Sunday, February 12, 2017

How About Some More One Liners?

I Fell asleep at a house party last night and someone stuck a Teabag in my mouth!
I went totally Mental!
I mean, No one treats me like a mug!

A recent study has found out that women who carry a wee bit of extra weight live longer ...than the men who mention it.

What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear!

When in doubt...
Wife : I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... I have doubt on one woman we both know.... What to do?
Shrink: Take your husband to that woman's doorstep and see if his wi-fi connects automatically.

The definition of a Freudian Slip is:
It's when you say one thing you but you mean your mother.

Apple has just turned to making Medical Accessories.
Their first product is the Ipatch.

I have a girlfriend but ...
"But what?"
"She's in another nation"
"Which one?"

What kind of pants does a scientist wear?
A pair of genes.

Yes, I have lost to my computer at chess...
But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing!

Why do people never eat clocks?
Because it’s really time consuming.

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