Saturday, May 25, 2019

If life gives you melons... You're probably dyslexic.

A clean joke that is a bit edgy?  Oh yeah, just read on!

An old lady decides to go to the new butcher shop that just opened in town

So she walks in, the butcher welcomes her with a big smile

- "Welcome, what can I do for you today"

- "I'll need 400 grams of ham please"

The butcher goes to his ham, get his chopper, does a clear cut in one go, put it on the scale : 400.0g. The old lady says :

- "You got lucky here"

- "Please ma'am, I'm a professional"

- "Ok then, next I'd like 582 grams of lamb leg."

The butcher smiles, goes to the lamb legs, chose one, rise his chopper and BAM, clear cut, put on the scale : 582g.

The old lady is impressed. At this moment, a man runs in the chop with a newborn in his arms and says :

- "My wife just gave birth in the car, and we need to know how much the baby weighs..."

- "I'd say 3.451 kg" says the butcher.

- " No he is much smaller than that, I'd say 2.9kg max" replies the old lady.

So the butcher offers : "We'll ask my apprentice to weigh the baby on our high precision scale, if he is under 3kg, you'll get your meat for free. That way it will be fair"
He calls his apprentice from the back and asks him to take the baby to the scale outback and come back with his weight.

The apprentice takes the baby and goes to the back shop. He comes back 5 min later and says
- "882 grams !"

So everybody is like "Wait that's impossible"
- "I swear ! 882 grams, emptied and boned !"

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