Saturday, May 2, 2020

My cooking is fit for a King. Here King! Here King!

Having just stuffed my gut full of French Toast made from one of those bread recipes from the last couple weeks... Some days are better in the kitchen, and some days are better being out of it!

If I have to describe this next one, it's of course suitable for all audiences, but it's got an Afterburner on it.  Make sure you read it through.

I had a few jokes I loved as a kid

Like, there was this one where these three friends were out after it rained and had some bricks.

They wanted to decide who was the strongest by seeing who could throw the bricks in the air but didn't have a way to measure the height so they decided that since it was muddy outside, they'd throw the bricks up and then see how deep they sink into the mud.

The first friend threw a brick up and it sunk a few inches into the mud, then the second threw another and it sunk down nearly a foot into the mud, then the third friend throws his brick up in the air and it doesn't come back down.

(I don't really get it either, but stay tuned!)

Another joke I used to love was this one about a woman trying to go on vacation, and the only airline she could get tickets for had a strict "no smoking, no birds" rule.

Well she didn't smoke so that was fine, but she did have a pet parrot that she wanted to take with her.

She decided, alright she'll take the flight and just try to hide the parrot in her jacket.

So she was on the plane and after a while of being in the air, the pilot came and walked down the aisles just to check on everyone and he was puffing on a large cigar.

Walking past the woman, he noticed a noise from her.

He asked her "what's that?" And she told him it was just her stomach, so he started to move on before he noticed some movement in her jacket.

He asked her once again "what's that?" And she told him that it was nothing. He stood their suspicious for a moment before he heard another squawk and finally unzipped her jacket.

He grabbed the parrot and let it out the window, telling her that no birds are allowed on the flight, so she grabbed the cigar from his mouth and threw it out the window in rage while yelling at him "well you're not allowed to smoke on the plane!"

So she sat back down angrily and he stormed off back to the cockpit, then after he was sitting there for a minute, he heard a knocking on the window.

He looked outside and the parrot was sitting there and guess what it had in it's mouth. The brick.

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