A redneck twofer? Yeah that's what I have for you here!
A good old Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with that? There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."
He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."
His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is?
She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house.
The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother in the middle of a big field sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand.
He yells out to him, "What are you doin?"
His brother replies, "I'm fishin'. What does it look like I'm a doin'?"
His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from Alabama a bad name, makin' everybody think we're stupid.
If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"
Rednecks in NYC
A redneck and his son visit New York City for the first time. They walk into a hotel and see an elevator.
"What's that thing, pa?" the redneck kid asks.
"I got no idea junior" the redneck dad says.
Just then, the doors open and an elderly woman steps in. The doors close. A few second later the doors open again and a beautiful young blonde steps out.
"Damn," the redneck dad says. "I still got no idea what that thing is but you shove your ma in there right now!"