Saturday, January 18, 2020

Slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace..

Actually that's not strictly true.  I don't have a fireplace in my house.  It's in Florida, and if you are lucky you get to use it once a year. 

On the other hand, a couple of my neighbors have a Chiminea or an outside fireplace.  It's always a little odd when you step outside and smell burning wood, but they do enjoy sitting out there.

A man and a woman were traveling in a train.
Woman : Every time you smile,feel like inviting you to my place.
Man: Awwww ... Are you single?

Woman: No. I'm a dentist.

Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard.
He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail.
He also was a very spiritual person.
Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very smelly breath.

He eventually became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender what time the most beautiful women show up at...

The bartender tells him "It's all in the eye of the beer holder"

Two muffins are in an oven

The first muffin says "Oh my, it's getting hot in here!"

The second muffin turns around in shock and screams, "OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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