Ok, on Saturdays I usually put up jokes.
Nope. Not today.
You may have been reading about this monster storm. If you're in the path of Hurricane Irma, stay safe, and stay under cover.
At one point the path for this beast had landfall in Key West - 200 miles away.
At one point the path for this beast was literally 3 blocks away from me here in Wilton Manors, Suburban Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Then it moved into the ocean between us and the Bahamas.
Then back to us.
Then to where it is, now, Friday evening.
By my reconing, it would be coming ashore about mile marker 30, the Seven Mile Bridge in the Keys, just West of Marathon, FL.
A second landfall would be east of Marco Island, and then North up the state.
Enough Naval Gazing.
A power outage here can happen because a butterfly farted on a power line.
I have become convinced that the infrastructure here is made from old abandoned barbed wire that was sourced from fence posts on a farm in the Southwestern US.
You know those pictures of rusted barbed wire stapled to a weathered piece of drift wood?
Thanks, FPL, power goes out on a Thursday here.
So I spent the day debating and went on a cooking binge.
Made up 20 hamburgers for the dog because it would free a space for another bag of ice in the freezer. It's now about 2/3 ice in a freezer that is about as tall as I am.
I'm a big guy. Tall, built like a gym teacher.
Then I started looking at the fridge.
Found Cream. Specifically Whipping Cream.
Made 2 and a half batches of:
2 cups Self Rising Flour.
1 1/4 cups of Whipping or Heavy Cream.
1 tablespoon of table sugar.
Mix, then knead until it becomes semi sticky. Like modeling clay.
Divide into 10, and bake at 450F for 11 minutes or until golden brown.
Sorry for only Imperial Units, I actually weighed everything to the gram and annotated the weights in my recipe book, but it's late and ...
Hey if anyone wants my metric measurements, Ask!
See, the point is that cooked food has a longer shelf life when the power goes out than "raw".
The other point is that you really do have to analyze your every move in a hurricane for preparation.
So this weekend no jokes.
If I get to have power tomorrow morning, Saturday, I will go through the normal morining rituals which includes putting up jokes for Sunday. Then I'll write something for the next couple articles. Nothing fancy.
"If you're reading this, my blog is on auto pilot, blahblahblah, Hi There!"
If no connection to the internet because power is down, well folks, think well of me and I'll get back to you when everything comes back.
When Hurricane Wilma hit here in 2005, my own block was without power for 2 weeks.
If Hurricane Irma goes on that path that will do so much damage to South West Florida, the storm will not be quite as strong as Wilma was. We here will be safe.
I'll be back then.
Stay safe, no matter where you are reading this from in the world.
Help your neighbor if they need it. Mine did.
Save your prayers, get off your collective butts and do something that positively changes the world. Vote for people who will actually DO something to reduce carbon emissions and stop Climate Change or Global Warming. Millions of people doing small acts of improvement will move the world the right way, away from having two 500 Year Storms in one month.
As the old CB Radio jargon said - See Ya On The Flip Side!