Wednesday, April 1, 2026

April Fools Day - Or Amateur Day. You Decide.

I mean really.

This is a day where everyone thinks up little jokes to play on friends.  They usually fall flat and someone gets their feelings hurt.

I usually do a lot of jokes myself.  In fact I drop a lot of what can be called "Dad Jokes" on the weekend.  All could be told in a high school class, most in an elementary school with some explanation I am sure. 

Hey! what can I say.   I do have a little story though.

I used to work with someone, Sam.  It was the nick he went by so I guess no real names were used.  Nice enough guy but he was an intense one.

Sam had a rapport with the five Ukrainian programmers we had on staff.  The ladies were all excellent and some were struggling with English.  

One, Inna, came to me completely frustrated with her English.  Flailing her hands around I waited for her to calm down.  Grasping those now still hands, I merely told her "Inna, No matter what, I will help you".  

She said that Sam was learning Russian Language obscenities and swearing all over the office.  She was deeply uncomfortable with it.  When I asked what he was saying, she blushed and insisted that she could not say it because it was so bad.

I said "Inna, I have an idea".  

"Teach me a word.  Something sounding rude in English but it should be very common or 'nice' for all audiences."  

I then explained that I will use this word at him, publicly and really get him all worked up, but she had to explain to the other ladies what is happening and since the one who is teaching him the rude words is out of the office for two weeks, we were going to play a prank on him.

I think I made a friend and an ally then with the plan.

For the next two weeks I was calling old Sammy a "Tsviatok".  That is what I remember the transliteration to be.  It means "Flower", and if spat out by an American, it sounded really rude.

The whole office did not know what was going on and any time Sammy started up, I would sound off "What is that little Tsviatok getting into now?!".

Everyone was aware that something was up.  

When asked, I would simply say "I like you too much to tell you, let's just keep it a secret."  That usually did enough to quiet the flames.

Eventually "Management" got involved.  I was called into a Closed Door Meeting.  I have caused Closed Door Meetings many times myself, I had a privileged place in the organization and was treated as Someone Who Will Be Promoted As Soon As We Can.

My direct managers asked me point blank and said this is becoming a problem.

When I told them the story and that it meant "Flower" the laugh was loud enough to be heard outside the closed doors.

The next day, I was in front of both managers, their boss, and Sammy.  Sammy said I know what that means!

I said "Sammy stop swearing, especially in front of the bosses!".

"It isn't a swear, it means Flower!" said Sammy.

I simply repeated what I said to the bosses in that closed door meeting.  I liked Sammy but I could see that he was really embarrassed at what happened and that most of the office was in on the joke by that point.  

It turned out that the person who he was most friendly in the five Ukrainian ladies, Slava, had clued him in that morning what was going on.  

So the trap got sprung and everyone knew what was up.

Remember though, keep it light.  Someone may be uncomfortable with your little prank.

I know Sammy was.