Friday, October 7, 2011

Fun on the way to the Proctology Exam

Discussing bringing someone there this morning, Mrs Dog heard the key words.  Drive.  Car.  Jeep.

Noticing a furry tail vigorously wagging, I asked "Do I have to go inside?".  No?  Great!

Mrs Dog, You're going for A! Ride! in the Jeep!

You see, Jeeps are her favorite "Dog Transportation Device".   She's a Jeeper.   Have you ever seen the bumpersticker that says "It's a Jeep Thing, You Wouldn't Understand"?   It's true.   We'll walk around and if she spots a Jeep she starts wagging her tail and expects to go for A! Ride! in the Jeep!

I look and think "Nice wheels but I have better tires".

So we gathered up all the needed technology and loaded the Jeep.   She was so excited that she thought she'd lift her almost 11 year old self up into the cabin of the little car, but since that's no longer possible, I had to pick her up.  Big 31 inch tires, but no lift so it's still too tall.

The first chore was getting the humans into the car.   Trying to get her into the back seat was tough even though she realizes that having no opposable thumbs and that her legs are too short, I'd have to have that driver's seat.  I walked over to the driver's side, got myself in, and that was when Kevin tried to eject her.  She wasn't doing too well until we dragged her into the back.  It's just safer for her to ride back there. 

We pulled out on to Dixie Highway and headed North as we read the instructions.  No smoking since Midnight the night before.  Check, non smoker household here. 

There were some oddball instructions on there such as "No Dark Colored Nail Polish".

"I wonder why no dark colored nail polish?"
I responded:  "Quality Control.  It's just ugly.  Damn Fashion Police are everywhere these days!"

That lightened the mood.  Most likely it's because if the patient goes into hypoxia, the fingernails are one place you can check for blue skin, although why they allow nail polish at all is a question.

So after a night of weird medicines that make you empty your guts out like a firehose, NOW, and a big bowl of Jello that was his last night's dinner, he's there.

That orange jello is calling to me though.  The Publix Chocolate Ice Cream is calling more, but I'll turn up the music and ignore them both.

I'll annoy her later since I'll probably have to go inside to get him and that means No Dogs Allowed.  Too bad.  She does enjoy A! Ride! in the Jeep! so.

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