Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless.

It's amusing to look at my stats on this blog.  It's never going to light the world on fire, but I will say that these dumps of jokes on the weekends tend to get read heavily after the first day. 

I started putting these up on weekends when I was still writing every single day.  I've kept the practice up, and I have people sending me jokes and one liners.  If it makes me smile or laugh, I save them and put them here.

Wednesdays, I do some original writing but between you and me, I do feel somewhat tapped out.

However, for today, I'm going to do some one liners.  The file I keep here on my desktop is getting a bit full of them.



I heard the Dalai Lama has a gambling problem - he just loves Tibet.

Dreaming in color is just a pigment of your imagination.

French People are so hardcore.  They eat pain for breakfast.

I couldn't afford new glasses so I bought a monocle - now I've got 1920 vision.

Back when I worked in mortuary sales I got the top burner award.

Two priests argued over who would serve communion. It was quite an altarcation.

The farmer brought a bucket of milk to church so it could be pastorized.

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

I relabeled all the jars in my mom's spice rack.  I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.

The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.

After buying a new sail for my boat, Amazon told me it was too late to cancel my order.  That sail has shipped.

Just saw an excellent play about fishing.... it had a good cast.

I tried calling the tinnitus helpline. There was no answer. It just kept ringing.