Nose jokes stink but eye jokes are cornea

There is an art to finding jokes that are clean enough to tell in front of a general audience.  You know, when there are kids present, you don't want to be telling the more coarse stories and lose half of your audience.

Sure, the kids will get it but the parents will fah-reek out!

So I tend to specialize in "Dad Jokes" on the weekend.

When do you know a joke is a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.

When does the punchline become apparent?
After the delivery.





A young boy enters a barber shop.

The barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:
“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”