Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Have you ever had an idea that sounded good?
You know, something that would be a great benefit but in the end turned out really terribly executed so it basically is like banging your head against the wall. 
Something you stop doing when it ceases to be theraputic?

Read on, McDuff, this is one of those ideas.

Luckily I didn't make this boneheaded mistake.

CMAS is a piece of software that runs on smartphones.
CMAS is a service that allows you to be warned, here is the wikipedia page.
It gets information from some central server somewhere that is supposed to be keyed on where you are, based on the cell towers you are near.   Yes, even if your GPS doesn't work on the cell phones, you can find out where your cell phone is at based on the old Triangulation technique.  

If there's something that happens that is an emergency in your area, a notification is pushed to your phone and ...


Last night, in the tail of Tropical Storm Isaac, around 4PM, there were some Flash Flood Watches sounded for this part of the world.  Not like they weren't expected, we've had four days of rain in a row and a Duck and Cover Event called the Tropical Storm Watch.  Or Warning, it's never quite clear which is which. 

When you live in South Florida, these warnings are literally EVERYWHERE.  You simply can not escape it because a helpful neighbor will ALWAYS tell you about it.

Sitting in the green comfy chair, watching the rain fall, there was a Thunderstorm.   We're used to that here, the storms can be entertaining in itself.

Right as a lightning strike hits, some drone sitting in a building somewhere decided to make my phone disgorge noise.  First it started to vibrate.  Violently.  So as I reach over to grab the phone before it begins a trip to the floor, it then starts to scream like a siren.  Then back to vibrating.

Figuring it was possessed, my first thought wasn't Oh Let Me Check For An Emergency Warning, Oh no.  I wanted to Kill it with Fire.  As in accelerate it as fast as I could at the nearest Concrete Block and Stucco Wall to MAKE IT STOP.

Had this happened while I was driving, there would most likely be an automobile accident.  Mine.

Regaining composure I found the settings for this vile software.

I had three levels of Alerts. 
  1. Presidential Alerts
  2. Imminent Threats
  3. Amber Alerts

I was able to immediately turn off Imminent Threats and Amber Alerts.  Helpfully, this evil software said "Presidential Alerts are always presented."

This piece of software may not be removed.
This piece of software may not be turned off.
This piece of software may not be modified so that the alarm sound is less offensive.
This piece of software may not be modified so that the vibrate can be turned off.

This piece of software will be the reason why I will be "rooting" my phone, then installing another "operating system" so that I won't have to experience this "feature" in the future.

Cyanogen Mod will be in its future.

You see, this is the problem with software these days.  You have a marketing drone somewhere that says Oooh We Can Give The This Feature And They Will Love It And Pay Us Money.

Remember you can't uninstall this.  You are locked out from this particular feature.

I can't even find an example of it in Google Play so that I can explain what it is. 

T-Mobile's page on this software is here if you want greater detail.  I just want to know how on earth to block this thing.   It is like killing an Ant with a Sledgehammer.

I do know in the future, my purchases of Android hardware will be governed first and foremost by whether or not there is "Locked In" software like this and if I can "root" the device.  

My Device, My Rules.

That unfortunately is a big problem with software these days, whether it be Android or Windows or what have you.  I spend more time removing software from a brand new computer than I do installing operating systems.  Spyware, useless browser toolbars, and games that report back to the writer what you are doing for more pertinent advertising are the norm on Windows.  At least you can remove them there, in the case of my little purple phone, I have to go to the level of wiping it clean and starting over. 

Sad really, because the addition of things like Twitter or Facebook are only useful on a phone if you have an account and use them.   I do not have a Twitter account and do not want one so why can't I remove the software again?

Oh right that Marketing drone.

Oh well, it will be gone too I hope.   In the meantime, while I fully support President Obama, I'm hoping that he doesn't send out an order to make the phone do that again.  It was just too much of a shock the first time.  Once in 9 months is enough.  Three times in one night was ridiculous.  Since all it did was scare the living daylights out of me and not provide me with any useful information it really does need to go.  A Cancel Box plus a one line blurb saying that there was a Flood Watch In Effect is simply scaremongering.

CMAS is currently a voluntary service that needs to end.   At least in this particular way of providing the "service".

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