Sunday, December 17, 2017

Hey Girl, are you a bible? Cause you look like you haven't been picked up in a long time.

When I was growing up, I had a good friend, Dan.  His mom was from El Paso, Texas.  Diane was her name.  She was a fascinating character who put up with my teenage foolishness, way more than a grownup should have.  But she had a talent.  There is a tradition in the Southwest of the Cowboy Story Teller.  She had a bit of that in her, and it was always quite interesting to listen to her talk about the days back in El Paso.

Even if you never got to meet Diane, I could totally see her do this.

Cowboy dies and heads to heaven

A longtime cowboy meets St Peter soon after his death. Business has been brisk at the Pearly Gates so St Peter has instituted a 3 question test to see if you qualify to enter heaven. It’s a fairly simple test to avoid being prejudicial in any way

StPeter asks the 1 st question of the cowboy: how many days of the week start with he letter “t”.
The old fellow thinks a bit and answers with a drawl, “well, I figure all of them do”. St. Peter chuckles and says “there are only 2, Tuesday and Thursday but not the rest. But I’m curious about your answer”. The cowboy looks at St Peter and says “ well y’all right bout there being 2 but they is T’day and T’morra”. St. Peter is delighted by the answer and decides to ask the next question.

“How many seconds are there in a year?”
The cowboy ponders for a moment and answers “12”. St Peter chuckles again and says “Not even close, how did you figure that.”
The old fella says “well there’s January 2nd, February 2nd .... and December 2nd”. St. Peter is amused by the answer and the cowboys oblique approach to the questions so he decided to more to the final question.

“What is Jesus’s first name?” The cowboy answers immediately, “Andrew” St Peter, now beyond doubting the cowboy’s logic, asks, “Ok, how do you know that?” The cowboy replies, “I learned it at church from that song” “Which song?” St. Peter asks, clearly confused.

The cowboy replies, “ Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me ......

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