The punchline comes first. How do you know that a comedian is a time traveler?

Seemed like the proper one liner to use for the last post of a year.

And speaking of being timely, I was sent this particular little story a bunch of times since Thanksgiving and maybe it's a good time to use this one too.


A burglar breaks into a house. He begins to search the home for valuables when hears a quiet voice say
“Jesus is watching you” he dismisses it as paranoia and carries on with his crime. 

He hears the voice again “Jesus is watching you”.
He’s knows this time it’s not in his head so he looks around the room and sees a parrot in the corner.

He walks over to the parrot and it repeats one more time “Jesus is watching you”.
The burglar says to the parrot. “Is your name Jesus?”
“No it’s Moses” the parrot replied.

The burglar laughs and says “Who names a parrot Moses?” and
the parrot says “The same person who named the Rottweiler Jesus”