Sunday, April 7, 2019

My friend got mugged yesterday. He had to call the cups.

A small-town preacher was known for getting around town on his bicycle.
One day, a neighbor noticed him walking and asked him about his missing bike.

The preacher said, "Can you believe someone stole it?!"
The man replied, "I have an idea. On Sunday, give a sermon on the Ten Commandments. When you get to Thou Shalt Not Steal, really rail on it, and the thief is sure to feel guilty and return your bike."
The preacher agreed and went on his way.

A week later, the neighbor again ran into the preacher, reunited with his bike.

"So the sermon worked, I see!"
The preacher answered, "Apparently so! I got to Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery and remembered where I left my bike."

And since I am feeling Generous today, here's a second one for a Two-Fer.

I used to work as a coast guard. There's one rescue mission that sticks in my memory.

A ship carrying a huge haul of industrial strength glue got into trouble just off the coast where I was stationed.

The weather was the worst I'd seen it, and one of the containers of glue had fallen from height and smashed into the hull, covering a number of the crew members in glue and knocking them overboard.

Luckily, they managed to cling to some nearby weather floats whilst the ship went down, but by the time we got to them, the glue that had covered them had set, and we couldn't detach them from the floats. After a long struggle we eventually got them free, but it was the most difficult rescue I was ever involved with.

That was the mission that separated the men from the buoys.

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