Refreshing Clean Humor

You know, I'm actually running low on these weekend posts.  So yesterday when local, Diane Cline, sent me this one, I was happy to share it.  A couple of clean jokes for a Sunday Morning.  I actually laughed out loud at a few of these, so I know you'll enjoy them too.

Subject: Refreshing Clean Humor

While I sat in the reception  area of my  doctor's office, a woman rolled  an elderly man in a wheelchair  into the  room.  As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I  should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and  walked over to  the wheelchair.  Placing his hand on the  man's,  he  said, I know how you feel.  My mom makes me ride in the stroller  too..'

*****

As I was  nursing my baby, my  cousin's  six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room.  Never having seen anyone breast  feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing.  After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those too, but I  don't think she knows how to  use them..'

*****

Out  bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a  little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.  Carolyn shrugged. 'In  ten years you'll  be too old to do all those things anyway.'

******

Working as a  pediatric nurse, I had the  difficult  assignment of giving immunization shots to children..  One day, I entered the examining room to give  four-year-old Lizzie her  needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed.  'Lizzie,' scolded her mother,  'that's not  polite behavior.'  With that,  the girl yelled even   louder, 'No, thank  you!  No, thank   you!

******

On the way back from a  Cub Scout meeting, my  grandson innocently  said to my son, 'Dad, I know babies come  from  mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?'  After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson  finally spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if  you don't know the answer.'

*****

Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to  him.  'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told  him. 'I'm  going to Iraq .'   'Why?' he asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going on over there?'

*****

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, an blood diseases. One afternoon, he and  his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have  lunch with the kids.  A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young  patients wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie  star, explained,  That's the man who made this  camp possible. Maybe you've seen  his picture  on his salad dressing bottle?' Blank stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade  carton.'  An eight-year-old girl perked  up.  'How long  was he missing?'

*****

and my  personal favorite...God's  Problem  Now: His wife's  graveside service was just  barely finished, when  there was a massive clap of  thunder,  followed by a tremendous  bolt of  lightning, accompanied by  even  more thunder rumbling in the distance.  The little, old  man looked  at  the  pastor and calmly said, "Well,  she's there."