Yeah so it's July Fourth, and for the rest of the world it's Sunday.
I, on the other hand, expect to be grilling a few hamburgers.
Oh that corn that everyone suggests jumping through hoops to get "Just Right"? I found that if you take a single corn cob, microwave it at full power for 3 minutes, you have fresh corn on the cob that is better than I could do on a grill or boiled into submission in a pot.
Just add butter and or salt to taste.
And in the vein of Food ...
Raymond starts work at a zoo.
His first job is to clean out a tank of rare fish.
However Raymond slips on a wet patch, smashes the fish tank and watches in horror as the fish flip-flop around on the floor.
There are no other tanks nearby, so Raymond flings the dying fish into the lion enclosure, where a hungry lion soon snaps them all up.
Raymond does his best to hide the remains of the fish tank, then reports for his second Job: delivering a plate of buns to the chimps' tea-party.
Raymond arrives with the buns, but slips on a banana skin and falls on two of the chimps, crushing them to death.
Horrified, Raymond lobs the dead chimps into the lion enclosure and hopes no one will notice their absence.
A hungry lion soon scoffs down the dead chimps.
Raymond then reports for his third job; he has to go to the insect house and repair a tank which houses a hive of killer bees.
Raymond tries to be careful but, as usual, his clumsiness lets him down.
He falls off a ladder and lands on the beehive, squashing it flat.
Raymond is terrified that some killer bees will escape, so he stamps up and down on the hive, making sure that every bee is mushed into goo.
Once more, Raymond hurries to dispose of the evidence in the lion enclosure.
He then leaves the zoo and vows never to return.
The next day, a new lion is delivered to the zoo.
It walks into the enclosure and starts chatting to the other lions.
"So what's the food like in here?" asks the new lion.
"It used to be terrible." replies one of the other lions, "but recently it's got a lot better; yesterday we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."