At the end of the day, a Border Collie reported back to the rancher, "All 50 sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
I was sitting in a bar and some Comic Sans tried to hit on me.
I said, "Sorry, you're not my type."
I was eating lunch in the park when all of a sudden a crow landed in front of me and promptly keeled over on its side. I set my lunch down and leaned forward to see what the matter was.
In that moment, an owl swooped in, plucked my sandwich off the bench, and carried it up to the treetop above me. Imagine my further surprise when the crow sprang to its feet and fluttered up to join the owl in devouring my sandwich.
I think they were in caw-hoots.
A pilot and his co-pilot fly in an empty passenger plane.
Mid flight, the pilot decides to land the plane with the top of its head torwords the ground. The plane crashes, and everything goes boom. Neither of them survived.
In the after life, the co-pilot asks the pilot: "Why have you done this?"
The pilot answers: "I thought it would go Boeing."
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
I was sitting in a bar and some Comic Sans tried to hit on me.
I said, "Sorry, you're not my type."
I was eating lunch in the park when all of a sudden a crow landed in front of me and promptly keeled over on its side. I set my lunch down and leaned forward to see what the matter was.
In that moment, an owl swooped in, plucked my sandwich off the bench, and carried it up to the treetop above me. Imagine my further surprise when the crow sprang to its feet and fluttered up to join the owl in devouring my sandwich.
I think they were in caw-hoots.
A pilot and his co-pilot fly in an empty passenger plane.
Mid flight, the pilot decides to land the plane with the top of its head torwords the ground. The plane crashes, and everything goes boom. Neither of them survived.
In the after life, the co-pilot asks the pilot: "Why have you done this?"
The pilot answers: "I thought it would go Boeing."
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon
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