I think my best friend must be dyslexic. Last night we threw a Roman-themed party and he turned up wearing a goat.

 Ok, that was BAAAAD.  Wasn't it?


After watching Bohemian Rhapsody last night, this just seems appropriate.


A drummer gets kicked out of a jazz band.

The other members of the band tell him it's because his sense of timing is just the worst. 
He's so depressed that he goes down to the train yard and throws himself behind a train.




And since it is a Sunday Morning...





Road to perdition

A priest comes to a village STEEPED in sexual deviancy and fornication. It makes Sodom and Gomorrah look pure and holy.

When the people come to confess they get graphic with a capital G! So the priest makes a rule. Instead of them relating their sin in such detail, they are to simply say, "Forgive me, Father, I have fallen."

This goes on for a long time.

The people - "Forgive me, Father, I have fallen."

The priest - "Go, child, and sin no more."

20 years go by and the priest dies.

His successor arrives and takes over. He doesn't know the village history or his predecessor's edict. So when the people come to confession ("Forgive me, Father, I have fallen"), the new priest is puzzled.

One day he receives a visit from the mayor. He says to the mayor, "You really need to fix the streets in the village. The people keep falling and they are going to seriously hurt themselves."

The mayor gives him a quizzical look, thinks about it and then all of a sudden bursts out laughing. The priest, annoyed, asks, "Why are you laughing? Your wife fell 100 times last week!"