A Man Gets Drunk - and - A Man In Ecstacy

A Man gets drunk and stumbles straight into a baptism being performed on the river bank.

The priest asks the man, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk agrees, and the priest dunks him into the water. The drunk is gasping for air.

'Have you found Jesus, Brother?'
'No mate, I haven't'

The priest dunks him in again and pulls him back out. The drunk thrashes around for a bit.
'Now have you found Jesus?'
'Nah bro, I haven't.'

The priest rolls his eyes and dunks the drunk one more time, and pulls him back up violently.
'HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS YET?'

The drunk, near suffocation, replies, 'Are you sure this is where he fell in?'


A Man In Ecstacy

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out.

It was going on 20 minutes at this point...

Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted:
"OK, OK! I can't park the damn car! You do it, you smug bastard!"