My son was getting super stressed learning about decimals. I guess you could say it was getting pretty tenths.

 
A doctor was telling a colleague about a patient who had come in from a terrible car accident.

"They were losing a lot of blood and had to be operated on right away. 

The other passengers from the accident came in with them, but were mostly unharmed. 

As I saw to the patient, a nurse got information from the others involved in the accident, apparently a brother and sister, Augustus and Beatrice Coulomb, who were driving with their friend when they crashed in the rain. 

We were very low on the blood needed for their friend, but thankfully the brother and sister were both universal donors."

The colleague asked, "So which one did you get the blood from, the brother or the sister?"

The doctor shrugged and replied, "A little from Coulomb, A; a little from Coulomb, B."

 

Since that was a bit short, here is a bonus!

 

A man flying on a plane noticed that this one woman in the other aisle had a terrible-looking baby.

Ugly baby. I mean, a bad-looking baby. The woman caught him staring, and she says, “What are you looking at?” He said, “I’m looking at that ugly baby. That’s a hell of a kid you got there. Don’t worry, no one will steal THAT baby.”

The woman took this as an offence. She calls for the stewardess and points at the man...

“That man just insulted me. I don’t have to pay all this money for a plane to be insulted like this.”

The stewardess goes, “I deeply apologize madam. I would be delighted to help arrange your seating. We have a spot up in First Class where we can give you a free meal. And maybe we can find a banana for your monkey.”