What do you call a live-in nanny with breast implants? A faux pair.

Hey, I'm allowed and Mom was Italian.




A Russian spy, an American spy and an Italian spy

All three were captured by a terrorist organization and kept in the same cell.

The terrorists first dragged out the American spy, tied him to a chair and started asking him questions about the nation's secrets, codes and plans.

The American spy refused, and when threatened with torture he spat on their face.

After 2 continuous hours of brutal torture the American finally gave up and gave them every thing he had.

They then picked up the Russian and again asked him for his country's confidential information. The russian refused.

After 5 continuous hours of goreish, sick and disturbing torture even the russian gave up and gave them every thing he had.

Then they moved onto the Italian, did the whole thing with him, he too remained quiet.

After 6 hours of bloody indescribable torture, the italian hadn't said a word.

Soon 8 hours passed and the italian was still quiet, the terrorists grew tired and told him they'd be back in some time and left the three to rot together.

The american then turned to the italian and asked him "Hey, Luigi! What the hell was that? Do you not feel pain?"

The russian too was very shocked, "Comrade! How in the world did you endure that!"

The italian, with tears rolling down his face replied

"I wanted to talk, but my hands were tied"