I don’t mean to brag but cashiers are always checking me out.

Ok, here are two for the old folks.  Like us.  Who tell inappropriate tales and mess with other people!





A 108 year old man and his 107 year old wife appeared before Divorce Court

"Irreconciliable differences, Your Honor," said the man, when asked the reason. "We've been married for 87 years, and it's been torture all the way."

"87 years‽ That's the longest marriage I've ever seen in this court!" exclaimed the judge. "Since everything looks to be in order, we can formalize the separation today. But if I may ask, why is it you waited so long before applying to separate?"

Replied the woman, "Well Your Honor, to be honest, we were just waiting for the kids to die."






If I were 92 years old, I think I might actually say the same thing!



True Confession

An elderly man entered a church and headed straight to the confessional.

"I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "As a Catholic, you must repent your sins in order to be forgiven."
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Then why are you confessing to me?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody."