Sunday, March 8, 2020

Two Jealous Husband Jokes that belong together

Personally I find Jealous Husbands at least a bit tedious and most certainly more than a bit unstable.  But when I encountered these two jokes, I just thought they belonged together.

A jealous husband hired a detective to keep a watch on his wife.

The husband wanted more than a written report—he wanted a video of his wife’s activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man!
He saw the two of them laughing in the park.
He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe.
He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.
He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.

“I just can’t believe this,” the distraught husband said.

The detective said, “What’s not to believe? It’s right up there on the screen!”

The husband replied, “I can’t believe that my wife could be so much fun!”

I'm a Jealous Husband

My wife went to NYC to meet an old friend for a few days. I stayed home with our son. She was texting me pictures of the things she was seeing and I kept saying how jealous I was.

She and her friend went to a Broadway show and she texted me a picture of the stage from their seats before it started.

I replied "Man, I need some peanut butter."

It was really hard to do, but I waited for her to reply, giggling to myself like an idiot the whole time. Finally, four hours later after the show was over, I got the text:

"Why do you need peanut butter?"

Me: "Because I'm so jelly."

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