I'm watching my neighbor who owns a pair of apartment buildings walk around on his roof. We're commenting "Careful, if you fall through that roof, who will you sue?"
So of course this one is appropriate.
Some bloke wants to become a lawyer
The guy (lets call him John) has been dreaming about being the greatest lawyer in the state for years, and has spent the past half a decade working super hard at law school to achieve this goal.
One day, he gets an interview for a highly successful law firm called "Anderson and Nelson At Law" which has an opening for a new lawyer position.
So on the big day, John gets dressed in a sharp and finely tailored suit and drives out to the firm's building. He finally gets there about 15 minutes early, but he can't find a parking space. He drives around the building a few times but still doesn't find one.
About 10 minutes pass and he starts to panic, this was his dream! It took him months to have his resume accepted by a firm, and he is worried it may take much longer for another to accept if he misses this interview slot.
As he drives around the building, he starts to pray to God for a parking space.
"God, I don't know if you exist or not. But I promise, if you give me a parking space right now I'll go to church every Sunday, I'll give 25% of my income to charity and I'll start being a better man."
All of a sudden, a car pulls in front of him and he notices an open parking space.
He says: "Oh, nevermind God! There's one now!"