Sunday, September 6, 2015

A Doctor Posts An Ad In The Paper

So... this Doctor posts an ad saying "I can cure any disease for $500. If I can't cure you, you get $1000."

So this fellow who is looking to make a quick buck figures, what the hell. Looking on the internet for a disease with no cure, he finds -Tastoritis- the inability to taste any food.

"Doc," he says, walking into the office. "I have tastoritis... no cure. I can't taste anything."

The doctor says "Hmmm. I've heard of this and I've heard of some new research." Nervous, the fellow says "Yeah?" "Yeah. Nurse, get bottle 22 down from the shelf."

Pouring a big spoonful, the nurse says, "Open up."
The man opens his mouth and takes a huge mouthful. "PTTHHth" spitting it everywhere. "That's Gasoline!"
"That'll be $500." Going home, $500 the lighter, our pissed off patient decides to give it another shot.

-Cuncussive Amnesa- After a hit on the head, no memory what so ever. "Doc, I have cuncussive amnesia. No memory, what so ever."
"Hmmm," says the doctor. "I've heard of this. And I've also heard of some new research." Uh oh. Thinks our patient, but says "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Nurse, get down bottle number 22."
"Hell No!" says the patient, "That's Gasoline!"
"That will be $500"

Now down $1000, our patient is determined. -Blindness- Can't see a thing. (Hey, there's no cure for blindness. I'll get him)

"Doc, I'm blind. I can't see anything."
"Hmmm." says the Doctor. "I've heard of this. I've also heard of some new research."

Our patient, nervous, though determined, I'll drink a mouthful of gasoline, if it means getting back my $1000. "Nurse, get bottle 22 down from the shelf."

Pouring a big spoonful, the nurse says "Open up!"
Drinking down the gasoline, our patient winces, near gagging, but keeps up the act.

"Anything?" asks the Doctor. "Nope. Still blind."

The Doctor turns to the nurse.  "Well, we better write this man a check for $1000."
The nurse writes the man the check and upon receiving it, he turns toward the door with a smile on his face. "Wait a minute," he says... "This check says $10!"

"That will be $500"

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