Sunday, April 26, 2020

What do you call the wife of a hippie? Mississippi.

My international audience will scratch their collective heads and wonder why the people here in the US put up with this for profit healthcare garbage.   Trust me, I could give you chapter and verse as to why the system here is rigged and how difficult it is to turn a battleship around in a harbo(u)r.

However this first joke explains it best.

The CEO of a large managed care corporation was sitting in his office late one night, gloating over his latest acquisitions. Suddenly, with a puff of smoke and the smell of brimstone, Satan appeared before him.

Satan smiled at the CEO and said, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every health care contract you bid on, for the rest of your life. Your colleagues will stand in awe of you, physicians will fear you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, and the souls of all your friends and the souls of all the shareholders in your company."

The CEO thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what´s the catch?"


10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.

  9. Directions to your doctor´s office include "take a left when you enter the trailer park".

  8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.

  7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

  6. Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day".

  5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

  4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.

  3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

  2. With your last HMO, your Viagra pills didn´t come in different colors with little "M´s" on them.

  1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.

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