As I sit in this little apartment with exactly one large mirror. I'm not prone to being a magpie or a peacock staring into a dog's dish hubcap but well... Blah.
It is a perfect time to be sitting in my rocking chair, sipping a tankard of half caff coffee, and reading a long story like this one.
So there's this bar in New York called Walter's - it's named after the guy who runs the place, Walter Green. He's an older guy who doesn't understand a lot of technological stuff, and so the bar is plain and simple, just as it was when he first opened it back in the 1960s. One of Walter's regular customers is Joe, a theoretical physicist at a nearby lab who was working on a secretive time travel project. Their idea was that instead of bringing people from the modern day back in time, they could bring notable figures from the past into the present day through effectively making a copy of them - therefore not creating any time paradoxes or stuff like that. After years of work, they managed to finally get a working prototype going.
Their first test was bringing Albert Einstein into the present day, as they thought he'd be interested in their invention. After they achieved this, they explained how it works. Einstein was absolutely astonished at their work, and congratulated them profusely. After this, the team, plus Einstein, went out for a drink at Walter's, as they thought the bar wouldn't overwhelm their guest too much with new technology. They all had the best night of their lives - Einstein got incredibly drunk and nearly forgot he'd been brought to the future until he stepped outside again.
The next day, after saying their farewells to Einstein, they struggled to figure out who to bring back next. Joe had been reading a book about the history of communications in America, and the idea of bringing back Samuel Morse came to mind. The others agreed that he would be an interesting person to talk to, and so they set about bringing him to the present. After they went through the same explanation as they did with Einstein, they decided to try and re-create the experience they gave him.
The team walked down to Walter's again, Samuel Morse in tow. However, this time, there was a problem. When they entered the bar, Morse was disgusted, and explained that he was a committed teetotaler who had not drunk a drop of alcohol in his life. No matter how they insisted, he simply refused to even try a drink. Running out of ideas, the rest of the team brought Morse back to the lab. Joe stayed behind to apologise to his friend about the angry reaction they got from Samuel Morse.
"I just don't see what his problem was. Einstein had a great time here, but Morse just wasn't having it at all."
Walter poured himself a drink, and took a long sip before replying to Joe:
"You know what they say; you can take Morse to Walter's, but you can't make him drink."