Why did the network admins go to Hooters?
To see the the server racks.
Someone just threw a bottle of omega 3 fish oil at me!
Luckily my injuries were only super-fish-oil.
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
That joke was Amazon!
What do a cheezit and a hungry white stoner have in common?
Both are baked snack crackers.
My ex tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends that I was terrible in bed.
Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
My cannibalistic friend really annoyed me!
So I gave him a piece of my mind.
How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I MEANT LADDER!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...
Man I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
What do astronauts use to enhance their performance?
What do you call an insect on your family tree?
An ANT-cestor or just an aunt?
What did the wrench from New York say to the guy who kept interrupting him?
Hey, I'm torque'in over here!
What would you call Barbie's Boyfriend if he was an alcoholic?