Saturday, February 18, 2017

Even More Short Jokes!

A Job Interview in Psychiatry:

So you’re interested in working with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?
I’ve been on Facebook for 5 years now.
Very good, the job is yours.

 What perches on your computer and says "Pieces of Seven! Pieces of Seven!"?
A parity error!

(you may want to read that last one out loud)

My friends asked me to impersonate a lion.
It was a roaring success.

I have spilt paint!
It's a dyer situation.

How does the moon get a haircut?
Eclipse it.

I was going to write the Great American Nursing Home Romance Novel...
....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.

The next one ... Pick a Punchline!

My roommate claims I am Schizophrenic.
a) We'll show him.
b) Joke's on him, I don't have a roommate!
c) I believe you mean Dissociative Identity Disorder? Unless your roommate is actually just a hallucination, in which case...carry on my mentally ill compatriot
d) I'M NOT CRAZY! The voices in my head would have told me that...

Again... Pick a Punchline!

How many millennials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
a) None, it's already lit, fam.
b) But you can bet your ass we will be sure to complain about it though!
c) I don't know, but there better be an outlet somewhere nearby so I can charge my phone. And BTW, do you have a charger I can borrow? I lost mine.

What's the best thing about Switzerland?
Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

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