Saturday, December 17, 2022

How do you keep a turkey in suspense? I’ll tell you later.

Three shorter little stories in a row.  Why?  Because I am feeling a little generous!



Mike stopped by the bar and ran into his friend Jack.

"I've been taking evening classes at the university," Mike told Jack, "and I'm learning so much."
"Who is Hobbes? Who is Mill? Who is Bentham?," Mike asked Jack.

Jack replied, "I gotta admit I don't know any of them." "But do you know who Richardson is?" Jack asked Mike.
Despite everything he'd learned in his classes, Mike was stumped and admitted that to Jack.
"Well you should," Jack said. "He's the guy who's been visiting your wife every time you head off to class."




A lawyer was interviewing a doctor about the death of a patient

"When you examined the patient, did you check his pulse?" asked the lawyer.
"I didn't" said the doctor.

"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" said the lawyer.
"No, I did not" the doctor said.

"So in other words" the lawyer said "When you signed the death certificate you had NOT taken adequate steps to confirm he was dead."
"Well, let me put it this way," said the doctor- "At that point, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk. But for all I know I guess he could've been out practicing law somewhere!"





A grandfather and granddaughter were sitting and talking when the young girl asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.

A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered.

For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up.
"You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

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