Saturday, August 29, 2020

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police!

Insurance people have their own language, their own jargon and of course, their own humor.
I had the (ahem) pleasure to work in an insurance company years back, and I have to say that they all had their own way about them. 

This is why when I was reading these this morning, I was a bit surprised to see that I laughed at each.

I mean, have you ever seen an actuary laugh?  Statisticians? 


Three insurance salesmen were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each of their companies’ services.

The first one said, “When one of our insureds died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening.”

The second one said, “When one of our insureds died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in two hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening.”

The last salesman said, “That’s nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of a tall building. One of our insureds, who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor.”


A man fell asleep on the beach under the noonday sun and suffered a severe sunburn and heatstroke. 

He was taken to the hospital where his skin was a bright red, painful and started to blister.
Anything that touched him caused agony.

The Doctor attending and prescribed continued intravenous feeding of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and Viagra.
"What good will Viagra do him in that condition?" the nurse inquired.
"It will keep the sheet off of him."



A client calls up his insurance agent and tells him he needs to file a claim.

The agent says "Tell me what happened?"

The client tells him and the agent says "I´m sorry but that´s not covered."

The client says "Well, let me explain better what happened."

The agent says "I´m sorry but that´s not covered either."

The client says " I´ll tell you what, you tell me what´s covered and I´ll tell you how it happened!"

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