comes with a twee little 4 inch in diameter metal saw blade as well and there is some brush that needs leveling as well as my Podocarpus Hedge that will get attended to.

So a ludicrously small battery electric chainsaw.  It actually worked on a thumb sized branch before I came in.  My Mango Tree "trimming" will happen.

Actually it will happen in the morning that I don't have a workout or an appointment, and needs to happen before 10AM.  It's what I can call "high summer" in South Florida, and as an athlete, I am having an education on what it means to avoid heat exhaustion.  This heat has spiked my resting heart rate, sent it from a normal for me 52 to a high of 58 yesterday.  

When I go out there to trim my tree, it will be in the morning, and with a giant glass of water.  Ice Water.

Remember to hydrate!

Mango Jelly Recipe for 2025 and Instructions for Canning for Future Self

I don't like repeating blog articles, but I do change things around from time to time.   I have been at this since 2009 and there are things that I modify and put back on the blog.

In this case, it isn't so much the Mango Jelly recipe as much as the process.  The recipe is same as it was but it was tailored for my canning pot, and I did increase the amount of Bulk Pectin.  I got a much more "me friendly" result.  The result is more firm and more like what I expect a jelly to be like. 

If you like a soft jelly, reduce the amount of pectin from 12 to perhaps 10 or 8 Tablespoons.  I am using Bulk Pectin.  It's cheaper that way and being retired, I save money where I can.

Of course the Full Internet Warranty Applies - No Warranty implied or expressly written.  You follow these instructions at your own risk.  Just because this "works for me" does not mean it will work for you.  Read them, re-read, get your equipment set up, and re-read again.  Ramblingmoose.com takes no responsibility for any actions on your part.

That being said, I do this a couple times a year.  These are instructions from me to my future self.  I could do this with one jar in a sauce pan and a sealing lid if I had to. 

But I am a special character.  I've been told I am an ampersand.

The Full Recipe is at the bottom.

Wash your hands, frequently.

Canning.  The USDA has instructions, and "everyone else" does as well.  This is what I did Monday.  I've been canning for a couple years now and I have gotten good results.  Usually only one jar per batch fails to seal.  BUT, I tend to reuse my lids.  I have been told don't do that.   I roll the dice and don't pass on jars until a week or two after they are sitting around so I know they're going to seal.  The one that fails is mine and goes into the fridge.  Mango Jelly Pie on a Graham Cracker Crust can be a very nice dessert, and this jelly is great on Pancakes for syrup.  I had it on pancakes today and enjoyed it.

Into the canning pot, place more lids than jars.  Rings do not to be sterilized. I can comfortably fit 8 jars on the grid inside of my pot.  So I tend to put 8 to 10 lids in to the pot.

Place the funnel and the magnet stick into the pot.  Any scoops or paddles I think I will need go into the pot.

Note:  If you place all the things other than the jars that you want to sterilize into a separate sauce pan, and can fit them in, it may make life easier.  Using tools to remotely fish things out from a boiling pot of water from under jars and grid can be painful.  I did not use a separate pot for the lids and tools this time and I managed.

The tools that do not go into the jars will remain on a dinner plate outside of the pot.

Do not use a paper plate.  I made that mistake this batch and when I turned the fire back on, it caught and you had ashes everywhere.  Bad move.  Hank will tell you Propane cooks hot, it's God's Own Gas.

Put the pot in the sink and fill all the jars with water after you lift the metal grid and place it on the bottom of the pot.  Then fill the pot to the line so that all the jars are completely submerged with about an inch of water on top of the jars.

Yes, that's a lot of water. 
Yes, it all has to come to a full rolling boil.

The Boil.  Place the full pot on the stove and turn the heat on, full.  You want the water to come to a rolling boil.  This will take about a half of an hour.  Make sure the propane tank has enough gas for this project.  The entire canning episode yesterday only used 1% of the 100 gallon tank.  You most likely won't move the needle on the larger tanks.  You won't want to do this on a smaller bottle since those are for the Grill.

Sterilizing.  Once the pot, jars, lids, and tools are on a rolling boil, set the timer on the stove for 30 minutes.  This must boil for 30 minutes to sterilize everything.  Yes, I know you can't kill all the tardigrades in the pot, but this will get the botulism out of anything.  This way when you send jelly Up North to family, they won't get sick.

Jelly needs to cook to 165F or 74C.  Start this when the water is boiling, it takes about 20 minutes to go from room temp to 165F.  This kills any nasties that might be on the fruit or the pot.  The temp gun helps but the numbers dance around while you are stirring with the immersion blender. 

As long as the fruit is not frozen, adding the ingredients to the separate cooking pot, then turning on the heat on medium will be fine timing.  Your immersion blender or stick blender is great for the task. 

Use the white blender.  The other blender is for making soap.  Don't mix them.  This takes too long to "restart" because you did something stupid.

Keep stirring the jelly until you are ready for it, and do NOT use high heat.  The Mangoes will hot spot and you will end up with discolored fruit.  Not the best when you want "Gift Quality".  This also will mean that the jelly, jam really since it is complete fruit, will be smooth and pureed with no chunks.

When the timer sounds, check the temp on the jelly.  If it finishes before the water has boiled for 30 solid minutes, turn the heat down on the jelly.  You don't want hot spots.

Hopefully everything is done correctly, no hot spots and you are now ready to can.

Turn the heat off the canning pot.

Filling Jars.  Fish the tools you need out of the water bath.  Place them on the clean plate you just reached out of the cabinet or dishwasher for this purpose.

You will need the scissors clamp, the funnel, the scoop, the paddle.  The magnet stick should have floated upright so you can grab that without getting burned.

Once you get the tools out of the water and set out to cool on the plate, get the metal rack out of the bottom of the pot.  It can be set so the metal handles are elevated and the jars are no longer in the hot water.

Using the scissors clamp, grab the first jar and dump the boiling water back into the pot.  Place this on the work plate.  Put the funnel into the mouth of the jar.  Fill the jar no higher than the bottom of the funnel.  For wide mouth jars, do not fill above the line under the threads.

Tools do cool quickly but do be careful.  It will be a little uncomfortable at first.

Take the funnel out of the jars, and set it aside.  Since you are using it to fill the jars with the jelly, I set it on top of the jelly, narrow side down. 

In filling, if you slopped any jelly on the rim of the jar, wipe it off with a wet paper towel.  Carefully, you don't want to contaminate the jars.  Paper Towels are considered by me to be sterile-ish compared to a cloth towel.

Place a lid on the top of the jar, rubber side down, and seat it on the rim.  Then screw down a ring gently.  Make sure the ring is not "tight" as the air inside of the jar needs to be forced out during the second boil to create your vacuum seal.  Usually getting it to meet the lid then backing off a "wee bit" is enough.

Place that jar back on the metal grid and repeat for all of the jars you intend to can for this batch.

Now that you have your jars on the grid, check to make sure the rings are not constricting the lids.  Lower the grid to the bottom of the pot.

Second Boil to seal your jars.  You now have all your jars submerged and it is time for the second boil.

Turn the heat on full, the fan back on, and wait for the water to come back to a full boil.

When the water is on a full rolling boil, set the timer on the stove for 30 minutes.  As the water is boiling, the heat will push some of the air out of the jars and create your later vacuum when you are waiting for the buttons on the lids to snap to seal. 

Time to remove the jars from the boiling water. 

Raise the grid to the top of the canning pot.  If you are confident, you can remove the grid to a safe workplace and deal with the jars.

Check each jar.  Make sure each lid is seated on the top of the jar and when you are confident, tighten the ring down.  Repeat for each jar and set them aside to cool.

By the time the jars have reached room temperature, each vacuum button should have snapped to prove that they are sealed.

Just because you need clean pipes, dump the hot water in the sink.  It will help melt the grease you didn't know you were putting in there.

Recipe.  USDA says you can store canned jelly for 6 to 12 months.

Ingredients:

• 8 Cups chunked ripe Mango pieces.
• 2 Cups Sugar.
• 2 Tablespoons of Lemon Juice.
• 9 Tablespoons of bulk Fruit Pectin.

Process:

• Cut up your Mangoes into chunks until you have 8 cups of the fruit.
• Mash slightly the Mangoes, and add to the cooking pot.
• Add 2 Cups of Sugar.
• Add 2 Tablespoons of Lemon Juice.
• Add 9 tablespoons of bulk Fruit Pectin.
• Cook on medium on the stove until the jam begins to set at about 30 minutes.

Short Mango Harvest Means An Early Tree Trimming Season Has Begun

It has been an off year for mango harvests here. 

Oh sure, I have harvested a few less fruit from my own tree, and one of them was 18 ounces in weight.  About a half a kilo at 510 grams.  But all the trees that I pay attention to have been dropping fewer fruit.

So ... it's time to trim the thing back.  In fact, it's a month earlier than last year.

If not you end up with a 40 foot monster taking up the back yard and lifting the pool into the sky.  You don't want that to happen, pools are expensive to repair and that will make you a sad panda.

The problem is that even a small Mango tree is fairly large.  Mine made it to 15 feet this year.

Every year I cut it back.  Way back.  To about as tall as I am.  Turn the thing into a hat rack. 

It mopes, then out of the branches that are left you get new growth. 

We have this thing here called "Bulk Trash Day" that happens once a month.  I don't want to wait for that, although had I done so I could just cart the limbs to the curb and wait for the man with the claw machine to scoop them up.

Instead, I fill up the big blue trash cans and take it down in stages.  Long stages. 

I did it once already, and will have to do it twice again.

Since I still have Mango Chunks in the freezer, I will not miss them.  This has been a strange year and I do need the space. 

While a realtor will tell you to cut down a mango tree if you have the house up for sale, they will also tell you that in this day and age they are surprised when they encounter a house that uses their kitchen.  At least here in South Florida, they've found homes where the original instructions for the oven are still in the oven years later.

That won't work with me.  I have churned butter, made soap, and canned mango jelly in the past and I shall again.

Besides, Mango Jelly goes quite nicely on French Toast or Pancakes.

Two Coffee Grinders, No Waiting

I have told people I am the reincarnation of a pioneer farmer's wife.

Strictly from the standpoint of comedy and illustrating how much I "Bake From Scratch", of course.

I was standing in the kitchen.  Looking out the window grinding coffee.  Coffee that was two kinds, Decaf plus Regular.  Both of which I roasted from green beans myself within the last four weeks. 

The roaster is this strange "Mid Century Modern" affair that was remanufactured for resale, and someone was absolutely kind when he gave it to me.  I have had it for about 10 years and only just realized how to use the blasted thing. 

It's Mid Century Modern because it was made prior to 1980, probably in the Post War Era.  The motor inside of it was an industrial motor that is used in garbage disposals, dishwashers, and washing machines as well as many other applications and it is overpowered for the task.  That illustrates the "It will outlast you" comment that came to mind as I watched the Half Caff spin around loudly.

It also came without instructions so it took time for us to stumble across the model number (Image Search on line is a help) and the actual documentation online (old holdover websites with the PDF is a help). 

Remember the most logical way to do something is "not to help" it do its job.  In this case, the little trap door is precisely weighted to redirect the grounds that are shot out from the grinder into the catchment jar. 

Yes, it is that violent.

And loud too.

So I grind my coffee while waiting for the water to boil.

When we remodeled the kitchen I looked at the counter space and said "It's an aircraft carrier, you could land a jet on it".  Being that "Farmer's Wife", I have managed to fill it to the point where now you can't fit enough of the different food projects that you want to do in a day on the counter and have room for the Beef, Rice, Carrots, and Beans to thaw for tomorrow's Dog Food From Scratch cooking foray.

Why bother with all these steps?  If your coffee comes ground from the market, it's dead.  If it comes roasted longer than 4 weeks ago, it's dead.  You lose most of the flavor.

If you are reading this with a cup full of something made from "Crystals", do go hang your head in shame.

Likewise with "K Cups". 

All that coffee adjacent beverage that you are drinking is most likely oxidized beyond recognition, and you may as well just be drinking water from the neighboring creek.

All this flashed through my mind in the period it took for the kettle to come to 200F/90C and for my dog to decide it's time to come back inside.

Yes, Rack, I'll let you in.

As for the Farm?  I am planning on propagating four species of plants in containers to go into the ground.  In Two Years. 

Farmers always save seeds for later, and well I just took things a little past that Farmville game that everyone annoyed the rest of us with online.  Never played it, I prefer to harvest the mangoes and make jelly from my own trees.

Meanwhile if you are nearby, in my town, or adjacent, and have too many mangoes, do let me know.  It's 8 cups of Mangoes to a batch of jelly, and that recipe I have here is bullet proof, but it takes a lot of fruit.  It also works with Peaches or so I have been told by someone up in the Peach Groves.

Mango Jam Recipe - This Time With Bulk Pectin

Short and sweet. 

A Box of SureJell is 4 tablespoons of Bulk Pectin - Except when it isn't.

What I mean by that is that the last time I made this recipe (it's link and it is reproduced completely at the end of the article), it came up a little loose.

Mind you, I made it exactly as listed, and used the 4 tablespoon conversion.

The trick is that while Mango Jam might just Jell enough if you don't use the pectin at all, you do need to cook it until it does begin to jell.

I think that is my issue.  I may have pulled it off the heat too soon.  My last batch was only cooked to 165F and that's always a bit of a guess.

So this is here to serve as a reference for the next time.  While it is a "Little Loose" it still "eats right".  If you get me!

FOUR TABLESPOONS is ONE BOX of Surejell.

Now the recipe:



Ingredients:

• 4 Cups chunked ripe Mango pieces.
• 1 Cup Sugar or other granulated sweetener such as Stevia as recommended on the package for substitution.
• 1 Tablespoon of Lemon Juice.
• 1 Package of unsweetened or sugar free Fruit Pectin.

Process:

• Cut up your Mangoes into chunks until you have four cups of the fruit.
• Mash slightly the Mangoes, and add to the bread machine's bucket with impeller blade in place.
• Add 1 Cup of Sugar or sweeteners.
• Add 1 Tablespoon of Lemon Juice.
• Add 1 Packet of SureJell Fruit Pectin.
• Select Jam and Jelly program on your bread machine and press start.
• Alternately, this may be cooked on medium on the stove until the jam begins to set at about 30 minutes.

I did use this recipe to can some Mango Jam for later by boiling the jars and lids to sterilize, then boiling the jars to re-sterilize and set the lids.  With all Canning Recipes, you are on your own to decide how long to store the result.

Mango Tree At Sunrise

So how are your allergies?

I was out for the first dog walk today at 5:30 in the pre-dawn morning.  As soon as I stepped out onto the porch I noticed that there was a distinct smell in the air.  Like someone working with some odd chemicals, I knew that the mango tree was in full bloom.

If that one is in full bloom, so was mine in the yard, and the others in my city.

If you have a mango allergy, and many people do, you're going to want to vacation a bit further North.

Two weeks away where the Mangoes don't grow.  Anywhere above USDA Zone 9B.

In Florida that's North of the I-4 line generally, but with Global-Warming-That-Does-Not-Exist (Yeah, right.) that is creeping North.  South Texas, Arizona, and a surprisingly large area of Coastal California is Zone 9B.

Your best bet is to consult a USDA Zone Map, which I have right here.

Big cities are going to be safe, but two weeks in Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, all would be nice.  Even Atlanta or Dallas are North of 9b.

On the other hand, I was getting a surprising amount of fruit off this same tree and still have 8 cups of chunks in my freezer that have to be made into Mango Jam.

Is It Time To Lower My Tropical Fruit Tree?

The first thing a Real Estate Agent will do on seeing a Mango tree on the property is suggest it gets removed.  That's overkill, they can be managed truly well, but that does raise a basic gardening question. 

I’m not a farmer so when do I trim my fruit trees?

I started looking into this and it turns out that it varies based on what kind of tree, where it is planted, and what you intend to do with it all.

For example, the specific tree I am talking about is a Mango, but this is a general discussion.  Mango trees get truly massive.  I’m looking out the window at a Hagen Mango tree that was allowed to grow freely.  They trimmed the ground limbs up to about 10 feet.  The top of the tree is about 40 feet.  Think a four story building.

I am in the tropics (adjacent).  Broward County Florida.  26 Degrees North, 80 Degrees West is just off the coast of Hollywood Florida.  

Things are different here.  This extends to the native trees, and I am including anything Tropical and Exotic here.  You can’t grow a Mango outside in Atlanta.  I’ve been led to believe that you can’t grow it where you get a hard freeze either.  Think the same climate as Oranges.

I’m trimming the tree at the Pre-Hurricane Season, which works well with Fruiting Season, but it also works well with the Sea Grape tree that is in the backyard by the shed behind the Mango in the first picture.

These tropical natives are designed to lose almost all of their leaves in a direct hit from a storm.   Each year, I have a landscaping team climb the Sea Grape and trim it progressively lower.  Each year the Sea Grape pouts and then comes back with a vengeance.  That tree was once 40 feet tall too, but now, it’s trunk is down to about 15 and will be a total of 40 feet again next spring.

In the case of my own Mango, it’s trimmed back every year after I pick the fruit.  It reached 20 feet tall this year, so I am sure it’s tapped into the aquifer and is doing well.  I trimmed it, just like last year, back to Eye Level – six feet.  It looks like it had its head cut off but I did leave plenty of leaves for it to get restarted, and it’s already putting out a ring of new growth of limbs at each major cut.  

Both trees will survive.  This is what they’re designed to do.  They have to.  If a tree loses all of it’s leaves in a storm, it has to put out new growth immediately.

Next spring, I’ll have more flowers and more fruit to harvest and throw in the freezer to make more jelly which is a task for a slow afternoon – canning fruit jelly.

If you are in a tropical area, plants can be trimmed pretty much all year around.   If you don’t want fruit, get them trimmed when they begin to flower.  If you do want fruit, wait until after harvest – June or July.

At least that’s how I manage my own Mango.  The hedges on the other hand grow like mad.  They all need constant trimming every season, rain or shine.

Now, if you’re in a colder climate where you get winter… the rule of thumb is that you should get professional advice, I’m just a home owner.  If it is an Early Bloomer, wait until after the flowers/fruits are done, Late Bloomers are best trimmed early spring or even late winter.  Let the tree build strength for when it is needed.

If you will excuse me, I have to start some water boiling for canning.  I have jelly to make!

Mango Lassi - A Smoothie For Any Day That The Blender Is Clean

We counted the calories on this.

For two weeks worth of meals a year, I get the equivalent of every single calorie I take in from the mango trees in the neighborhood.

Yes, it is a lot of calories.  I count every one of them and I shoot for 2100 calories a day with allowances for another 300.  I'm an athlete and I am pretty much hungry every moment of the day as a result.  On marathon days, I tell people I can have a SECOND piece of cake if I want and watch their jaws drop.

Oh I know it sounds weird and obsessive but think of it.  Between Mango Chunks, Jelly, and drinks, they have a lot of calories.  Add to it the Mango bread that is quite nice with the Mango jelly and you see where I am going with my numbers.  I already have about 12 jars of Mango chunks for Jelly in the freezer for when I can find the time to make the stuff so I think I will also make some Mango Oatmeal Raisin Cookies this year too.

17 calories an ounce so 6 ounces are 100 calories.

That's 102 calories for 28 grams if you are ... metric.  (gasp)

The entire recipe as I make it clocks in around 300 calories and a lot of fiber.   I make it without actual sugar so I can use it on a day that I am carbo-loading for my workouts.  It is traditional to use Honey instead of artificial sweeteners in it, but I found that the mangoes are already very sweet, and I wanted the lower calories.

With no fat in the fruit, it is endurance workout friendly as well.

Don't ask about "Runner's Trots", it's a rather unpleasant malady.  Too much fat in your diet before an endurance workout and you will be visiting the baño sooner than you would prefer and wondering why there aren't any shrubs around when you need them.


Ingredients as I made it this morning:

• 12 ounces/336 grams of Rather Ripe Mangoes, chunked.
• 6 ounces/170 grams of plain unsweetened yogurt.
• 6 ice cubes and an extra 4 ounces of water (yes, arbitrary size) or about 200 grams total.
• a dusting of cinnamon to taste
  
• a packet of artificial sweetener or Honey (completely optional, I often forget this) to taste
  

Blend on high until smooth and drink.

The Mangoes are Back... With A Second Blooming Inflorescence

It has been "Weird" for a couple years now.  The world went upside down a while back and those of us who have been preaching about things changing since childhood are right.

Whether you like it or not.

The weather where I grew up in South Jersey by the time I moved out in the 1990s was basically what had been winter weather in North Carolina, broadly. 

Now that the science is indisputable, instead of getting offended and blaming one class of people or another (It's really the oil companies and the car companies' faults if you ask me) I have but one answer.

Plant A Tree.  Today, tomorrow, forever, keep planting trees.   

That lefty-looney who you called a tree hugger was right, get over yourself.  After you're gone your great grand-kids will say "Hey they weren't all bad, now go and pick some fruit"!

At any rate, I did.  You see years ago, I had a co-worker.  A beautiful island woman from Jamaica who told me a story in that Big Sister Voice that everyone in their then 20s longs to hear.  She said that "Back in J-A" we plant trees by the road so that people could reach up in season and have a meal.  She said you'll never eat them all, and I guess in a city you may be right.

I have noticed here in South Florida people were way too grabby and would go into your yard and empty your trees of fruit so I have to assume that the trees she planted were near a wall and only some of the fruit was exposed to the passers by.

 
When we moved in here there is (currently, still) a massive mango tree on the nearby corner.  I have permission from the property owner to take as much as I want, and I do, and it leaves a lot there. 

Oh and there's a helpful recipe for Mango Jelly in that link... I think I need it myself!

Remembering all of this, I planted an orange tree that is still here in the wrong spot.  Then my own Mango.

My own mango tree is in my back yard.  Away from everything and prying eyes.  I've only gotten a couple pounds out of it each year but it has paid for itself even at the bargain basement prices you see at a yard sale.

This year it flowered early and put out a few measly inflorescences so I thought it was going to be a bad Mango year and ignored it.   Every year when picked, I "lower" the tree to my height and it looks like a hat rack.  The tree mopes the next year and I get few fruit.

This year was going to be one of those same years but I had a surprise.  There are flower spikes coming out literally all over the place.  Like twice or three times the amount of usual.

So since I have two bags of Mango Puree in the freezer, I'll be having that with my morning meals and the fresh fruit should be here by spring.

Stay tuned.

Take A Break, Mango Season Is Coming

Just like anything else with me, everything happens near the house or on a workout.

I was out skating.  Nothing new with that, in fact it was the longest skate workout I have had since I moved to Florida.

I had already gotten ten miles in and it was time to rest.  The spot I rest at is under a small copse of trees, has a bench, water, and overlooks the Goodyear Blimp base in Pompano Airpark.  It's a pretty little spot where you can watch people get their cardio in, watch the blimp from time to time, and just have a break from what you are doing.   

Call it an Athlete's Hangout, I do.  Beautiful day.  Warm sun, breezes were light off the ocean.  I rather enjoy that spot.  

I got greeted by one of the fellow skaters and decided to get back to the task at hand and pack in another couple sprints.  Conditions like this only happen in the winter in the south, by the time April hits, we're already pushing the temps towards 90 and you know season is changing.

Actually when I got back to that same bench, that was exactly what I was thinking.  How nice it is, and how privileged I was to be able to enjoy this kind of condition.

Reaching into my skate pack, I grabbed my sport bottle, opened it, and tipped my head back to enjoy some ice water.  Looking up through spotted sunglasses, I noticed that my friend the Mango Tree was back in bloom.  It's a Hagen Mango tree, just like the big one near my house, and I have had fruit from it before.  Orange, creamy, and sweet.  

In a couple months it will be dropping more fruit.

Sitting there, you can gather your thoughts.  I skated 17 miles at that point and decided that it was approaching enough.  I'd do another 3 miles and then head on back.

Smiling at the thought, it was time to go.  Any more would break that peaceful spell.  Yes, it is possible to have peace at upwards of a 175 BPM heart rate, in fact it's preferable.  Standing up, I got on the trail and was able to glide on home. 

I used to compete, I used to skate hyper marathons multiple times in the week.  Now I do this for me.  Headphones on, it's a great way to enjoy the day.

Find your zone.  If it includes being on eight wheels, say hi as you pass the other way or join me for a sprint. 

In Philadelphia, Skating was massive.  On West River Drive, and I believe they changed the name of it by now to something else.  Weekend days it would be closed to allow people to enjoy the park, intimately, so that you could do any non motorized sport.  About half way through that drive is an old stone bridge and a water stop.  Right by that stop, and you have to know where, the was an old apple tree.   If you were lucky, you could tramp out across the grass and find an apple still on the tree.  Fairmount Park did not treat the grounds there other than cutting the grass so it was organic.  I've had many of those apples through the years, and having the mango here is ... well it is just right.

Mango Harvest and Lowering the Tree

It is so common here that it is a meme.

A meme I'll clean up.

If you want fruit from your own tree, plant it behind the fence in the back yard.

Mind you, I'm guilty of this as well.  There are Mango trees near here that I have permission to "take as much as you want".  The good ones, the Hagen Mangoes.

My tree is a Cogshall.  It is a condo mango and it won't grow as fast and massively as the Hagen, so I can manage the tree like anyone else.  I will plant a Mango Pit or four and I have a request from a fine lady here in town who would like to try. 

Need a Mango Pit?  Let me know if you're near me.   After all, they are Tropical and won't survive a winter out of Florida unprotected.

I put my own tree in the back yard a couple years back.  I have a crowded yard, that pool that nobody uses is taking up most of the area.  So if I want fruit, I have to stick with either containers or the one spot that I planted that mango tree.

I checked.  I chopped it back two years ago, and this year I got 44 Mangoes.  They are on my room divider and while I will eat most, many will end up as Mango Jam. 

The recipe for Mango Jam is here.  It is trivial to make and I will be canning them for later use.  I don't buy much Jams and Jellies here.  I have a Lemon Curd recipe that is simply awesome for any citrus jam that I can make in the Microwave.  

Has anyone found any Key Limes?  I really don't want to try to find room for another tree!

I also have friends who know I strongly prefer homemade to store bought so I get a Care Package from time to time.

But that first picture of the tree?  That's what I had before the Harvest, and this one here is how far I cut it back.  I'd say by half.  I doubt I will get enough to make Jam from next year.

Got a tree I can pick from next year?  Much obliged!

Mangoes are starting to drop, is season starting?

I have a mango powered workout again.

I was sitting on a bench at the park.  I decided that after 7 miles of bombing the trail, it was time for a water bottle.  The Goodyear Blimp was on the other side of the trees.

I was sitting under a 30 foot tall Mango tree there by the water fountain and looked up.

Hey you tree!  Lets have some fruit, Oscar needs some too.

It really is early for this.  On the dog walks, if there are any unripe fruit I will pick it up.  We had a wind storm and some rain for the first time in months, probably before xmas.  On the ground there were quite a few golf ball sized and larger fruit waiting.  Right after the last storm there were a couple quarter pound fruit there for the passers by to enjoy.

I had those this morning, Oscar had a few golf ball sized mangoes and some peanuts.

I was thinking about all of this and talking to the big tree while looking up.  Probably  I was just hungry.

My mind flicked back to the cookies I took for a post workout snack sitting on the passenger seat of the Jeep and I thought, may as well get back to it.

It was just a quick couple of miles to get to the car anyway, and while the conditions were perfect, it was about time to go.

Skating in South Florida is a bit different.   In Pennsylvania, I could easily go for a 5 mile stretch without having a break in the pavement, road crossing the trail, or even a water stop.  Marathons were common.  My usual workouts were 33 miles three times a week.  I'd make the difference up for a "Hundred Mile Week".  

Here at the Pompano Airpark, it is a short loop of only 4.6 miles.  Every mile has breaks in it.  Rumble strips for the blind, ingress and egress for the airport, close corners around the little mall where if you don't watch for debris on the trail, you will fall.

So I sat there.  Semi New Skates with only 100 miles on them.  I finished that bottle of ice water I brought with me.  You don't want to drink from a public water fountain these days.  It is the only source of water on that side of the park and it gets used in odd ways.

Standing up, I looked at the tree and the benches, and moved on.  

New skates with new bearings with new wheels mean that you can move.  In my case, a Four Minute Mile is not unheard of, although I have been purposely holding my speed down.  

After all, a missed pebble and you're painting asphalt with your own skin.  I've done that too many times.  But let me tell you, moving along with the speed of the birds and the wheels humming out the miles is a wonderful way to spend a morning.

Getting back to the car, the treat of those cookies and a rather nice view across the open grass to the Goodyear Blimp was in store. 

It's time.  A wonderful time to eat up the miles and the cookies.

Mango Season or How A Mango Grows

 I have an annual weird date with a tree.  I am documenting that information for the next year. 

This is my crib sheet.

I may be a bit of a tree hugger, with my own more than casual life-long relationship with plants, gardens, and landscaping, I would say I have earned the name.

The specific tree I am speaking of is a Mango tree in the backyard.  In its case, it is a "Coghsall Mango" that has been bred to be smaller than the monsters that I see in my neighborhood.  That is relative since I have once trimmed the daylights out of my own fifteen foot tree (Call it 5 meters my non-American friends) down to my own height of 6'4" (193CM).  I will repeat this after fruiting season ends.

Ok I am showing off with my mental mathematical gymnastics.  A bit.

Anyway it is a progression of things to look for.  

Early Summer, May to June, I have to go out and hack my tree back.  The tree will put out new growths from the cut site that look like a hydra or an octopus.    Don't go below about eye level, 6 feet or so.  Leave some leaves on the tree so it can thrive.

Around Xmas, the neighboring Hagen Mangoes begin to put out inflorescences.  Be patient.

Around late January, my tree will begin to put out little acorn shaped buds.  They're bright green if not Chartreuse.

These acorns will grow, then split and put out small mango leaf shaped leaves with little spherical bumps.  Each of those bumps will grow into an inflorescence.

Later these inflorescenses will grow into something that looks distantly like a TV antenna with the bumps splitting open into dozens of mango flowers.

If I am lucky, each inflorescence that holds 50-100 "Proto-Mangoes" will be visited by bees.  The tree is smarter than I am and usually no more than three actual mangoes will form on each inflorescence.  

The extras fall off.

The fruit will be ready to eat by summer.  The recipe for Mango Jelly is simple - four cups fruit chunks, 2 cups sugar, 1 packet of "Sure-Jell with sugar".  Mash the mixture.  Cook on stove until it begins to jell.  Jar and can for gifts later. 

Lowering the Mango Tree

Some of us can't get near the fruit, or they hate it.

I'm over the moon with it. I can't really get enough mangoes.

I even have a tree in the backyard.  Therein lies the problem.  You see, Mango Trees can get insanely big.  In South Florida they can get to 40 or 50 feet tall.

Lets call that 17 meters for the imperially impaired.

There is one that big just a short walk from my front door.

So unless you want fruit that is upwards of two pounds or a Kilo falling from 50 feet onto your head, or breaking glass in your car, you want to lower the things.

I've been telling people this for years.  Don't let it grow up, make it grow out.

Yes, I am turning my mango into a bonsai.  Not one of those little trees in a pot, but a tree that could be huge is going to be cut back to about six feet.

It's a manageable height for these things.

I know it is something that works because I did a test cut a month back and I am trying hard not to allow myself to finish the job.

I had gone out there and found that my tree was almost 20 feet tall and growing out of control.   About the time I took cuttings from the Bougainvillea, I walked to the Mango with saw in hand and lowered the tree on one side by about a person in height.  It also got narrowed to about 10 feet.

How do I know it worked?  Simply because the plant told me. 

I didn't do a simple beheading of the tree, I cut back long arms to the core.

One month later, everywhere I cut, the tree put out lots of little branches like fingers.   I stopped where I did with the tree because I was afraid it would pout and not put out more fruit for next year.  Since flowering and fruiting happens in spring here, I have to wait.

My Theory is that I can gently reduce the height in stages and not shock the plant.

At least it's not a skyscraper any longer.

Motto of this exercise is that if you have a truly tall tree that is getting out of control, take a measured approach and trim it back.  But do so gently, after all you do still want the tree.

I will say mine is vigorously putting out new growth and should be in perfect form for blooming in early spring.

Mango Musings on Recipes in Wilton Manors

Being up an hour and a half before Sunrise in summer means Stupid O'clock.

I'm up with the ends of the creatures of the night, walking my dog.

No, seriously.  My body has been waking up at 4:45AM.  My eye opens and stares at the Chumby that serves as an alarm clock or clock radio that someone thankfully put on top of a box saying "Free to a Good Home" and sees it in big 5 inch tall numbers just about every morning.  Sleeping in means after 5 or even 5:30AM.

No idea why.

But the creatures of the night are normally quiet and don't bother us often as we have the city to ourselves.

Rack, the McNab SuperDog would warn me if anyone were nearby.  He's way too social and will react either with fear or friendship depending on whether there's a creepy vibe or not.

One of the last places I passed by on the long walk of 1 3/4 miles is an "empty lot".  The city bought the lot last year and the eventual plans are to pave it over and put in a parking lot here in paradise.  On the corner is a mango tree.  It is a grand tree, by any definition of the words.  Shading a wide area, it is at least 30 feet tall, and drops one pound plus "Banana Mangoes" on the ground when they tree ripen, or when a good stiff breeze hits the tree.

I know that the tree is due to go because one of the city commissioners is strongly reputed to "hate that tree" and wants it to go.  Strange because that is the commissioner mostly attributed to Green Efforts to improve the environment.  City Governments do not like fruiting or nut trees because all the food that is grown never gets eaten.  Some gets damaged, some falls and breaks the windshields of the Snowbird that was too stupid to park under the tree.  It all has to be picked up and dealt with.   So they put in bland trees that give shade and shelter but no food.

I was thinking about this the other day.  I have a gentleman's agreement with an apartment building owner a short hop from my house.  This particular place has a massive tree on the corner of the property.  It is a Hagen Mango tree that bares fruit that can reach two pounds each.  Consider what a solid fruit that weighs a Kilogram would do to a head if it struck you falling from 32 feet in the air.

So I go in with my Mango Picking Pole and harvest what I can. 

It's not the best because I can only reach about 20 feet high.   This tree is about 40 feet tall, mature, and quite frankly a beautiful tree in its own right. 

However it was not trimmed with picking in mind.  They "elevated" the tree so you can walk under it and allowed it to grow tall.  To allow picking, they would have to lop the top ten feet off the tree.  It would make for a very ugly tree, however the energy of impact of falling fruit would be lessened by not having that extra ten feet to fall.

Each year that I have lived here, I am out there, picking fruit.  Most years I am able to get five buckets of fruit.  This year is a bad harvest.  I managed to only get one bucket of fruit.  The ones there are very large, but few and far between. 

To give you an idea, the Mangoes you see in a supermarket are about the size of an orange.  The ones I picked are the size of a large "gift quality" grapefruit.

And of course they are a fixture in my kitchen.  Taking about a month to ripen on the table, I wait until I can cut them with a butter knife.

Never the less, I truly enjoy those things.  Last year I made up enough Mango Jam that I finished the stuff in April.  The flowers for this year's fruit had just appeared on the tree when I washed out the last jar.

It won't be quite that much this year, which will be fine.  After all, how many Peanut Butter and Mango Jam sandwiches can you eat?

Oh and the fridge jam tastes much better.  You aren't changing the flavor of the fruit by cooking. 

The recipe you ask is simple:

• 4 cups Mango Chunks
• 1 package SureJell
• Sweeten to taste

Process

• Add Mango and SureJell to the blender.
• Blend until smooth.
• Taste.  If not sweet enough, add sweetener of choice to the blender and reblend.
• Refrigerate and use promptly, I recommend within 2 to 4 weeks.

Butterflies and Mango Trees

Walking out to the backyard, nature will present itself.  Always take a camera.

Mind you, opportunities to take a picture of nature in South Florida are common. 

I didn't expect just how common it was when I made the decision to pitch it all in Philly, and fly to Florida for a new home.

Having had Black Racer Snakes in my Florida Room, more lizards than I can count on any given wall both inside and outside of the house, and spiders that are larger than a small car in the eaves, I have grown both amused and expectant of the creatures.

After all, I ran a Frog Hotel for quite a few years until the Impact Windows got put in.  The frogs left and I am disappointed that they haven't come back.

This particular afternoon, I was being dive bombed.

Oh sure, there were Monarchs everywhere as usual.  After all there were two caterpillars turning one plant into sticks at the same time.

This was something different.  This Orange and Black creature was not a Monarch.  It was a different kind of Florida Butterfly.  It was insistent that I follow it.  After all, it was orbiting my head like stars after a cartoon character gets hit in the head by an anvil.

No, I mean literally orbiting my head.  Round and round as I walked past the spa.

I got about half way down the yard and it left me.  The silly creature fluttered over to my Mango tree and parked itself there. 

The Mango was a tree that was imprisoned in too small a pot for years until I finally freed it by chopping the pot away from its roots.  On a very hot day, I dug a hole in the yard and stuck it into the ground.  They say it is a Condo Mango and won't get more than 10 to 15 feet tall or so, so I'm hoping. 

The Mango immediately showed its appreciation by dropping almost every old leaf and then following with a complete coat of deep green leaves.  It's a very happy plant that went green almost in a day.

Overnight.

The butterfly decided it liked it too.  It was there, on a Mango leaf and I swear it turned its head to watch me.  Reaching into my pocket, I was able to get exactly one picture out of the encounter.  Then the little orange and black creature fluttered away.  Over the house and into the beyond to live out its fluttery existence.

"One is all you get" it seemed to say.

Wildlife encounters are best when the wildlife insists on a selfie before it goes.

How About a Mango Lassi With Breakfast?

This is one of those things that I do pretty much all "Mango Season", but I do it without even thinking it's odd.

It's also something that I had been doing without realizing.

There is a recipe, but I understand that everyone has their favorite.  Mine is sweet, savory, and leaves a warmth on its way down but nothing really overpowering.

Since I mentioned it in passing, and a good friend on Facebook, Emilio, said that it brought back memories, I  thought that I'd expand here.

You see, I love mangoes.  We're deep in the peak of Mango Season at this point.  There are two pound fruits falling from the trees all over the place and I simply walk past, pick them up, and say "Oh, there's breakfast!".

But how do you eat them?

I was scooping out 10 ounces of Mangoes and serving with 1/2 cup of plain yogurt on top.  That works with Bananas and other "fleshy" fruit like Strawberries or melons of various types.

Then I got bold and dusted it with cinnamon.

I realized I was onto something that I deeply enjoyed at an Indian Restaurant and thought I should look deeper into it, and perhaps formalize it.

So here's the recipe for my version of a Mango Lassi:

Ingredients:

• 10 Ounces of ripe Mango Chunks, frozen.
• 4 ounces or 1/2 cup of plain unsweetened yogurt.
• 1/2 teaspoon ground Cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground Turmeric (optional)
• 1/4 teaspoon ground Coriander Seed (optional)
• 1/4 teaspoon ground Ginger (optional)
• 1/4 teaspoon ground Cloves (optional)
• 4 (more or less) crushed Ice cubes
• Optionally sweeten with honey, sugar, stevia, or not at all.  I don't.

Process:

• Slice Mangoes into chunks and flash freeze on a cookie sheet in your freezer.
• Add to the blender all ingredients.
• All spices are to taste, and as such, they are all optional.
• Turn on blender until everything is mixed thoroughly, the ice is chopped, and the drink is smooth.
• Add a tablespoon or so of water and re-blend if the drink is too thick for you.

Serve in tall glass.

Calorie count is 215 (or so) for the entire recipe using non-fat unsweetened yogurt and no sweetener.

Add a Little Sweetness to Your Life, Have Some Mango Truck Nuts

Every so often you see something that makes you stop, scratch your head, and laugh like a fool.

I couldn't stop thinking about just how South Florida this was.

A bag of mangoes hanging off of a trailer hitch on the back of a Lexus SUV sitting behind a waterfront apartment in Wilton Manors, Florida.

So lets deconstruct that.  I will anyway since I'm still amused at the sight of it all.

It was taken in Wilton Manors, Florida just two miles from the beach.  Pretty South Florida to me.   Add to it that we're just about as central a location as you can possibly get.  Travel time to Downtown Fort Lauderdale can be as little as 10 minutes, and we're by time about the same distance from West Palm Beach and Miami's respective downtowns.  It's a little further to West Palm Beach but the roads are better heading North.

Now, that whole Truck Nuts thing?  It's a more redneck affectation - you generally don't see them hanging off of anything that isn't a pickup truck.  I have seen them on a random Jeep, but normally it's an F150 pickup truck that has been through a few miles.  A Beater.  Someone who wants to shock you. 

Why a shock?  Trucks generally don't come from Factory Equipped with a pair of day glow testicles hanging off the back so it's a bit of a sartorial mistake.

Doesn't harm anyone, but it is a bit weird.  My truck has bigger balls than you do or something equally Juvenile Mindset.  For the record, my Jeep's Trailer Hitch doesn't have anything on it at the moment.

This was a Lexus.  Mind you it wasn't exactly a new one, but it was a Lexus SUV.   So the idea of putting truck nuts on the back of a Lexus is a show stopper to begin with.

Now, it really isn't a pair of truck nuts.  It's a bag of about a dozen ripe mangoes.  Folks who have mango trees generally are trying to find a place to put all the fruit at this time of year.  A mature tree can easily put out about 100 pounds of fruit.  A large child or a small woman's worth of fruit.  It all ripens within a month of itself.

Some of that fruit can get big.  I have personally picked one mango that weighed more than 2 pounds.  That would be a full Kilogram for our Metrically Aware readers.  (Hello!)

You have to keep after your trees because a mango falling from 32 feet in 1 second is going to hit you in the head at about 27 miles per hour.  2 pounds hitting you at 27 MPH/43 KPH could be fatal.  So pick them before they fall.  The ones you don't get will roll out into the street and get mashed into the pavement or eaten by ants in short order.

Now what are you going to do with 100 pounds of fruit?

You can only make so much Mango Jam, Mango Bread, Mango Chutney, Chunked Mango, Caribbean Honey Spiced Chicken with Mango, and my own breakfast today, Mango Lassi.  Make too much and your eyes will roll back into your head in a sugar shock and you'll swear off them for the rest of the year.

I made 12 jars of Mango Jam and canned 9 of them.  If a storm knocks out power, we will have plenty of sweet Mango Jam to trade with the neighbors to have with their Peanut Butter sandwiches.

When September comes, My Dear Sister will probably get one.

(Hi Pat!)

That's how you get rid of your extras.  Some folks will sell a "Homer Bucket" full of Mangoes online.  The going price is around $10.  

But that's not what happened here.  A neighbor of this truck owner was gifted a bag of them and they were left to amuse me as I walked past.

In front of the little apartment house, next to the river that surrounds the Island City of Wilton Manors, deep in the heart of South Florida. 

Bread Machine Mango Jelly Revisited

I found this recipe and used it a couple years in a row. 

It works well with Mangoes and I have used exactly this recipe substituting Cherries or Strawberries in
season in the same amounts and got excellent results as well!  Oh and since it is a bread machine recipe, it's trivial to make.  Kick your shoes off and 1 hour later you have fresh Jam, if you want it hot.

So what's that you say, I'm done?  Not exactly.

There are a couple reasons.

First off, I did a substitution to drive the calorie count down.  Instead of 1 Cup of granulated Sugar, I substituted Stevia at the recommended amount of 1/3 Cup plus 1 Tablespoon.

Why?  The result was a less "cloyingly sweet" Jam.  It turned out slightly tart and sweet at the same time.  I love a good mango jelly/jam/whathaveyou.  But I wanted to make something a bit lighter.  In this case, I saved 774 calories across the three jars.  Each jar was about 6 ounces, so figuring a tablespoon serving, it would bring it down from approximately 50 to approximately 30.  Not exactly Earth-Shattering, but it made me feel better, and it gave me the taste I wanted.

If you want a traditional jam, go full sugar.  The texture and even the taste will be pretty much the same too.

Secondly, it's Mango Season.  Trees all over South Florida and other Northern Hemisphere tropical regions are bearing fruit.  One tree makes an amazing amount of fruit.  Literally by the bucket load.  I have harvested two full buckets from a mature tree, gave away a third to various people, and there are at least one or two more buckets up there just out of reach.

You just can't eat THAT many mangoes. 

The greenest ones I put in the refrigerator to slow down ripening.
The ripest ones went into me, and into this jam, and I know I will make at least another batch to can.
The ones in the middle I split between the fridge and the counter. 

While I really truly enjoy mangoes, even I get tired toward the end of season.

Thirdly, I had a house guest who I sent home with a dozen mangoes.  They should be just about ready to eat now, and this would be a good way to use up some of them if you have a bread machine and want an easy fix, or a big sauce pan and want a bit of a challenge.

Finally, while this is not a Canning Recipe, specifically,  I have made this up in the bread machine and then canned it and the jars were good for the typical 6 months to a year.  All canning recipes can go wrong in storage, so you do so at your own risk.

Since people don't really follow links, I'll reproduce the recipe from the above link here, word for word.


Ingredients:

• 4 Cups chunked ripe Mango pieces.
• 1 Cup Sugar or other granulated sweetener such as Stevia as recommended on the package for substitution.
• 1 Tablespoon of Lemon Juice.
• 1 Package of unsweetened or sugar free Fruit Pectin.

Process:

• Cut up your Mangoes into chunks until you have four cups of the fruit.
• Mash slightly the Mangoes, and add to the bread machine's bucket with impeller blade in place.
• Add 1 Cup of Sugar or sweeteners.
• Add 1 Tablespoon of Lemon Juice.
• Add 1 Packet of SureJell Fruit Pectin.
• Select Jam and Jelly program on your bread machine and press start.
• Alternately, this may be cooked on medium on the stove until the jam begins to set at about 30 minutes.

I did use this recipe to can some Mango Jam for later by boiling the jars and lids to sterilize, then boiling the jars to re-sterilize and set the lids.  With all Canning Recipes, you are on your own to decide how long to store the result.

No Good Mango Goes Unpunished

Mangoes.

There are two kinds of people.  Those who eat them and those who don't. 

By. The. Bucket.

There's a tree in the neighborhood.  It's on the property of an apartment building.  We know the owner and he told me to go pick my fill whenever I want to.

Well "Woo Hoo!" I said and have been picking that tree for a couple years straight ever since.  He keeps elevating the tree, trimming the lower branches, and that does make it difficult. 

With a Mango Tree, you do not want to do that.  The shape you should go for is an Umbrella - not very high but broad.  Why?  Keep the fruit as close to the ground as you can.  Since they can grow as large as two pounds a fruit, a solid Kilogram of sweetness, they can cause damage when they fall.

Imagine a melon falling from 32 feet in the air.  It takes a second to fall that distance.  21.9 MPH.  Imagine someone smacking you with an under ripe fruit at almost 22 Miles Per Hour.  An under ripe mango is about as hard as a rock...

Yeah, that's gotta hurt.

In Mango Season I go out with our trusty orange fruit picker pole and pick what I can.  When I get a bucket, I over-pick for my needs and hand some out to the neighbors.  Usually I keep a couple extra "dog bags" in my pocket so I can grab them when they fall.  The fruit tend to roll out into the street and make an awful mess if they haven't bashed in a windshield or dented someone's head.

But I have been watching our neighborhood tree.  It has been a good fruit year and there's plenty more where that came from.  It's going to take a ladder to get the ones up above the 20 foot limit of my reach at this point.

I got out there, picked my fill, and picked another dozen for a neighbor.  That's where my own size got in the way.  The neighbor's house is right around the corner, so I dropped the bucket on my porch next to the planter and pole and walked on over.   Up the drive to the front door.  I was in luck, there was someone inside cleaning.

Tapping on the window I said "Hey, I'm leaving this for the family here, can you bring this in when you are ready?".  

After all, the ants will get to a mango on the ground in 10 seconds flat, and it will be eaten away to nothing in a day.

I was greeted with a lot of yelling and hand gestures.  Ok, I can speak English, a bit of French, a tiny bit of Spanish, and a whole lot of Stupid.

As I started to turn and walk away, I draped the "t-shirt" bag on the doorknob.  "I'll just leave this here!"

More gesturing.  I don't think she can hear me.  She was yelling something in standard American English, I was wondering why she didn't just nod and smile.

"It's OK, I'll leave this for the family, bring it in when you can.  It's just a bag of Mangoes!"

More gesturing.  I spun to leave.

As it is, I'm a bit "top heavy".  High center of gravity.  I nearly fell off the porch.  At this point I realized it was either leave the fruit there and hope for the best or leave the porch and twist an ankle or worse.

I shouted at the door "It's OK, you don't have to open the door.  I'm going!".

Scratching my head in confusion I wandered down the drive.  The bag was left on the door until I was well out of sight.

That night I ran into one of the people there, Marc, and told him the story.   He laughed so loud that his dog looked up at him in some confusion, and my dog Rack dropped down to the ground.  I was told that the housekeeper was telling him about some giant guy that came by and left him some fruit but "She made a rather nice arrangement of them after all was said and done.".

So the moral of the story is that if you are going to spread the mango goodness, make sure it is jelly or jam.  Get a good recipe first.