Sunday, May 10, 2020

House Cleaning or The Attack Of The One Liners

I have jokes sent to me frequently.
I look for humor everywhere I go.

If it is suitable for all audiences, I save it on a text file on my Linux computer for later use.

So I get a lot of the stuff, and they do add up. 

After all, the file was originally called "Thirteen Bad Jokes.txt"

Since I have quite a few One Liners, today I'm going to shorten my file here and disgorge thirteen of them for our hopefully mutual amusement.

I was kidnapped by mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

Ocean walks in to a bar.  Bartender says "why so blue?"

Think. This is what you can do when you can't Thwim.

I really hate stereotyping.  The novel my stereo typed was garbage.

The man who invented Velcro has died.  RIP

We need to thank the guy who invented Venetian blinds for saving mankind.  Without him it would be curtains for us all.

Breaking News: A programmer has been accused of writing unreadable code.  He has declined to comment.

Wanna see something cute and wholesome?  Don't look in the mirror then.

A doe walks out of the woods looking bewildered.  “I’m never doing that for two bucks again.”

I told my friend a joke about chairs.  It didn't sit with them too well.

My girlfriend is a keeper.  She works at the zoo.

What's green and not heavy?  Light green!

I have a hen who can count her own eggs.  She's a mathemachicken.

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