Going through things here, I found three stories, all too short to stand on their own. So here you go, a Triple Play.
It's easier this way, and besides, the Golden Orb is in the sky and I don't think it's going to last this weekend.
Quick, go out and look at the warmth and brightness it brings, safely.
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says “Make me one with everything”.
The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it.
The Buddhist asks “Where’s my change?” and the vendor replies “change must come from within”.
A gun then extends from the Buddhist’s chest and he asks again.
The vendor says “Whoa, man, where did that come from?”
The Buddhist replies “This is my inner piece”.
A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe as his boss lectured and answered difficult questions about the nature of things and the meaning of life.
Then, one day, the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for just one evening. The philosopher agreed, and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well.
However, when the time came for questions, someone at the back of the room asked him, "Is the epistemological meta-narrative that you seem to espouse compatible with a teleological account of the universe?"
"That's an extremely simple question," he replied. "So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer it."
A guy is showing his friend around his apartment
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guys picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake ... it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"