If you are a weightlifter of note... you'll get that topic. :)
There was an old town with a haunted graveyard.
Every night at midnight, a coffin would rise out of the ground.
A man moves into the town and everyone warns him not to go through the graveyard at night.
One night he was on a jog late in the evening. It soon started to pour down rain. The man wanted to get home quickly so he cut through the graveyard, despite the warnings.
Soon he hears a loud THUD THUD sound. He turns around to see the coffin rise from the ground and slide toward him. He starts running away, still hearing the THUD THUD sounds.
He turns back to see it catching up with him. He reaches the town and tries desperately knocking on doors to have someone help him. THUD THUD the coffin gets even closer.
He runs to the drugstore and grabs a bottle of cough syrup. And that stopped the coffin