What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad.

I'm sitting here watching the debate with the Prosecutor and the Felon thinking well, this is appropriate timing.

So what policies are you going to pursue?



A politician arrives at the Pearly Gates..

St. Peter is there to greet him, checks the roster and says "Oh! you're a politician. before I let you in you have to spend a day in heaven and a day in hell."

the politician says "Huh? that's crazy. Why?

St Peter says "It's policy"

"Okay" says the politician, 'Lead the way"

St. Peter lets him in. A lush valley appears before him. Angels are singing, harps are playing. people are just relaxing.

"Pretty boring" thinks the politician. He goes to sleep that night.

In the morning, he wakes up on the path to hell.

"Uh-oh" he thinks, "This will be barren landscapes, rivers of lava and souls being tortured"

He rounds the corner and is at the gates of hell. Lush, beautiful landscapes, Beautiful sunny weather. People are playing golf and volleyball. Ahead is a 5-star hotel. He goes in and there is a bountiful buffet with all you can eat. The devil is there, wearing a tuxedo and sipping a Martini. He eats, golfs and is enjoying himself. he sleeps that night on a lush mattress for the best sleep ever.

In the morning, he wakes up back at the pearly gates. "Well," says St Peter, "What will it be?

"I'll take hell" says the politician and Poof! He is back in hell.

But it is barren landscapes, Rivers of boiling lava, the smell of sulfur and all you can hear is screaming souls being tortured. And there stands the devil in his tuxedo, sipping a martini

"What happened?" says the politician

The devil says, "Yesterday we were campaigning, today you voted!